Working through my ‘new’ allergies (or whatever-the-fuck-they-are) has made things a bit more challenging than I would prefer.
I guess it serves me right for all those times I thought someone was faking their food allergy.
And trying to keep my drinking in check is barely working at all 😦
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I decided to step outside my ‘box’ and try something a little different for a change. It is too comfortable in my little closed-off world and I need to start “BECOMING”.
Becoming what, I don’t have a clue, but I have been hating myself for long enough for no good reason.
So, this past Wednesday night, I attended a local monthly Submissive Group.
I took a short grief quiz online a couple of weeks ago because this Loserman thing was making me nuts! I wish I could just throw the lovey-dovey, mushy-gushy feelings away — or possibly donate them to someone who needs them more than I do… But, today I feel closer to being over it than I did when I took that quiz. So, that’s something, right?
Anyway. I ramble…
The results of the quiz stated that I could be suffering from “complicated grief”.
I thought, WTF? Isn’t ALL grief complicated?
Mr. X broke up with me last night.
But he told me he still wants to be friends *sigh*
Sure, whatever…
It hurts so much.
I shared more of myself with him than I have ever shared with anyone.
Even you guys.
I haven’t shared most of what happened between Mr. X and I with you all.
Regardless, I got quite attached to him as a result of transference.
Then he rejected me.
At least he had the decency to tell me.
I guess.
At least he wasn’t like Loserman – Mr. X had the courage to tell me it’s ‘over’.
To my face.
At this point I’ll take my lumps over in the corner…
Alone…
Smitten with Him 