Foundations

Foundations
by Kate Nash

Thursday night,
everything’s fine,
Except you’ve got that look in your eyes,
when I’m telling a story
And you find it boring you’re thinking of something to say.
You’ll go along with and then drop it
And you humiliate me, in front of our friends.

Then I’ll use that voice what you find annoyin’
And say something like
“intelligent input darlin’ why don’t you just have another beer then?”

Then you call me a bitch and everyone we’re with will be embarrassed,
and I won’t give a shit.

[Chorus:]
My fingertips are holding onto the
cracks in our foundations,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can’t.
And everytime we fight I know it’s not right,
everytime that you’re upset and I smile
I know I should forget, but I can’t.

You said I must eat so many lemons,
’cause I am so bitter.
I said “I’d rather be with your friends mate,
’cause they are much fitter”

Yes it was childish
and you got aggressive
and I must admit that I was a bit scared,
but it gives me thrills to wind you up.

[Chorus]

Your face is pasty,
’cause you’ve gone and got so wasted,
what a surprise,
don’t want to look at your face,
’cause it’s making me sick.

You’ve gone and got sick on my trainers,
I only got these yesterday.
Oh my gosh, I cannot be bothered with this.

Well I’ll leave you there till the mornin’,
and I purposely won’t turn the heating on
and dear God, I hope I’m not stuck with this one.

[Chorus]

Boring…

I feel like I used to have a lot to say here and, as time goes on, it seems like I have less and less to tell you about. There are weeks where I think there are a lot of things to share and there are weeks when even *I* bore myself… Blogs are supposed to have structure, and I have tried that, but do journals require the same kind of structure?

I’m not boring in real life. Really. But you can’t always put everything from real life into words.

Is it because I have reached some kind of apex, wall, plateau, if you will?

I feel like my life is changing. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I think the parts that I want to share now are not necessarily the parts that you are waiting for me to write about (but I don’t want to start another blog. Been there, done that). I’m not entirely sure why I’m worried about it or even what I’m worried about… But now that I think of it, it has been a long time since I’ve written something sexy — and it isn’t because I haven’t been inspired, I just don’t feel the need to put it in words. Or maybe I can’t find the right words to use…

Recently I’ve been more focused on losing my pesky, squishy belly-fat and attempting to learn how to run outside (treadmill is a piece of cake). I’ve been counting calories and adding new exercises (lots of times unsuccessfully), adding new vitamins, trying desperately to add more protein to my diet (again, mostly unsuccessfully), dealing with peri-menopause, trying not to kill the roommate-husband (at least he stays out of my way — but still treats me like shit *sigh*). Basically, I’m lost in the the midst of changing into a middle-aged woman!

Menopause increases belly fat but no overall weight gain 😦

It might be more juicy interesting, but I don’t like talking about the husband here because I am trying to focus on the good things in my life. I am trying to look for things that uplift me; things that make me happy and bring me joy. Mr. Gloom-n-Doom is not (can you tell by the pseudonym?) one of those things. And it doesn’t matter anyway, he won’t exist in my world much longer; maybe another year. Tops… Then I will probably have plenty to share with you about his incompetence, rudeness and just plain ineptitude.

OR the Ongoing Adventures of Loverman and Mamacita will just get that much better!