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The Value of a Kiss

About a week ago, Alaska asked me to drive him to a client’s upcoming new home (or however you want to say it. I’m not a Realtor® and I don’t technically care about the technicality of it 😉 )…

… because the new home buyers wanted to take some measurements for some stuff they were moving in and other stuff they wanted to buy, yadda. yadda…

The thing about it was, we had already made a different type of plan to spend time together.

Have lunch, watch some cool stuff on the computer…

Other stuff… (I really like the other stuff!)

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Going Somewhere?

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Right now my ‘relationship’ isn’t going anywhere… Timeline-wise anyway…

And I am totally okay with that.

On the surface, I think that I am ready; I act like I am ready.

I want to be ready… I write about it here – how much I crave it…

Long-term relationship companionship…

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Saying “I Love You”

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Sometimes those three words are easy to say.

…to my daughters, my friends…

Other times, even thinking about their utterance is frightening.

I yearn to tell Alaska that I love him, but I don’t.

Is it fear of rejection?

I know he won’t reject me…

If he was going to reject me, it would have been long before now. Read more

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On: Making an Effort

Since our little ‘disagreement‘ a couple of weeks ago, I haven’t had much to say to Alaska.

He has called to check up on me a few times and my interaction with him has been minimal at best.

Also, I have been trying to stay busy so it’s easier to say, “No” to him when he wants to ‘hang out’.

It’s difficult to share pieces of myself and be vulnerable when I don’t feel I’m being appreciated.

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Sub Group

I decided to step outside my ‘box’ and try something a little different for a change. It is too comfortable in my little closed-off world and I need to start “BECOMING”.

Becoming what, I don’t have a clue, but I have been hating myself for long enough for no good reason.

THAT SHIT NEEDS TO CHANGE AND THE ONLY PERSON TO CHANGE ME IS ME!

So, this past Wednesday night, I attended a local monthly Submissive Group.

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