Do You Miss Me?

Do You Miss Me?

Sometimes, when we don’t get to ‘reconnect’ for a while, do you ever miss me?

Yes, Mamacita, WE miss you.

I thought about what he said for only a second before I realized what he meant. I smiled at him and responded, “You always know the exact, right thing to say.”

And then I kissed him on the cheek, because he was driving.

Love this!


This Morning’s Wistful Text

This Morning’s Wistful Text

I’m safe at work and made it on time! I just want to say that it’s SO hard to leave you after having such a wonderfur time. I’ll be daydreaming of you!

I hope you have a good day and that you have a smile or two with Coconut when you think of us 😉

You’re gonna get it!

Loverman and I haven’t been getting to spend as much time together as normal. We’re doing well, communicating and all… I just forgot how much harder it is to leave him in the morning if I don’t know when our next “flesh time” will be.

At least we still have skating!

I am always thinking about you babe!

A Weekend in Texts

A Weekend in Texts

This weekend (as most weekends) Loverman and I didn’t “talk” at all, but we communicated all we needed to say in our very brief texts with each other.

Saturday Night Text

I send something like that every Saturday night after Thing #1 and I get done skating. Normally, he texts me back. The one time that he didn’t, it was because he lost his phone and had no way to contact me.

He didn’t text me back this time either, so I set my alarm to wake me up early Sunday morning when I knew he would be off work.

Sunday Morning Texts

Sunday night I went roller skating by myself and it felt a lot little lonely. It was my first time going to this rink and, in the end, I was very proud of myself for going alone! It turns out that it was a good thing; I knew more people there than I expected to and I had a TON of fun!! But it made me really miss my skating partner, especially during the slow-n-sexy couples’ songs.

When I sent these messages last night, Loverman didn’t know yet that I had just been skating. I didn’t want to bother him with a long conversation while he was at work and I really didn’t want to send that many texts. But I told him all about my awesome time skating when we were having our Monday-morning catch-up…

Sunday Night Texts

Have a Good Night, Baby

Have a Good Night, Baby

Hey, sexy security man! I missed you skating tonight. Vanilla misses Coconut too! We’re home safe and I got a rock star parking spot! Have a good night. Huggs!!

You are so funny! You have a wonderful night sleep and Coconut and I will thinking about you all tonight. Mmm…! Stay warm!

Mmm…! You too, baby!

Thinking of you I will. Have a good night baby.

Good Night Kitten by remidar on DeviantArt
Good Night Kitten
by remidar on DeviantArt
Fantasies, Part 2

Fantasies, Part 2

David Boreanaz is a pre-Loverman fantasy of mine.
I found this pic yesterday. Mmmmm!!!

You know, Loverman and I can talk to each other about almost anything. But, lately I find myself reverting back to my old pre-Colorado self — the me that is more reserved and afraid of what others are thinking; the me that doesn’t want to or know how to say what’s on her mind. On good days it’s just a slight uphill battle, but recently (like the past 6 months) I really seem to be sliding back to the old “ways”.

Even though we have a “date night” practically every week, I see that as our “sex night”, too. Loverman not so much… He has told me a few times in the past, that with us it’s not about sex and he likes that; he can just be with me or we can just be together and that’s all right. I don’t disagree, I just like having sex with him (A LOT!!!). And that’s what I told him last night.

I don’t want to be shallow, but the nights I spend with him are special nights because we don’t get to be together that often. Re-connecting with him on an intimate and sexual level does exactly that — reconnect us. It’s like when the seam on your pants starts coming loose and, the looser it gets, the easier it is to unravel the entire cuff. Does that make sense? When we’re intimate, it’s like mending the frayed edges… That’s important to me

Anyways… I didn’t tell Loverman about my security-/police-man fantasy. I totally intended to, but there didn’t seem to be a good time as I was “freaking out” and being totally unsexy. Our intimacy level has changed and I am a little worried that we’re getting to that comfortable place of complacence and apathy. That’s exactly what I am trying to avoid with Loverman and that’s why I was upset a little last night.

When our affair first started, neither of us was getting any attention from our spouses and we both needed someone to fill in that emptiness. It was like: he would get into the shower with his wife and she would say, “What are you doing in here? This is my shower.” With my husband, intimacy was always kind of an issue: there wasn’t any unless I initiated it. One day I stopped asking because it didn’t fulfill my need for intimacy and the sex wasn’t good enough for me to actually want to work that hard for it any more. Mr. Doom-n-Gloom hasn’t mentioned it once. It didn’t even phase him when I started permanently sleeping on the family room couch and eventually moved my dresser and all my things in there.

I think it was inevitable that Loverman and I would get more involved with each other than just sex (seriously, we have too many obscure things in common; like roller skating and going to the junk yard. Why wouldn’t our relationship evolve?!?!), but it never occurred to me that our level of comfort with each other would ever change our level of intimacy with each other. That’s the issue I was struggling with last night when I was laying next to him in bed, both of us naked. I was stroking his lovely and wonderful Coconut, trying to get some action going, and there was no sexual response from him. There was seriously nothing. So I asked him if I was doing something wrong.

T___Sunrise by Ludi Price on Deviantart
by Ludi Price on Deviantart

“Mamacita. You know how we talked before about how, with us, it’s not always about sex and that I am comfortable just laying next to you in bed and falling asleep?”

“Yes, baby, and if we got to spend more time together I would totally feel the same way. But, I really like having sex with you and I mostly never get to do it. It makes me feel better and re-connected. You help me re-charge my battery. And you feel sooooo good! Tonight I’ve tried several times (with kissing and the things I was doing to him in the shower…) and the stuff that usually works isn’t doing anything for you. Yesterday you told me that Coconut was up thinking about me all night. What happened? Are you getting sick of me?”

“No, Mama. I am just getting old.”

I called bullshit on him for the “old” comment, and we continued talking for a little while, with me getting progressively more upset (but not a complete freakazoid!) until he told me, “You know, this isn’t helping to get me in the mood. If you know what I’m saying.”

He wasn’t mean or condescending, just matter-of-fact and 100% right! It took a little while for me to stop the waterworks, but I did and the rest of the night went well. Eventually we even made love and, of course, it was beautiful. Maybe it was pity sex, or maybe it was because I talked to him about my feelings. It didn’t feel like pity sex…

Heart DividerTonight would normally be one of our skate nights (I am SO lucky I get to spend as much time with him as I do. I know there are many others out there who spend all too much time pining away for their lovers.), but it was cancelled because there weren’t enough people coming to open the rink. So, I am going to take him out for a decent dinner (not Elway’s or anything that fancy, though) where we can have a couple Margaritas and a nice burger or sandwich. I’ll try again and, hopefully, I will be able to find the right time (aka: muster up enough courage) to actually tell Loverman what I meant to tell him last night!

Related Posts:

The “Dry” Incident

The “Dry” Incident

Men — this is going to be a post about something ‘girlie’. Consider that your warning and stop here if you don’t want to be too grossed out — but maybe you should read to the end anyway, because I kind of have a question…


Last week I mentioned that there was a “bad part” to our date night last Tuesday. It’s feels silly to me, but I want to talk about it because I totally didn’t know how to react and I definitely reacted badly (I think I am more ready now for when it happens again).

I am going to be 42 next week (the perfect age: the meaning of life) and my mother keeps telling me that I am going to “get menopause” any time now. I think it’s adorable (not!) how she talks about it like it’s a horrible disease or something.

Apparently “early menopause” it runs in the family and she just wants to make sure that I am keeping with the trend (my mother and I aren’t close AT ALL so this would be the VERY LAST thing on the planet that I want to talk to her about — I just read that women don’t even talk about this with their doctors!). Anyway…

Loverman woke up next to me in the middle of the night last Tuesday and tried, very amorously, to wake me up as well. It took me a few minutes to realize what was happening and sadly, Vanilla was fast asleep and didn’t want to have anything to do with Coconut. *I* sure did, but Vanilla was totally dessicated and she wasn’t about to let anything (or anyone) change that! I started to get physically uncomfortable after about 10 minutes and after about 10 more I started getting very upset with myself. Eventually, I had to ask Loverman to stop. It was sad (I was sad)

I got so upset with myself, in fact, that I started crying and (felt like I) needed to leave the bed. Loverman didn’t take it personally and was beckoning to me to get back into bed with him so at least we could cuddle. At the time, I wanted no such thing.


For about 15 minutes I just sat in the chair across the room from the bed, sulking like a baby. Thoughts were spinning around in my head and I didn’t know which ones to listen to. I had just been woken up to something glorious and sexy, but my traitorous body had rejected it. I was so angry at Vanilla that all I could do was fight back the tears of failure.

I was completely upset with my hormones (or lack of). I felt betrayed by my own body!
I was thinking about how much of a let down I was (both to myself and to Loverman), knowing the entire time, that I wasn’t letting anyone down, it is just my body changing.
I was frustrated as hell that I wasn’t able to perform sexually for/with my partner and he was really into me that night.

But, it didn’t take long before I wanted to get back into the warm bed with Loverman and feel his strong, forgiving arms around me. I can’t believe how emotional I get about such uncontrollable things. I curled up next to him, with tears in my eyes. He had fallen back to sleep (see?!?!? It didn’t bother him at all! He didn’t take it personally…) and woke briefly when I crawled back into bed. “It’s okay, Mamacita. We can try again in the morning,” and he curled up behind me, drawing both his arms around me and he held me tightly in his arms as we both drifted back off to slumberland.

Is this how men feel when they can’t get it up?


Please Don’t Burst My Happy Bubble

Please Don’t Burst My Happy Bubble

Let’s try this again today because this morning started with some cute and sexy texts 🙂

Good morning, sweet Loverman. Mmm! We are safe at work. I’ll call you when I’m leaving here tonight (because we’re going roller skating!)

Thanks, Sweetness. Tell Vanilla she is going to get it! All night she had Coconut up and going!


She is not sorry. She is probably laughing in your underwear right now. You have a nice day, baby, and I will talk to you guys later.

Happy Thought Bubble

Fixed: And Then Some

Fixed: And Then Some

My deepest apologies. Let me say that I wanted to share all of this with you guys so much sooner than this (because I know that you hang on my every word, right?)! I am so excited about everything, but it’s a lot to say and I wanted to make sure that I remembered everything correctly (for yours and my sake). Also, I have two teenage girls that have a tendency to linger over my shoulder when I type a lot, asking “What are you typing?”, making it very difficult to type intrepid tales of my adventures with sexy Loverman! They also hog the wireless bandwidth so WordPress doesn’t load…

Small Flower Divider

Originally Loverman wasn’t going to go with me to my doctor’s appointment last Tuesday afternoon (3/26). He was going to rent a car for our trip and I was going to meet him after I was finished. That didn’t work out because of problems with his prepaid card. So, to save on gas and a lot of time, I went to go get him before my appointment instead. It made me exceptionally happy to know that Loverman would be there to see my last x-rays and to hear what the doctor had to say. My appointment went well! The x-rays (Exhibit A 🙂 — before and after) looked AWESOME!!! My doctor told me that I am completely healed! Yay!!!! I am done. I am proud. In 6-12 months the plate might start to work itself out. Then I will need to go back to him to get it removed. Once that happens, I will only be on “limited mobility” for about a month.

Before and After
Exhibit A 🙂

Loverman tells me I need to remember that I haven’t been using my leg like normal; that it was just recently broken very badly. The plan is to resume my normal lunch walks this week and next weekend we will discuss how I feel. If my ankle is okay after normal human exercise (and some Just Dance!), then maybe I’ll be able to convince Loverman to take me skating for a little while next Sunday.

I know he’s afraid for me. He doesn’t want me to do too much too soon and be right back in the orthopedist’s office. I’m scared, too.

That news was a wonderful note on which to start our two-day extravaganza… I was probably glowing and we hadn’t even done anything yet! ;0

The drive up the mountain took much less time than I had anticipated. If we had gone the way that Mapquest told us, it would have taken at least 45 more minutes! We checked in to our cute little cabin-hotel at about 6PM, grabbed a couple of movies from the DVD library in the lobby and went to our room. It was lovely! There was a mini-kitchen, a hut tub and a king-sized bed… And Loverman…

We drove downtown to the expensive local grocery store, past a couple of really neat landmarks, where we got microwavable food for our next few meals together and returned to our “apartment” to watch our movies and enjoy each others’ company.

During our first night together: we ate frozen lasagna and shared a bottle of very nice red wine, watched Salt while I lay in his arms on the couch, I managed to extinguish the pilot light in the gas fireplace and Loverman re-lit it, and we fell asleep together without having sex (at least he did). Just like a normal, comfortable couple.

I was totally content to lay there in our giant bed, head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. But I could not fall asleep. And when I can’t fall asleep my legs start to twitch and then I start to worry about waking up my sweet Loverman. Which, eventually, is what I did. “What’s up, Baby?” he asked through his dreamy sleep cloud.

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” I leaned over his face and kissed him sweetly, “I can’t fall asleep.” He raised his lips to mine, returned my kiss and muttered, “Well, I’m up now. Mmmmm…..” His fingers delicately traced up my backbone from their resting place in the small of my back to the edge of my hairline, fingertips weaving into the tiny hairs at the back of my neck. His magical touch conjuring goose-flesh over my entire body and a warm surge of arousal between my legs.

He shifted his body underneath mine in such a way that, in order to remain comfortable, I would have to roll directly on top of him. My hips shifted onto his and I could feel his strong erection beneath my throbbing mound. One of his hands slowly found its way down to my hip and the other to his stiff cock. He held on to the base while he stroked the head against my tender, swollen sweet spot until I heard myself saying, “Don’t you want to be all the way inside me?”

“Oh, Baby, you don’t even know.” But he kept hold of his erection and began to poke the head in and out and in and out until I couldn’t take the teasing any longer. I lowered my hand to his wrist and pulled his hand away, pleading with him to be entirely inside of me; all of him and all of me.

All of one.

His hips thrust up into mine. I ground my pelvis into his. My body convulsed as my first orgasm overtook me. It never takes long for the first. I heard Loverman groan, “Oh yeah, girl, cum all over that dick. You gonna cum again?” His hips began to gyrate under mine while my back was arched in the throes of ecstasy…

Wednesday Morning
Wednesday Morning

I woke the next morning to a lovely surprise under the sheets and used that surprise to help me wake up Mr. Sleepyhead. I tried not to move the bed too much as I wormed myself under the covers to give Coconut his good morning kiss.

He was happy to see me! From up above me Loverman mumbled, “Well, good morning to you, too, sweetness!” I continued the oral appreciation until quite some time later (he has such a fine cock, I could appreciate that pleasure all day long!), I crawled out from my sheet-tent and resumed my position from the night before…

Eventually, we left the bedroom to take a shower, eat our breakfast and watch another movie — Good Morning, Vietnam. (I insisted we get it when Loverman told me that he’d never even heard of it. I know that we grew up in different parts of the country, but he’s only 2.5 years older than me and he loves Robin Williams!)! Once that movie was finished we walked back to the front office to return the two we had watched.

It was a lovely day so we took the long way walking back to our room. The sun was shining and the air smelled spring-fresh. I climbed (not really, it wasn’t very steep and I went very slowly — Loverman isn’t ready to let me climb yet) up a few rocks and sat down with my face up to the sun. He joined me and we started talking, mostly him and mostly just stuff that he normally doesn’t get to talk about.

I love to listen to him. I don’t have much to say most of the time that we’re together, but I always have questions about what’s going on with him.

Loverman put in the last movie when we got back. We watched The Italian Job, we drank a bottle of sparkling Moscato, I ate some Cheetos and fancy chocolates and then we changed the TV over to I Robot.

While I was watching Will Smith, Loverman laid his head down on my lap. He is always telling me how I can put him to sleep just by rubbing his scalp (I’m sure that the half-bottle of wine helped a little). I know that it relaxes him and, recently, he has been spending way too much time stressing out about things beyond his control. (I guess it’s my turn now to take care of my sexy Loverman for a little while.) For the entire movie I massaged his scalp with my fingers while he slumbered on my lap. It was heavenly! I mouthed the words, “I love you” to him over and over again. The one time I whispered, “My beautiful baby,” he stirred and mumbled back to me. I caressed him back to sleep, but the rest of my words to him were silent until he woke again; at which point it was time for dinner.

I could hear his stomach rumbling under the blankets “Feed me!” so I warmed up our lasagna leftovers, took my veggies out of the fridge and cracked the last bottle of Moscato. We had another lovely dinner, cuddling on the couch, watching Anger Management. When it was finally time for us to go to bed I could hardly believe how fast the day had swept by. It would only be a relative few hours before we would have to return to our other lives.

I tried so hard to make the moments last but, no matter how hard I try to hold on to them, they are fleeting to me.

I lay there in the gigantic bed, watching him get undressed. Watching his glowing, naked body walk out to the living room and back. I drew back the covers on his side of the bed, my eyes savoring his delicious flesh as he climbed in next to me. I tried not to think about tomorrow and “normal”, and I spooned my warm self into his sexyness. We made love that way. Both of us on our sides with my arms swaddled within the warmth and protection of his. His body and mine melting into each other. We fell asleep tangled together. Again I slept like crap. But this time it was Loverman’s fault 😉 He kept waking me up!!

Thursday Morning
Thursday Morning

The next morning we both woke up at almost the same time. I rolled over onto my stomach and was stretching out my back when I felt the palm of Loverman’s warm hand come to rest in the small of my back. He rubbed that spot out a little. “Are you sore, sweetness?” he asked. I wiggled my butt to him in silent response and I heard him giggle, “You’re so cute” right before he smacked my naked ass twice. Really hard! “That’s for keeping Coconut up all night!” he scolded. Then, he climbed up onto that freshly-reddened ass, smacked it again “twice more for good measure” and let Coconut gently poke his way through my bush to the eager and moist oasis waiting inside of me.

He lowered his entire body onto mine and, again, I could feel our bodies evanesce as we moved together in perfect rhythm; embodied outside of ourselves, wholly together with each other. Orgasms shook me underneath him again and again as he pleasured me in all the ways he is so very good. His final climax came. He thrust himself deep inside while my hips rose up to meet his. For that moment of time, we were frozen together in utter ecstasy. His body collapsed onto mine and I could feel the sweat dancing between our two spent selves.

The hot tub in the bathroom must have been calling to him… For me, just the thought of putting any weight on my legs was making my head spin, but he got right up out of that bed and started running water in the tub. Hot water. Once the tub was filled and the jets were on, Loverman came back to retrieve me from the bed, laughing to himself the entire time — proud as hell, I’m sure!

When I first stepped off the bed, I could feel my legs buckle under me. I was glad that he was there to hold me up. Still grinning to himself, he helped me into the hot tub (which was way too hot for me, oooohh-weee!!!) and we stayed in there until I couldn’t handle the heat any more.

It was so nice to feel the cool air on my skin after getting out of that boiling hot water, but my muscles were so relaxed I could barely walk. Again, my sweet Loverman held me up (giggling again because he wore me out!) and led me to the couch where he sat me down, covered me up with the plush blanket and walked his naked self over to make us breakfast. We had Biscuits with Egg & Sausage while something pointless played on the TV — I don’t know, my brain had turned to mush…

I could feel my muscles coming back to me and the food had filled my belly a little, but I was thirsty as hell. At this point I was able to get up from the couch, so I managed to walk over to the sink and pour a glass of water. It didn’t take long before that glass was gone and I was filling another. “Damn, girl!” Loverman said, glowing with pride, “I sure know how to wear you out!”

We got dressed in a frenzy while be tried to get all of our stuff together. Checkout was at 11 and we were only a few minutes late (we’re always about 15 minutes late 😉 ). Loverman drove us into town to “get Mamacita some ice cream” he said. We did exactly that (expensive but nothing special).

On the way back to our “normal lives” there was a mall walk, we kissed, I had some sushi, he had some pizza, we held hands, several people came up to us and tried to sell us something, we declined, we kissed some more, and then I had to drop him off at home… While we were walking around talking, I mentioned that I thought the time had gone too fast, that I wish it we had longer. His response was, “It did go really fast, but I had the perfect time with you and I wouldn’t change anything.”