Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

The Nigerian

Azi = Youth

Azi and I have had 3 “dates”: one back in November, one two weeks ago and one last Monday. We had dinner together the first time and sex all 3 times.

It was good sex all 3 times. He’s a very nice man, but there isn’t any ‘electricity’ (probably that’s because he’s not a total douchebag asshole that needs me for my money *sigh*).

Read the rest of this entry »

4 Comments »

Loserman’s Friend: Cevichito

Image result for the mexican

Originally, his name was going to be LMF for Loserman’s Friend, but that seemed horribly unfair and, ultimately, it could affect the way I treat him or think about him.

Read the rest of this entry »

4 Comments »

Did You Even Notice?

Lovers by Ivan Koulakov

Lovers
by Ivan Koulakov

My dream was that you would always be my “Papa Bear”

That you would take care of me

And I you

That I would be able make you proud

And you would be able to forgive me when I didn’t

I tried to help you slay demons from your past

I tried to help set your spirit free

I showed you everything I am

I gave you forgiveness

I wanted you to trust me

I needed you to trust me

…to be as vulnerable with me as I was with you

Read the rest of this entry »

1 Comment »

Sk8cation: The Drive Home (Monday and Tuesday)

Click here to read Sunday.

Sk8cationPalm

I wish I could tell you that we drove home in peace. The End.

That’s how I wished it would be.

Truthfully, I think this trip was karma serving me up some of my just desserts. So, I was still trying to roll with it.

For the most part…

It would be over eventually, right? And I was probably learning something…

This last part of the story is going to be difficult to write because there were a lot of my feelings involved and even more talking. Of course you are only going to hear what I remember, which is definitely going to paint me in a better light, but I always try to put this out here as objectively as I can. This journal is something I go back to later in order to see what-the-fuck. It’s important to me that I am as accurate as possible.

Read the rest of this entry »

1 Comment »

Sk8cation: Sunday

Read about Friday, Saturday Morning and The Rest of Saturday

After Saturday’s skate party was over, our fellow Denver-ite skater friend, Maya, asked for a ride back to our hotel. She wanted to wait in the lobby for her ride back to town and I was happy to oblige. It was nice to have someone else to talk to after skating – someone who has been to one of these things before… The conversation was nice and I learned a lot about the Denver skate drama scene (one thing she told me made me very happy I hadn’t gone to a skate party the year before with a different girl. Whew!).

I had mentioned a few times near the end of the night that I wanted to take a bath – I could feel the soreness in my bones. So, we returned to the hotel and said “Good-bye” to Maya. I told Scorpio he could take the first shower – I didn’t want to get my dirtiness all over the shower before he had a chance to get clean (seriously, that’s how I said it). Also, I wanted to take my time lounging in the hot water. Maybe his germ-o-phobe ass would fall asleep before I crawled into bed like the night before.

He didn’t even suggest that we shower together, he just hopped in the shower and started…. We talked while he was cleaning off – he was telling me what a great time he had, how he had no idea how much fun it would really be and thanking me for “inviting” him! He was downright giddy!

Then, something strange happened. He finished up his shower, dried off and started running a bath for me. I was shocked and all I could think to say was, “Ummm… Thank you for running my bath?”

Read the rest of this entry »

10 Comments »

Sk8cation: The Rest of Saturday

Read about Friday here

After our wonderfully awkward morning together, Scorpio needed to take a shower (ya think!?). But it wasn’t only because of his little phone sex episode in the bed earlier, it was also the fact that he has to be as germ-free as possible at all times and he had just spent and entire night sleeping across a king-sized bed from my filthy ass. (Can you feel the sarcasm oozing here?) We were going to a free picnic in the park that afternoon and he needed to look his best.

To be honest, I don’t remember what I did while he was taking forever to get ready. It didn’t bug me for the first half of the vacation, but he just takes so long to do everything. I was probably out on the deck again getting high. That’s probably why I don’t remember.

Anyway… The picnic was pretty freaking awesome!!

Read the rest of this entry »

1 Comment »

Sk8cation: Saturday Morning

To read about Friday’s adventure click here

BlameItOnYourPeriod

I got my mother-fucking period.

Again!

And on my Sk8cation, too!!

That is officially 3 ‘cycles’ in as many weeks.

Before we left I figured I should be safe for a few days, right? Even a few weeks?

Fuck this change-of-life shit!

It actually started at the end of our drive Friday night, but I was hoping it was a fluke and only mild spotting (just like I thought the prior week right before I got period #2).

Nope. It wasn’t spotting. Saturday morning I woke up with another full-blown menstrual period!

Read the rest of this entry »

5 Comments »

Sk8cation: Friday

Scorpio called me late Thursday evening to discuss the details of our Sk8cation.

During our chat, he actually suggested that we leave a little earlier than 6AM like I was planning! It surprised the hell out of me, but I was all over it.

Then, when I got to his house to pick him up at 5:30 Friday morning, he was actually ready!!! This also surprised the hell out of me because all the other times I have gone to pick him up, he has been running at least 30 minutes behind.

We made it out of Denver before the serious morning traffic set in and started our drive over the mountains.

Almost 2 hours after we left, Scorpio mentioned the fact that he had only managed to save enough for the 2 skating sessions ($18 each night) and $5 for food. Could I take care of “the rest” for him and he’d pay me back later?

Read the rest of this entry »

4 Comments »

A Meeting With Mr. X

Photo Credit: lanier67

Photo Credit: lanier67

Mr. X and I met briefly last week after a brief and uncomfortable text conversation. I was going to share it with you here, but it’s longer than I remembered it to be.

In short, we decided to meet so we could hash a few issues out face-to-face.

I was nervous because of some things I said to him before he left town on some family business.

We talked about our situation and how it needs to work for both of us. (I have to admit that I am really starting to like this “open communication” and honesty thing. Especially when my ‘partner’ doesn’t hate me for sharing my feelings…)

  • He agreed only to tell me about future “plans” or fun things we’re going to do if he’s at least 75% sure it’s going to happen (or 80%, I can’t remember…). Anything less than that and he has to keep it to himself so I don’t get my hopes up 😉
  • I agreed that I need to back off. I need to practice patience. He totally spoiled me at the beginning with attention (not a complaint, just an observation) and I got used to it. In fact I loved it, even though I knew that it couldn’t possibly be that way all the time.

It’s surprising how attached I have become to him in such a short time. We’ve only ‘known’ each other since the end of November, but he already knows so much about me.

Even more than Loserman did.

And Mr. X still likes me…

2 Comments »

Monday Motivation: Promises

If you make them

Keep them

Please?

Last week, Scorpio was supposed to call me before Wednesday night to confirm our date.

He didn’t.

I wasn’t surprised or angry, but I was disappointed.

He promised he wouldn’t forget.

And, technically, he didn’t. He called me while I was driving home from work Wednesday night and asked, “Are we still on for tonight?”

I expected this actually, so my response was easy, “I was waiting to hear back from you and when you didn’t confirm, I didn’t know if I should plan anything for us.”

He thought about it for a second and then replied, “Oh, yeah. You’re totally right. I’m really sorry I forgot.”

“It’s okay,” and then I said, playfully, “It’s your loss.”

“I know, huh,” he acknowledged. “Where are you right now?”

“I’m on my way home from work,” then I told him my actual location in traffic. “Where are you right now?” I asked.

“Downtown,” then he told me the cross-streets, “I just got off work and I thought, if we were going to do something tonight, maybe you could pick me up. But, since I forgot to confirm with you, I’ll just take the bus.”

I had an idea. “Well, I’m in a good place to come pick you up and give you a ride home? That way I could see you tonight anyway. Even if it’s just for a little while. Does that sound like something you could go for?”

“That would be really awesome!”

“Okay. It will take me like 30 minutes to get there, okay?”

“Okay, beautiful. Thank you!”

We discussed exactly where he was and where we would meet. He explained to me that his phone was dying and our call might get disconnected.

It didn’t then, but it did die before I tried to call him back later.

When he wasn’t where we had agreed he would wait.

Big fucking surprise, right?

Finally, as I’m putting money in the meter, he wanders out of the building where he was working, “Hey, babe. Have you been waiting long?”

“Yeah. About 15 minutes. I’ve been wandering around looking for you.”

“Sorry about that,” he said. “I was upstairs talking to the security guard and I didn’t see you pull up.”

“Okay, cool. I’m glad you’re still here and didn’t leave.” (I was only like 10% mad at this point – mildly irritated, I guess. Or incensed.)

(But, Seriously! OMFG!! He knew I was coming, and that his phone was dying, and he didn’t wait in the lobby by the windows like we had planned. Sound like Loserman a little? *sigh*))

We hugged and he put his stuff in the back seat then asked if we could walk down to 7-11, he wanted to pick up a Black & Mild.

“Sure, no problem,” I said. Because it wasn’t. There was money in the meter and it was a nice evening. He put his arm out and we strolled arm-in-arm one block to the 7-11.

After all that was over and we were on the road, Scorpio said, “Okay. I know you’re going to laugh at me because I keep asking this, but what day are we leaving on that skate trip?”

He was right. I did laugh. I laughed because I have told him every single time that I have seen him for the last two months that it’s over Valentine’s weekend – we’ll be leaving really early on the morning of Friday the 13th. I even printed out the flyers for it and gave them to him!

After I was done with my giggle-fit, I explained it to him all over again. Then I looked him straight in the eyes and asked, “Are you still going to go on this trip with me?”

“Of course I am,” He replied.

I asked again, “Are you sure? If you cancelled at the last minute it would totally suck.”

“Yeah, babe. I’m still planning on going with you,” he reassured me.

(He sure doesn’t seem very excited about it. Don’t other people get excited about going on vacation?! Or is it just me?!?!?!)

We talked some more about what time we need to leave on Friday morning, what time the Friday night rooftop party starts, what we were going to wear…

I asked him if he would be able to help me check out the car (Breezy) on Sunday afternoon (yesterday) to make sure he was ready for the long drive.

He said that he thought he would be able to because he would already be working on a friend’s car Sunday, too.

But he would get back to me Saturday night for sure.

He promised.

I said, “Don’t forget about me this time,” then I winked at him and leaned in for a kiss.

He returned my kiss and reassured me, “I won’t forget this time. I promise. Cross my heart.”

“Okay,” I was satisfied. We talked a little more, he went into his house and I returned home.

And…

He forgot about me Saturday night.

Surprised?

Nope. Not any more. It seems I am very forgettable!

So…

Sunday I did the oil change and checked fluids on Breezy with Thing #1.

Here’s what *I* have to say about promises today:

Ha!

Ha!

Fucking!

Ha!

6 Comments »