Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

“Emotional Intelligence”

fuckyou

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

According to Psychology Today:
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include 3 skills:

1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others;

2. The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving;

3. The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.

Why am I telling you this? Read the rest of this entry »

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Things in General

I was hoping that I would get the replacement charger/power supply for my laptop before the weekend, but it looks like that isn’t going to happen 🙂 I did go to Best Buy last weekend to get one, though. It turns out that the chargers are 3-times more expensive there (or at Radio Shack) than through EBay *sigh*. So, I paid $11.99 instead of $37-$70 and I am now at the mercy of the seller and the USPS. If I’m lucky, I will get it Saturday.

Yesterday and today have been a little quieter at work. Which is really nice because I have been so busy lately that I have been making to-d0 lists and prioritizing things. Busy is nice, too, it’s just nice to have a break. (**PLUG** If you or someone you love is looking to buy or sell a house in Denver, let me know and I can hook you up with our website and one of our agents! 🙂 )

Sad EeyoreMr. Doom-n-Gloom has been his regular gloomy self. I would say that he is like Eeyore, but Eeyore is cute and endearing, Mr. Gloom is only dreary and gloomy. He wears it like a uniform — something that he puts on every single day when he leaves his hole of a bedroom. I would expect that he would be a little more happy because he got the test results from his most recent bloodwork and found out that his kidneys are now functioning at 42% — up 8% from three months ago. He was disappointed that I didn’t do a happy dance with him, but I wouldn’t be happy if my kidneys were only cleaning out my body at 42% effectiveness… Especially since his complete bodily neglect is what landed him in this predicament to begin with — still now he isn’t eating what he’s supposed to and he’s stopped exercising completely! I can be thankful to him, though, because he has really inspired me to lose weight and stop doing evil things to my body. I want to be around until my kids are sick of me and praying for me to die! I want to see Thing #1 and Thing #2 as adults. I want to see my grandkids grow up and become adults (if my girls have any). When I ask Mr. Gloom about these things, he just shrugs and says, “If I see them I see them.” He has already resigned himself to death-by-60 and, even though his father has broken the ‘curse‘, Mr. Gloom is perpetuating a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.

On another gloom note… Boss-lady stayed home today because of the weather, so that has given bitchy girl, my co-worker, carte blanche to do whatever she wants. She spent two hours from the second she got here at 9AM, arguing with different customer service reps about car loans and why they won’t give her one… I am guessing they really won’t give her one if she keeps talking to them the way she has been… A while ago, a full 135 minutes after she got here, she stormed out of the office and slammed the door. Honestly, I am completely over her professionalism drama. Every fucking time that boss-lady is gone, bitchy girl has a meltdown — I am just hoping this time that it doesn’t overflow on me. Just a sec, let me go close my door in case she gets any ideas of who to go after next…

Okay, now for a little bit of goodness (because that’s what really keeps me going)…
Loverman and I have been totally enjoying each other’s company and I have been completely reveling in it. The last 4 months have been filled with fairly consistent date nights and skate nights. As for the sk8venture that we’re taking this October, I am SO excited! We’ve talked about it a couple of times and I think I have convinced him to go to the Price is Right on the Monday before we leave. If he’s serious, I am going to find out more info 🙂 It would be SO COOL if we got picked.

Last week my truck, Bear, started acting totally crazy. He doesn’t want to go up hills any more. Just a couple of weeks ago he had so much torque… Maybe he’s just sick of driving us up the mountain every week for “date night”. It’s also been revving like crazy — it acts like the throttle is stuck open, but it isn’t. Oil has been leaking through the valve cover gasket and saturating the spark plugs and wires. So, Loverman cleaned out the cylinders, the spark plugs and the plug wires on Monday and that seemed to help a little — but, sadly, not as much as it has been. This summer, we’re going to take him apart again and rebuild the engine — we were going to do it last year, but Loverman hasn’t been able to finish up my car yet. Once my ’95 Plymouth Breeze is back up and running, it will be time to work on Bear. He needs it.

It’s going to be a cold and snowy weekend here in Denver. I am going to try and finish the book I’ve been reading: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.

And then, of course there’s the Super Bowl!!

GO BRONCOS!!!

Time to Ride

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Elway’s

I am so lucky, but so under-dressed.

Elways

This week the two other managing brokers for our little business are in town and my Boss-Lady wants to take them out for dinner tonight – to Elway’s restaurant in Cherry Creek! Along with them, she invited me, the bitchy girl that I work with and our Marketing “liaison” (for lack of a better word). Six of us will be in attendance 😉

I just finished looking through the menu to see if there was anything I would be comfortable ordering. There isn’t. There is a salmon entrĂ©e that might be yummy, or perhaps a salad… Maybe just cheesecake! A glass of wine will cost more than I normally spend on dinner for both me AND Loverman!

Don’t get me wrong, this is a wonderful invitation to somewhere I would NEVER be able to afford myself. I am so happy and so appreciative, but I sure wish I had known about it so, at the very least, I could have worn better shoes!!!

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Warm-Fuzzies?!? Is That What We’re Calling It Now?

I try so hard to get along with this crazy-ass bitch that I work with — I will call her bitchy girl. She’s downright steamy one minute and bitter cold with a hint of frost the next. One day she wants to hug me on the way out the door and the next day she won’t even tell me she’s leaving (or if she does, there is some backhanded comment to go along with it about how “sorry” she is to have bothered me)… Ugh! This girl has me at my wits’ end because she takes everything personally — even if a person is agreeing with what she said to begin with (or they’re just answering her question, like what happened to me yesterday).

Bitchy girl said, “I need your help writing this letter because the woman I am writing it to isn’t a very warm and fuzzy kind of girl and sometimes I think that I am a little too warm and fuzzy. I don’t want to come off too strong because I know that sometimes it can be overwhelming. You know how some personalities are compatible and some are not?” (Now that I look back at it, I swear it was a set-up!)

Yelling

Stupid me. I agreed. I said, ‘Yeah, I know how different personalities can clash at times. Sometimes too many warm-fuzzies can be especially off-putting when they’re coming from a stranger or someone you don’t know so well.”

She turned and glared at me. Then asked, “What the fuck do you mean by that!?”

Me: “Ummmm… I was just answering your question about clashing personalities?!?” (I wanted to add: “Like ours are right now… Boy, can I feel the warm-fuzzies just oozing out of your pores! ” But I didn’t!)

Bitchy girl: “So you think I’m a total bitch then? Thanks. Now I know how you really feel about me!”

I am not sure what my face looked like, but I’m sure it was something along the lines of horrifically appalled!

At this point I knew that there was nothing I could say to her in response (I have two teenage daughters, I completely recognize irrationality — see here). But, after a moment’s thought, I did say, “I am just in your office because you asked me for my help. You asked me a question and I responded. I apologize if you didn’t like the response. It wasn’t personal. I was just agreeing that sometimes personalities DO clash and it’s very difficult to know how to respond to (handle) overly-loving (over-emotional) people (*like you*). I am going to go back to my office now and when you’re ready for my help just give me a call and we’ll try again.” Then I left her office to get something I left on the printer and return to my office.

While I was standing in the printer room, I could hear bitchy girl mumbling something (at me or not, I don’t know/care. I didn’t hear the words and I wasn’t going to justify her crazy-ass-bitch ranting with a response). As I stepped out of the copy room to go back to my office she said, loudly and directed at me this time, “I’m sorry I’m too warm and fuzzy for you. I will try and work that out so it doesn’t bother you so much. Sorry I wasted so much of your valuable time.” (My boss’s office is just around the corner and she heard the whole thing — it happens that way every time! She’s sick of walking on eggshells around BF, too. If my boss wasn’t so cool and understanding, this girl would have been fired last October!)

It’s getting to the point where I am going to start printing my stuff to the printer on the opposite side of the office just so I don’t have to deal with her pathetic, attention-seeking antics and her mumbly, back-handed comments. I don’t come to work to be psychologically abused and emotionally tossed about; if I wanted that I would just hang around Thing #2 more 😉. Last week I actually sent my resume out to a couple of job prospects because I am getting sick of this walking bi-polar disorder attempting to impersonate a professional, mentally-competent co-worker/employee.

I refuse to play the “last word” game with her. I’ve even told her that before — no matter what evil shit she says to me when I’m walking away, I am NOT going to turn around and justify her insanity. If she wants to say something totally fucked up to me, I will just leave those hurtful (hateful) words hang in the air. No one needs to respond to that shit. It just starts an evil hate cycle of doom and we have to work together every day. So, no matter how mean she is to me, I will continue to (endeavor to) be the mature one. Not to mention that we are AT FUCKING WORK!!!! Can we say professionalism!?!?

One day she got angry with me because she wanted to fight (she picked one) and, every time she tried to start it up, all I would do was walk away saying, “I think we should wait and talk about this later after things have cooled off.” At one point, she followed me into my office, closed the door behind her and started ranting at me about my disrespectful behavior — totally disregarding the fact that she practically chased me into my office so she could attack me behind my closed door. I was cornered so, as a matter of course, I raised my voice at her and told her that I was not in a position to have this conversation right now and we needed to wait for tempers to cool. “Stop yelling at me!” was her response. She then stormed out of my office stating, “I can’t deal with this crap. I’m going home.” She slammed her own office door and stay locked in there for 2.5 hours!

Maybe later she will come into my office and apologize for being overly sensitive and saying such mean things, but she was hurt and angry <blah, blah, blah, more meaningless words, etc…>. I will (feign to) forgive her (again!!) but, the truth is, I am sick of her. I am sick of having to justify everything I say (even after I thought very carefully about how the words would sound) because she took it too personally (when I wasn’t even talking about her!!!!). I dread walking by her office every day for fear of the veiled questions (how does one respond without getting one’s head bitten off?!?!). Thank goodness I don’t need to ask her for help.

One thing that I have always maintained with my children is:

An apology denotes regret. If you regret doing something, why would you turn around and do it again? What’s the point of the apology?

I don’t want to hear bitchy girl apologize to me again for the same fucking thing, and I have told her that, too. “I don’t need an apology. I would just like it if we never had to have this conversation again.”

Is that warm and fuzzy enough?

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I wanted to be in a good mood, but then work happened…

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! I wanted to be in a good mood today. Most days I want to be in a good mood… My last post even suggests that I wanted to be in a good mood!

I’ve written one other post about this co-worker in the past. It was lame and boring and I was going to delete it, but I didn’t… Well, she is in rare form today, let me tell you…Bitchy Mystique

I have talked to my boss about this co-worker before and the things that she says and how she acts, so at least she is aware of the problem and that this is not the first time. Boss-lady agrees, but says that “right now ‘bitchy girl’ is going through a very difficult time in her personal life.” Does that really give her an excuse to behave like this at work 2-3 days a week? This is the letter that I just sent to my boss about my super-mega-bitch co-worker from hell!

‘Bitchy girl’ came into my office and started spewing at me about how I make her feel stupid all the time and how I am always condescending to her. This was after I jokingly said to her that sometimes *I* am uncomfortable around *her* (hopefully you are catching the irony here?) (our boss had just left her office and bitchy girl had just said that our boss makes her feel uncomfortable. I was only trying to be silly.).

When she came in and started spewing at me, right before your meeting now, she closed my door and asked me to tell her why I feel so uncomfortable around her. I told her that it’s situations exactly like this where she corners me and starts attacking me. She told me again how stupid I make her feel all the time (those words were stressed) and asked me again why I am so uncomfortable around her. I wanted to tell her that I feel like I am walking around pins and needles around her: one day I say something and it’s okay but the next day I could say the exact same thing and I am the worst, most evil person on the planet. I understand this behavior coming from my 15-year-old daughter, but I don’t think that I should have to figure out how to deal with this behavior when I am at work – I shouldn’t have to act like I am dealing with a 15-year-old. In fact, I honestly don’t think that I should always feel like I am walking on glass whenever I speak to a peer, especially at work.

I feel that any other confrontations that I have with ‘bitchy-girl’ today will only be negative and turn out badly. I would like remove myself from the situation so I can try and displace myself from the things she said to me. I have a very hard time working alongside someone who thinks I am always talking down to her and treating her like a moron. Especially when I make such an effort NOT to treat her that way!

Thank you for listening and I would give anything to get to go home, but I can’t
 So, I will try and behave.

But, this time I would like to officially go on the record and say that I have a severe problem with bitchy girl’s behavior.

I don’t have the hours to take the rest of the day off otherwise I would have just walked out while they were in their meeting (after sending the email to my boss); I checked before I wrote this. The hardest part about staying at work for the rest of the day is that Loverman has the day off and is waiting for me, in my neighborhood, to take me to lunch!! I could just leave for the rest of the day and be somewhere I want to be — somewhere with someone whom I do NOT make feel stupid and like a moron. Someone with whom I never feel uncomfortable.

(FYI – I am posting this out of spite and anger! She has no idea that I have a bog, but I feel like being severely passive aggressive — I almost left her name in it!)

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The Last Word

Bitch-626324_140x140My co-worker just screwed up really bad (not the one I keep writing about that works in Georgia — one that works right here in my office with me).  She made a blatant lack-of-communication error and stormed out of my office because she was frustrated. Telling me that I made her feel stupid. I said, “You can feel how you choose, I am just trying to resolve this miscommunication.”

As she was storming out 30 seconds afterwards to have a cigarette — I mean like a bitch in a serious FIT!!! — she stopped at my doorway to say, “Thank you. I am an adult and I can choose to feel however I want.” Then she left out the front office door, slamming it behind her. (Fuck! It’s Friday and she chooses to be completely and utterly miserable? Tossing it about like razor blades and poison? Gee, thanks! I had a really superb night last night and I am not going to let your stupid fucking bitchiness ruin my “glow”. So, THERE!!!)

I work in on the small side of a large office. There is only 3 of us, but on the other side of the open doorway, there’s almost 20 people working in cubes. And today, our boss is training in a new agent at this same time so I am sure the new guy is totally impressed with her butt-hurt-teenage-girl antics.

Why do people feel they need to have the last word when they’re angry? Do they think that it will make things better?

Why do people feel the need to spread their hatred like peanut butter on toast?

I used to think I felt better when I said some mean shit to someone and then walked away without them being able to retort. But, in the end, it made me feel worse for being such a horse’s ass.

(By the way — it’s 45 minutes after she took that cigarette break and she’s seriously still stomping around. And I am not kidding about the stomping either. I feel bad for the people below us.)

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