It’s Christmas.
You’re the only thing that I miss.
There’s no reason; I never meant anything to you; you never got me a gift.
Holidays were just a time for you to ignore me. Read the rest of this entry »
Freeing Myself
The love-bombing started right away
We started seeing each other near the end of October (4 years ago now…*sigh*)
Inviting me to holiday events with his family
Helping me to feel instantly important Read the rest of this entry »
The “Return” of Mr. Nice Guy
To be honest, like Alaska, he’s never really gone. He just lurks on the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment to reach out and let me know he’s still around.
Let us rewind for a moment:
Mr. Nice Guy and I used to work together – almost 5 years…
For a hot minute, in 2016, I thought we were going to be a “thing”, but it never really worked out or clicked or whatever. We had a few dates, each a little worse than the last
(the first one should have been an omen OMG!)
Whatever it was lasted a year. Read the rest of this entry »
Why I Stopped Writing
Shame is a powerful emotion
I dare say it’s as powerful an emotion as love
Both can be crippling
Don’t Be a Dick
I thought he was different than the dude who stole my car
Turns out he’s exactly the same
Signing me up for health insurance quotes and Magic Jack and time share condos and (apparently) my social security number is no longer valid…
I’m getting at least 5 calls a day
Too bad they’re recordings or I would try to sell them on my business
*sigh*
At least he didn’t steal my car…
My Psychotic Break (Part 2)
To read Part 1, click HERE
After all that bullshit, we didn’t have another interaction for 6 days.
And it’s the 5th week of barely any contact…
On that Friday afternoon, he sent me a text. “You won’t believe it, but I hyperextended my knee playing basketball last night.”
He was right. I didn’t believe it…
“Oh, that’s terrible,” I answered.
There were a few more trite comments where I tried to be nice and pretend like I gave a shit.
Then our chat was over.
He’s Gone
He’s gone. I shouldn’t be so sad anymore.
But I am.
He’s gone. I should feel relief instead of loneliness.
But I don’t.
He’s gone. I need reach out to others for support.
But I can’t.
He’s gone. I still hate myself for being so stupid.
But I’m not.
He’s gone. So, why am I still broken?
Because he never refilled my cup.
After drinking so selfishly from it…
My Psychotic Break (Part 1)
After I told all you folks that I was completely done with Alaska and never ever in a million years going to take him back,
I took him back.
I was so ashamed that I couldn’t write about it.
Just like all those other times before I stopped writing because of him.
Because I didn’t want to hear your objections.
Because you were right.
And at the end end of it all, I ultimately broke.
I’m Over It
Kink isn’t my thing.
I tried it and I like it.
But I am unable to find a compatible partner.
And I’m sick of trying.
It hurts too much.
Smitten with Him 