Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

My “New” Car

I’ve decided to name him “Lil Bear”. (I miss my big Bear SO MUCH!)

It took 4 weeks to figure it out, but that’s what I decided.

He’s a little ’99 Subaru Legend GT Sedan with 150,000 miles, rebuilt from salvage.

LilBear

I got a great deal!!

One of my dearest friends helped me until I found the perfect car.

There’s even a Minnesota bumper sticker on the back! When I saw that, I was sure Lil Bear was meant to be mine.

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Karma Payback

image from giphy.com

image from giphy.com

I used to give Loserman money like it was going out of style.

And the fact that Doon-n-Gloom is still living with me after we’re divorced also speaks to my generosity stupidity.

I don’t know if I was trying to buy their love or just being nice.

Probably a little bit of both.

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My Necklace

At long last, I received my necklace back from TC. Thank you, TC.

Is it a coincidence that it arrived on my birthday or do you think he planned it that way?

As you can see, it’s nothing much. It isn’t made of gold or silver or platinum and it doesn’t have any precious stones set into it.

It’s just a plain, ordinary necklace that I made for myself, then decided to hang in my wonderful truck, Bear. It hung there the entire time I had him (6 years).

When I had to get rid of Bear, I thought about moving it to my car, Breezy, but I wasn’t ready to see it hanging in front of my face every day: morning and night, reminding me of painful things too close to my heart. Instead I decided to give it to TC as a special “piece of me” that he would be able to keep close to him when I was far away.

Now that I have it back, I really don’t know what to do with it.

Now, it has even more negative energy and memories attached to it, and it used to be such a beautiful piece of myself.

Part of the band was mashed in a post office machine during the process of being mailed back and a few of the beads were disintegrated.

Maybe I can rebuild it and it will become more beautiful than before…

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Quiet

I am thankful to say that the reason I haven’t been writing is because I have nothing really to write about. Things are mostly quiet in my life.

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Saying Good-Bye

Bear is gone.

The tow truck came and took him away to the junk yard Saturday afternoon.

At least I can take solace in the fact that his parts will be sold to help other trucks, just like him, last longer for other people who love their trucks, just like me.

And he will get to travel and see things… Albeit in pieces…

I got $230.

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Return of the Ass Hat (aka: Loserman)

asshat

I have finally come to terms with the fact that my truck Bear is not going to get fixed. At least not while *I* still own him.

Originally Loserman was supposed to have Bear fixed by the end of February. That was the deadline I had set for him.

When he didn’t meet that deadline, he set one for himself: the end of March.

In fact, March appears to be the last time in here where I mentioned it or Loserman. (Infuriation? & Oops! I did it again)

There have been some interactions in-between that I almost told you about. One time he came over and showed me everything that he has done and exactly what he was and would be doing. I thought it went well. It seemed like he was really doing something.

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Infuriation?

Now, back to real life…

Loserman came over to work on Bear Saturday afternoon (actually in the middle of my writing ‘Aftercare…‘ It made it tough to come back and finish, that’s for sure 😉 ). The whole experience with him went better than I expected it to…

At first I wasn’t even going to bother him, but I needed to ask him a question about Breezy and the spark plugs and since he was right there I wouldn’t have to bother him with a text and have him not answer me…

Anyway… I’m in the process of trying to get over him and then Saturday I see him and he’s actually doing what he says he’s going to do; we get along and make jokes while we’re talking; he actually shaved and looked good before coming over this time… My stupid feelings for him want to come back. I start thinking that maybe we can make things work…

We can’t.

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Losing my Muse

I’ve been decimating old blog posts.

Discarding some so completely they no longer exist. Read the rest of this entry »

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Oops! I did it again…

It turns out I like this being-passive-aggressive-thing when dealing with Loserman

Loserman did NOT work on my truck, Bear, last weekend like he promised (but he did manage to move it to the other side of the parking lot – something he’s also supposed to be doing).

So, I called him Monday morning while I was driving to work.

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Sunday Night with Cevichito

(I have tried to write this post a bunch of times and I’m just not feeling it. I even drank half a bottle of wine Tuesday night hoping it would help. It didn’t. So, if my writing seems ‘off’ to you, that’s probably just because it is… Maybe I need to go back to reading smut…)

bamboo-divider-line

The evening went fairly well.

Not phenomenal or anything, but I didn’t expect it to.

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