Usually, when The Universe communicates with me it’s quite obvious.
Sometimes I listen.
Most times I don’t 😦
I’ve ignored the signs enough that, now, I don’t even know if I can recognize them.
Also, my life has been rather chaotic since I ended things with Jim/”Mick”
Wow! I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve written about work. Probably because, well, it sucks…
The crazy girl I work with is still here. However, her mother’s best friend is no longer our boss. Thank The Universe – Boss Lady quit at the end of January.
My new boss is cool and he really appreciates me. He involves me in financial discussions and asks for my opinion on money matters; very much unlike Boss Lady, he helps me feel relevant and appreciated. He also has serious issues with crazy girl.
Most of the problem is: crazy girl hasn’t had a “real” job since she was 21, when she worked at a Virgin Records store. After that she went to work for her father as his receptionist, where she was allowed to act like a spoiled-brat princess because he treated her like a spoiled-brat princess – for over 10 years.
Any other time she needed a job, she worked for her mother’s best friend, Boss Lady, either at a different job or here.
This crazy girl is 35 fucking years old and STILL acts like a 7 year old spoiled brat (without going into further details of her antics); like it’s perfectly acceptable behavior. Since February, she has “quit” twice, but never once even left the office afterward! She just continued on with her “work” as if nothing ever happened…
Last weekend I stepped out on Mick.
Things with him have been driving me batty. I felt like I needed a break in perspective (whatever that means).
So, Wednesday I turned my Tinder profile back on, changed my distance settings from 10 miles to 50 and started swiping (left mostly).
As (bad) luck would have it, I matched with someone whose profile seemed pretty awesome. Especially the fact that it stated he was moving to Steamboat Springs (3 hours away) at the beginning of June. (He currently lives almost 40 minutes from my house so, even if he wasn’t moving, that in itself would be enough reason for me not to want to get too involved.)
Perfect! Something fun and very temporary.
Whatever… That’s not how it turned out.
I sent him a note and waited to see if he would respond. Within 24 hours he did:
OK great… I’m moving to Steamboat Springs and Tinder finally lights up.
After I got back from skating Sunday night, I sat down and wrote the following email to Mick.
Good morning, Sunshine! (I hope you’re sleeping when I send this!)
I’m home from skating, fed and ready for bed.
As funny as this might sound, I’m kinda glad we don’t have more time together. There’s a few reasons, but I think that one of the biggest ones is – I don’t want us to get sick of each other too early. I also like you very much and I don’t want anything bad to happen that might end what we’ve started before it really gets going, because I also really enjoy hanging with you. I’m worried that today might have jeopardized our time together…
I’m glad I tire you out in such a pleasant way and can provide you with a fun diversion. I have an idea for something that will make good and different marks 😉 Practice makes perfect and I like the ropes… Next time I will stretch first. Hahahaha….
See you in your kinkiest dreams
Well, so much for all that…
It turns out that the guy who contacted me through FetLife last week was a total horsefly (just like the other FetLife wanna-be’s: Rock Star and the other creep)…
… so much of a horsefly that I completely deleted my FetLife account.
All of the time I suspect that things are not what they seem…
…everything has a different meaning…
No one truly means what they’re saying… (I’m getting much better at this one)
Part of that is conditioning I received from my parents (mostly father). And, although I am not blaming them, I have a really tough time changing those conditioned parts of myself.
At long last, I received my necklace back from TC. Thank you, TC.
Is it a coincidence that it arrived on my birthday or do you think he planned it that way?
As you can see, it’s nothing much. It isn’t made of gold or silver or platinum and it doesn’t have any precious stones set into it.
It’s just a plain, ordinary necklace that I made for myself, then decided to hang in my wonderful truck, Bear. It hung there the entire time I had him (6 years).
When I had to get rid of Bear, I thought about moving it to my car, Breezy, but I wasn’t ready to see it hanging in front of my face every day: morning and night, reminding me of painful things too close to my heart. Instead I decided to give it to TC as a special “piece of me” that he would be able to keep close to him when I was far away.
Now that I have it back, I really don’t know what to do with it.
Now, it has even more negative energy and memories attached to it, and it used to be such a beautiful piece of myself.
Part of the band was mashed in a post office machine during the process of being mailed back and a few of the beads were disintegrated.
Maybe I can rebuild it and it will become more beautiful than before…
So, a couple of hours after I published my last post, where I said
“…If he wants to talk to me, he can reach out to me.
I don’t feel like chasing him down this time.”
I posted this on Facebook:
Loverman called me 10 minutes after that went up! No shit! He told me that his smart phone has been “acting-a-nut” the last couple of days (his new phone IS fucked up all the time) and he hasn’t gotten any of my texts, he can’t check his email and he can’t get on the internet. He said that he was calling me to make sure that I didn’t freak out like last time.
Coincidence? Or did he see my status and think about it for 10 minutes? Either way, I think the effort was sweet.
Maybe I really am a dumbass, but I think it was actually a sincere coincidence. We had a decent conversation – I was quite irritated at the beginning, but I chilled.
I do want to tell you that I am still backing off a bit from Loverman. Things are not all better. We have not kissed and made up.
I still went on my date with Mr. AM last night.
Stay tuned for the fun details!