Emotional vs Physical Intimacy: Interchangeable or Interdependent?

Emotional vs Physical Intimacy: Interchangeable or Interdependent?

Heart

One thing I noticed recently about my relationship with Mick is I don’t feel a compulsive need to be having sex with him all of the time we are together. In fact, my actual sexual libido is almost non-existent. I’m rarely horny any more. That could be because (when we’re together) he is touching me almost all the time and (when we’re apart) he never leaves me wondering if he actually likes me or not! We are honest and forthcoming with each other and communicate very regularly about uncomfortable things: his girlfriend and living arrangements, his tax situation (most recently), the fact that I will probably be roommates with Things #1 and #2 for quite some time yet… I expect we will continue to be transparent with each other, because that is our foundation.

Read more

The Last Couple of Weeks “with” Mr. R

The Last Couple of Weeks “with” Mr. R

(I think I may have waited a bit too long to write about this…)

The Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving, Mr. R took me out to dinner again. (Here’s our first date)

It wasn’t anything fancy. Just a burger and fries at Village Inn.

I was able to stay out late because I didn’t have to be home until 1:30am – Thursday was a work holiday for me, so I told Thing #1 I would drive her to work (and it was bloody cold!).

He had me home by my “curfew” and kissed me briefly before dropping me off.

Thanksgiving was nice (but that’s a different story with a different person and a different nice).

The next day (Friday afternoon), Mr. R asked if I would like to have dinner with him that evening.

Hmmm… I really enjoyed my Thanksgiving with Alaska…

But getting to know Mr. R is kinda challenging interesting.

We had a nice dinner. This time I picked the restaurant… He had a giant rib eye and I had fish tacos.

We talked about basic things: work and daily activities… He won’t talk to me about any of his family or any of his past, which means there isn’t much to talk about after catching up on current events. He told me about ice fishing and his new fish finder and how awesome it was; a couple funny stories about his friends and past adventures with them or by himself…

Read more

Telling the Ex

Telling the Ex

NotYouItsMe
It looks kind of like they’re choking each other, doesn’t it?

Living with my ex-husband…

I’ve been thinking: at some point in the near future, I am going to have to tell Doom-n-Gloom that I am going ou on a date or that I am interested in someone and seeing (fucking) them ‘on the regular’. Especially since I am spending more and more nights away from home: sometimes 2 nights at Alaska’s, and there’s Mr. R…  And every once in a while I am still swiping on Tinder (but not really meeting anyone – lots of chatting).

Read more

Chat

It Sucks I Have to Pretend You’re Dead

SickFuck

Well…

My divorce from Doom-n-Gloom is final.

According to the agreement, in order to avoid paying him support, he gets to live with me until our lease expires mid-September 2016.

But, I am single now and I could be yours if you would have me.

Read more

Quote

The Wisdom of Divorce by Ricki Lake

Divorce_RickiLake

This morning at 11AM Mountain Time, if all goes well the way it should, Doom-n-Gloom and I will be finalizing our divorce.

Maybe some of the distress I have been feeling recently is a part of this process and the “ending of an era”. I mean, Ricki’s quote up there really rings true for me.

Things just slowly faded and then, one day I looked up and all the color was gone.

Status

Smitten and Doom-n-Gloom Go to Court

divorce

Last Thursday morning was our initial status conference for the divorce.

I was anxious that, because Doom-n-Gloom doesn’t have a picture ID, we might have some problems. So ahead of time I talked with a court adviser who explained that the facilitator probably wouldn’t even ask for identification — but we should bring whatever he has just in case.

Read more

Moving Right Along

Moving Right Along

without

In the marriage-ending department things are going well.

I guess I expected a little more bitterness/strife/anxiety from Doom-n-Gloom. Even though he hasn’t changed any of his core behaviors that I cannot live with (eg: his complete inability to realize anyone else exists in this world besides himself, yada yada…), he is being more conversational and ‘friendly’ than usual.

Please don’t get me wrong here. I am NOT complaining!! But Doom-n-Gloom’s lack of ‘passion’ or any sort of feelings towards this divorce gets me to thinking: most men fight back in some way when their wives are divorcing them. In some distorted and perverted and immature way, doesn’t that mean the husband still cares for the relationship and/or wife and is sad/upset/hurt to be losing it/her?? Kind of like pre-separation anxiety?

Anyway, what I think I am trying to say here is:

  1. I am very relieved. Hopefully he stays in his denial holding pattern (if that’s what this is) until after the initial hearing in mid-August (at least).
  2. If he’s this apathetic about me leaving him, how much did he even care about me (and/or us) to begin with?

Truly, none of that really even matters because our marriage was broken long before I started this blog.

It just took me this long to figure out that I deserve to be with someone who cares about me, myself, my well-being and (along with me) endeavors to work on our relationship every single day we’re together – and even on the days when we’re not.

Quiet

Quiet

I am thankful to say that the reason I haven’t been writing is because I have nothing really to write about. Things are mostly quiet in my life.

Read more