Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

The Kisser: Now I Remember…

Refreshers: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3

(Finally!! Right?!)

I arrived at The Kisser’s house and let myself in as instructed.

He stood up from his place on the couch, walked toward me and immediately began kissing the hell out of me.

Mmmmm! They was as good as I remembered!!

Unlike the first/last time, there was no small talk while we sat and got comfortable with each other – I don’t even know why he led me over to his couch! We only kissed there for a couple of moments before he said, “I’m gonna cum all over the living room before I even taste your pussy! Let’s go to the bedroom.”

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Giving Head

I enjoy sucking cock. Given that it is clean and well-trimmed, etc… (irrelevantly, Loserman’s was practically perfect).

Mr. X’s is quite lovely. I would like to have sucked it and kissed it and worshipped it all night long if he would let me.

But Mr. X is the first man who told me that I don’t do it ‘right’ (I haven’t sucked that many dicks, though…)

This is a really big deal to me because it is something I actually enjoy doing. (Hence the reason I am still obsessing about this weeks later.) I have read about it and watched videos and practiced…

I like to be slow and methodical… I use my hands and my mouth… I suck his balls and fondle pretty much everything…

I have dentures so, when my teeth are in, I’m afraid that I will hurt a man.

Plus, everything I have read/heard says “NO BITING!”

Then I watched a NSFW video that Mr. X sent me. It is a ‘training video’ on how to give a perfect blow job.

OMG! I can’t do that!!! Maybe a couple of those things…

I guess if Mr. X was expecting that, he should have been disappointed with me… *shrug*

But it makes me wonder: was I ever even good, or were they just waiting for me to get it over with?

I kind of wish I could ask Loserman. I was never able to make him cum with my mouth. Is it because I wasn’t doing it ‘right’?

StopGivingHead

It’s incredible how one small, relatively insignificant, criticism can cause me so much self-doubt.

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Crying Doesn’t Help

Maybe Loserman left me because my blow jobs only merit a 6.5

OR

Perhaps it’s because my kisses are too sloppy or give him a rash

Either way it doesn’t matter, right?

He’s gone and no matter how *I* feel, it doesn’t matter.

AnotherGirl

My ‘friends” have been trying to get me to cry about Loserman.

They say I need to feel those feelings

(My actual REAL friends, all TWO of them, haven’t said anything about it. When they found out Loserman was gone, they both just told me that they would be there for me if I wanted to talk. And that’s all they’ve said.)

Incidentally, I have cried about him every day since last Thursday.

It doesn’t help. Why does everyone tell me it will?

The last time I saw him  I told him that I missed him, and his response was, “I miss you guys, too.” WTF? Who are ‘you guys’? My kids?!?!

I’m nothing special to him.

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I Get to Meet Mr. X

Mr X

So, after our initial exchange, we continued e-mailing through the weekend.

Mr. X is quite the wordsmith!

I thought about sharing more of our written conversation with you here (and I might in protected posts), but I decided instead to respect his privacy and not post any more of his words here without his permission. Even though some of them are amazing and made my panties quite wet (still do when I read them!).

He also has a blog. It’s brand new. I would share it with you here, but I don’t think I am ready for him to “find” mine quite yet. Although I am not adverse to the thought… Getting to know me would sure be a lot easier that way!

We spoke briefly yesterday morning. He has a light southern accent (I love accents) and sounds a little like Chris Rock. I was nervous. He seemed nervous.

I told him that I had the perfect dress picked out for our first meeting. It’s one I haven’t had a chance to wear yet. Burgundy. Simple. Form-fitting. Just above my knees, so when I bend over barely a little inner thigh shows from behind. I also have a pair of some great high-heeled boots that help accentuate my curvy curves.

In one of my emails to him yesterday in regards to our phone call, I scared him a little:

There are some things I need to tell you but I am scared. There are some things I’d like to ask you but I am scared. Things we need to talk about in person — I like face-to-face communication when it comes to important things, there’s less room for misunderstanding (or phone static 😉 ). Please know that, when we talk, I want you to feel comfortable being honest with me about everything and I want to feel the same with you. I am sick of lies and all that bullshit.

I like to see a person’s face when I tell them I am missing almost all my teeth. It helps me to gauge whether or not a man is comfortable with it (or if he can be). I mean, obviously I don’t walk around toothless all the time, and it could be very pleasant for the man on the receiving side of a blow job, but it’s just easier when I can see them react.

In part of his response he said: (okay, I guess I will post a few more of his words here)

Don’t scare me!?!!? With lines like “need to tell me”.
What exactly do you “need” to tell me?
Any questions you have for me. Go ahead and type put the ones you think you would have difficulty directly saying to me. I will answer them when I see you in person.

This type of relation will test our communication. Also going into this type of situation we have the advantage of that we can be 100% open.

I know I have said it before, but the biggest thing I want you to know about me is that I am in no way a Dom. However I want to be one. I will be yours if you find me suitable to your needs.  I will listen, I will lead  and I will learn.

In the body of that email he also told me where and when to meet him for coffee – Tuesday at 1PM. Woo hoo!!

Then, against my better judgment, I decided to put it all out there. That way, when (if) we have coffee today, we won’t have to waste a bunch of time talking about it – or we can if he wants to. He’s totally in charge here. It also gives him an “out” in case my toothlessness is a problem.

There are 3 important things you should know about me that may or may not be scary

(big deep breath) Here goes…

  1. Before I moved to Colorado, I used meth for about 4 years. It messed me up a little. As a result, I have a seizure disorder and I’ve lost all but 8 of my teeth from the combination of the meth use and the seizures.  I wear dentures now, for the last 3 years. I am still getting used to it and it’s still hard for me to talk about. I am very ashamed of myself. I am afraid of being judged. Don’t worry about the meth! I moved out here to get away from it and I won’t be doing it again! I don’t like what it did to me in any way… I drink occasionally and I smoke weed sometimes for the seizures. However, since I had my teeth removed, I haven’t had a single seizure (I don’t know if it’s the pot or the fact that I got all those toxins out of my mouth) — incidentally, it’s much more fun to give a blow job now! I don’t worry about hurting anything 😉
  2. About a month ago, my ‘lover’ broke up with me. We were together for the last 5 years. I took the first couple of weeks to grieve the “relationship” and rationalize with myself why it was so toxic. I thought I loved him, but I didn’t. I don’t. I truly loved the idea of “us”. It hurt the most to know that I could so easily be tossed aside (especially since I’m SO fucking cool!) but, in that, I have learned a lot about myself and what I want, my desires and what I am willing to put up with. How I want to be treated. I am not looking to replace him, I am looking to find someone who can do all that stuff I told you about…
  3. I have a blog

I am so much more silly/fun in real life than I seem here… It’s strange re-reading my notes to you. Everything is so serious here. I can’t wait to just be free and fun around you! And see/make you smile.

 
My questions for you, you just mostly answered. They were not a lot. I was going to ask you about your wife/partner… The basic questions: how long have you been married? why are you looking for something ‘extracurricular’? I usually come up with questions as I go along. I am probably going to work it that way with you, too. Oh!… Are you particular to any type of music? I love mostly everything. I’m totally all over the place. Today at work I was listening to John Legend, Friday was Led Zeppelin, old school soul for my skate night…
I was afraid to check my email this morning, afraid that he would cancel.
His response was very short:
Just letting you know I got your mail. We will talk in depth later.
I don’t know if I am more or less nervous now!
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Trying Something a Little Different

 

I bared myself in front of him, all except for my panties

At first I wanted it to be all about him

If my panties were on, I was less tempted to jump on top of him too soon

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In Sickness…

EM_of_influenza_virusLast week both of my daughters stayed home sick from school and the husband was sick, too.

As of last Friday, I had not caught the bug yet, but I knew I would get it sooner than later. Not that I wanted to be sick and broken, but my apartment was swimming in germs and it’s nigh-impossible to sanitize everything. Not to mention that when the husband sneezes, gale force winds come shooting out of his lungs at such supersonic speed that it actually creates a sonic boom! And he does not have the common decency to cover his mouth. I am not exaggerating! I have heard his own father admonish him for it multiple times! In fact, when I ask him to cover his mouth he tells me that it hurts him! (I’m not asking him to hold it in, just to cover it up!)

So it happened… Saturday morning when I woke up I had a tickle in the back of my throat and some of those tell-tale sneezes. I knew it would be bad but I thought I could make it through my night with Loverman and be sick Sunday after I got home from our awesome night together.

As usual, I picked him up and we went to McDonald’s. Except this time we got the buy-a-McRib-meal-and-get-the-2nd-McRib-sandwich-free instead of our normal cheeseburgers. Then we checked into our lovely (Motel 6 — gotta love ’em) room and ate our bar-b-cue-y sandwiches and I rubbed out his kinky back until it was time to leave for skating. Of course the back rub involved that I undo his belt and then unbutton and unzip his pants (and lower them, just a little bit…) because I wanted to work out some of the lower back pain he was telling me he’d been having.

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When it was time to leave, I kissed him on the back of the neck, stood up and started putting on my jacket so we could go to the rink. While I’m doing this, Loverman looks at me curiously and asks, “What are you doing?”

ME: Ummmm… I’m getting ready to go?

LM: Are you sure? (eyes twinkling madly)

ME: Yep, looks like I’m sure. (I love teasing him…)

He stood up and walked over to me, put his arms around my shoulders and slid my jacket off of me onto what would end up being the “later” bed 😉 then spun me around so my back was against his chest so I was facing the “now” bed. Skillfully from behind, his fingers unbuttoned, unzipped and lowered my pants (just enough…) and then he tossed me onto the bed, face first, and had his way with me!

I still mostly had my pants on; my legs practically touching. There wasn’t much room for his swollen shaft, but I was so wet. So ready… I heard him, “Mm mm mm,” as he deliberately slid his thickness inside me. It was exquisite! Feeling his hard cock enter me from behind while I laid below him… That was all I needed for immediate release. I could hear him, “Yeah, baby, are you gonna cum again all over that dick?” as he was slowly gliding his stiffness into and out of me, waiting for my body to tell him that I would have another orgasm. He always knows right before I cum and his body, pressed hotly up against mine, was eagerly ready to respond to my next tremor of ecstasy. But he held back as my body began to quiver and shake again. Again he slowed his rhythm, and he began kissing my earlobes and whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I could sense the eagerness within him seconds before he exploded inside of me! His release plunged deeply into me. I felt his body arch above mine as he buried his face in the side of my neck. It was only moments before his body relaxed and he slumped onto me. For a few moments we laid there reveling in the afterglow. Oh…. That was nice. Him laying on top of me like a blanket… Even with our clothes still on I could get used to that feeling of closeness.

We pulled up our pants. I sorted out my hair. And we both got our jackets on this time. While I was hopping my way out to the car, Loverman walked past me and said, “Wait till I show you what the ‘later’ bed is for.” He made this sexy grunt that he does when he wants me, then he winked at me and opened up my car door to let me in.

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As you know from (if you read it) yesterday’s post, he had a lovely time skating and I enjoyed a little reunion with my buddies.

couple-sleeping-in-bedAfter he finished skating and everyone was done checking out my cool “owie”, we went back to our hotel room. I was completely beat. I guess he was too, because we both got each other undressed and climbed into bed. I curled up into a ball next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. As I was falling asleep I remember saying, “I really like sleeping with you, Baby” and his response, accompanied by a loving kiss on the forehead, was “I really like sleeping with you, too”.

But, it wasn’t long before I woke up again. Sick. Really sick. Coughing, nose running. I could feel that I had a temperature… The whole nine yards. I was up and down for the rest of the night — each time that I had to get out of bed, hoping that I wasn’t bothering my sexy Loverman.

Of course it was inevitable that I would wake him up, but when I did he was so sweet! He told me that I wasn’t bothering him and every time I crawled back into bed after that, he made sure that my body was exactly the right temperature. If I was laying there and I felt too warm, he would remove a cover. If it seemed like I was starting to get cold again, he covered me back up. I’m telling you, this man is totally awesome! I don’t know how I got so lucky! I even told him that a couple of times he was pampering me.

Because I was so restless, at about 7AM I decided to just get up and start doing my physical therapy. I could stretch and exercise my ankle in the chair and he could get some better sleep (well, about 30 minutes of it anyway 😉 ). I finished up and looked over at his naked back gloriously laid out on the bed, the thin white sheet just barely above his waist as if it was teasing me to look beneath it. I couldn’t resist his sexy peacefulness and returned to my place in the bed next to him.

I took a few strands of my long hair and, while he laid there in total serenity, I traced those few hairs up and down his back and arms just to see him squirm. He squirmed. I smiled. But he wasn’t awake yet. I knew that I could do this to him for quite a while without waking him up. He would just make pleasant sounds and shiver every now and again when I hit the exact right spot. After awakening all the flesh on his back (I could see the goosebumps! Oh, the power!!! This must be how he feels!) I whispered, “Roll over, sweetie.” He drowsily complied, but when he rolled over, that pesky sheet stayed right there, just barely in the way! Oh well, that will not be there for long, I thought.

Art AppreciationI proceeded to molest his chest the same way I had his back, but this time I got a reaction. Someone was waking up. Lucky me! I do so love to give him a good blow job! Especially in the morning! A man’s penis is like a work of art to me (if an ice cream cone was a work of art!) and I enjoy showing my lover how much I appreciate his art… Plus, I just recently picked up some tips on what I can do to better appreciate his art, and I was looking forward to seeing if he liked them.

Ohhhh…. He liked those new tips all right! Moaning and groaning all the way (go me!)! After a few skilled kisses on his tender frenulum, my tongue languidly drew a line down the length of his magnificent design. I lovingly massaged his rock hard dick with my right hand while I took each of his balls into my mouth to cradle them, one at a time. Acknowledging each of them and their glory, I could feel their skin tightening and loosening in my mouth. My left hand reached below and I began stroking his g-spot — something that I have severely neglected in the past because I didn’t know… My Loverman couldn’t keep quiet. I was so proud! I could tell he was holding back.

My Loverman is not a person to make much noise. When he does, it’s mostly just grunts. But what he does very well is talk dirty. I can’t do that (surprising, huh?), but what I can do is bring him to nigh-climax with everything except my pussy. Then slow down, start over, and do it all over again. However, I can only do that for so long before my body needs to feel him inside. And, with all of his moaning and squirming while I worshipped his artful cock, I definitely needed to feel him deep inside of me. I sat up with my back facing him and mounted him in the Reverse Cowgirl position and rode that horse for all it was worth!

This is my favorite position on top — especially when I’m sick (because, remember, he doesn’t like sharing sick germs, ewwww. So, NO KISSING! LOL!). He can penetrate me so deeply and I can control each thrust to make it deep, or tease the tip… He was back in his groove of dirty talk, “Baby, let me see you cum again,” smacking my ass more than ever before. He must have really enjoyed the art appreciation session earlier!

When he finally climaxed (and it was a big one!), I plopped myself down onto the bed next to him, completely satisfied, spent, sweaty and very, very thirsty! He dozed back off to sleep and the two of us cuddled together in post-coital bliss until it was time to take our shower and go home.

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Sick ManI didn’t actually get to see what the “later” bed was for. But I’m not really disappointed about it.
And I think that I will probably get to find out soon enough 😉

Ultimately, Loverman got sick too. Not even 12 hours after I dropped him off Sunday… I feel a bit guilty because I know that I am the one who made him sick, but at least my messing around with him on Saturday wasn’t what did it… I had already shared my germiness with him last Thursday evening when I surprised him at bowling.

All day yesterday I thought about how much I wish I could have gone home to Loverman and make him some warm chicken soup and crawl into a nice warm bed with him and watch whatever movie on his little computer that he wanted to. As it was, I am sure he was fine being left alone… After all, he is sick!

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