Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes



by CES CRU featuring Liz Suwandi

[Intro: Liz Suwandi]
Take off your blind fold
Tell me what you see
Interchanging doors
Not a corridor or screen
Your naked eye
Trapped inside a dream
Unveil your disguise
Because nothing’s what it seems

[Hook x2: Liz Suwandi]
You can tell me what you want
You can tell me what you need
But love is in the smoke
And we can’t even breathe
And I can not see you
And You can not see me
But love is in the smoke
And we can’t even breathe

[Verse 1: UBI]
You take everything you want, you take what you need
And me shattered into pieces is what you leave
It don’t matter what they see, no it just can’t be
Now our love is in the smoke, and I just can’t breathe
You got me gaspin’
I know when it will happen
Zappin’ all my energy, its sexual harassment
You see I’ll never be the same, now that we got close
Now my passion is for pain and I breathe hot smoke
Your love is like a drug, I wanna taste it
So slip it in my blood, I’m gonna take it
Addicted to your buzz, I’m wishin’ that you was mine
Sittin in your sunshine so amazin’
I’m baskin’ in the light
Light castin’ through the haze
Maybe we were meant to be
Maybe not, who could say
Now I look for you again
But I still can’t see
Cuz our love is in the smoke
Baby we can’t breathe


[Verse 2: Godemis]
I smell the smoke in the room
The room is’a buzzin’
She told me that the roof was on fire
I knew it wasn’t
Now the spot is heatin’ up
Gettin’ hotter under the collar
Let this motherfucker burn, shit
We don’t need any water
We can teeter and totter
But you don’t need to be coddled
I’m headed down this road alone
I don’t want you to follow
I’m sittin’ in the sun alone
Posted up in strangeland
Sippin’ KC teas, bumpin’ Kelvin rock and Raybans
Bitches think it’s all about the pussy and a spray tan
To each it’s own, if that completes your cypher, fuck it amen
It’s hot as hell out here
Maybe degrees over
She feels like she got burns
Maybe she needs closure
It feels like the pilot light is out in this bitch
I’m still in the kitchen, like really this is as hot as it gets?
I’m starin’ through the smoke, tryin’ to catch a last vision of her
The smoke’s rollin’ upward while the flame’s bein’ smothered

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Sk8cation: Sunday

Read about Friday, Saturday Morning and The Rest of Saturday

After Saturday’s skate party was over, our fellow Denver-ite skater friend, Maya, asked for a ride back to our hotel. She wanted to wait in the lobby for her ride back to town and I was happy to oblige. It was nice to have someone else to talk to after skating – someone who has been to one of these things before… The conversation was nice and I learned a lot about the Denver skate drama scene (one thing she told me made me very happy I hadn’t gone to a skate party the year before with a different girl. Whew!).

I had mentioned a few times near the end of the night that I wanted to take a bath – I could feel the soreness in my bones. So, we returned to the hotel and said “Good-bye” to Maya. I told Scorpio he could take the first shower – I didn’t want to get my dirtiness all over the shower before he had a chance to get clean (seriously, that’s how I said it). Also, I wanted to take my time lounging in the hot water. Maybe his germ-o-phobe ass would fall asleep before I crawled into bed like the night before.

He didn’t even suggest that we shower together, he just hopped in the shower and started…. We talked while he was cleaning off – he was telling me what a great time he had, how he had no idea how much fun it would really be and thanking me for “inviting” him! He was downright giddy!

Then, something strange happened. He finished up his shower, dried off and started running a bath for me. I was shocked and all I could think to say was, “Ummm… Thank you for running my bath?”

Read the rest of this entry »


Time for My Not-So-Annual Physical

15-Kaiser-Permanente-2013I hate going to the doctor, but I am getting older and I have an aluminum plate in my leg and I am recovering from a gosh-darn blood clot , so I scheduled a physical with my new HMO, Kaiser Permanente. My appointment is at 8:30 next Friday morning (8:30 on 8/30. Hmmm…).

I would like to take this opportunity to tell you that I am not at all happy with my new insurance provider and I hope that the experience gets more pleasant very quickly, because I am about to cancel my appointment and go doctor-less for another 5 years…

To begin, I had to get a new doctor because I have only been to specialists since I moved to the great state of Colorado: a neurologist for my seizures, a dentist for my (lack of) teeth, an internist for my blood clot and an Orthopedic surgeon for the plate in my ankle. Much to my chagrin, she insists that her new patients make their first appointment with one of her Physician’s Assistants. Now, I purposely selected this doctor because she was a woman and Indian (dot, not feather). I am not going to get either of those when I see the PA — my appointment for a physical is now with a white man (who isn’t even a fucking doctor!).

Second, when I made my appointment, I was told that I would have to go to the lab at least 3 days ahead of time to have the standard fasting blood tests run (blood glucose and cholesterol, no problem). I asked if I would be able to have other tests run so the PA could take a look at some of them as well — thyroid, hormones, sodium, etc… I was told that I needed to talk to the lab directly to order those tests, but it would be no problem. The reservationist took my information and told me that the lab would contact me shortly, which they did. When we spoke, the lab tech proceeded to tell me that the “doctor” will only check my blood sugar and cholesterol at my first visit and then only run more tests if he felt I needed them.

This is when I started to get a little bent out of shape. I told the lab technician that I have never been insured with an HMO before and I was starting to get a little frustrated with the bureaucracy. I then asked her, “Doesn’t it kind of defeat the purpose of my even making a ‘doctor’s’ appointment if my ‘doctor’ isn’t even going to check the things that I am worried about?!?!” (not to mention the fact that he isn’t even a doctor!!)

Lab Tech: “The ‘doctor’ can order more labs for you on the day of your appointment.”

Me: “Will those also be fasting blood tests?”

Lab Tech: “Yes. But your appointment is early enough in the morning that you can wait to eat until after your appointment if the ‘doctor’ orders more labs.” (stop calling him a freaking doctor already!)

Me: “My appointment is at 8:30 and I will have already fasted for 12 hours at that point. If I wait to eat, I won’t be eating until lunch. What if I actually have an issue with my blood sugar?” (I don’t. At this point, I was actually trying to be difficult because I didn’t want to be forced to wait until after 10 to eat my breakfast two days in one week!)

Lab Tech: “Then you will have to come in another day to have the blood taken.”

Me: “I actually have a job and there are no Kaiser office locations even remotely close to my home or to my work (truth!). This is really turning out to be more of an inconvenience than it’s worth and another reason WHY I wanted to have those other blood tests taken before my appointment!”

Lab Tech: “I guess I can make a note here to have the ‘doctor’ review your request and get back to you.”

Me: (I guess… Whatever…) “Thank you.”

NeedleThis morning, the “doctor’s” office called and left two of the exact same messages on my voice-mail within 5 minutes of each other!! (OMG – can we say, “Patience!”?) When I had a chance to call back (because, as you know, I have a job!) I had to wait on hold for 22 minutes for the receptionist to simply tell me that the “doctor” denied my requests for additional blood tests. I am clueless as to why they couldn’t just tell me that in my voice-mail — it’s not like they were very secret about it or anything, the receptionist was the one to give me the message.

I knew it was pointless so I didn’t say anything, but I am feeling very disenfranchised about my own health care.

Aren’t I the patient here? Am I justified in wanting to have those tests run before my appointment in case I need any prescriptions filled, further tests, etc?

That Physician’s Assistant better be HOT, HOT, HOT!!!!!