I hope you are well.
Missing you at the moment because we spent so much sexy time together and I could use a little right now…. My weekends have been desolate now that you’re gone.
Anyway, I do not expect or hope that you will reply. This is purely an email I need to write for catharsis because my Daddy is gone and I don’t have someone to talk to…
I quit my “real” job… My last day was yesterday. It feels good because, as you may remember, I felt that they were bullying me. Well, it turns out that they got stuff done by being mean – not something I like. I am less scared than I thought which is surprising as everything scares me any more. And now I am finding that I need validation – someone to tell me I did the right thing…
Good night, Mr. Mentor. I am grateful to you for the tools that you have given me. Be well, warm and safe. I hope you’ve found someone who makes you happier than I ever could. Your happiness is important to me.
To read Part 1, click HERE
After all that bullshit, we didn’t have another interaction for 6 days.
And it’s the 5th week of barely any contact…
On that Friday afternoon, he sent me a text. “You won’t believe it, but I hyperextended my knee playing basketball last night.”
He was right. I didn’t believe it…
“Oh, that’s terrible,” I answered.
There were a few more trite comments where I tried to be nice and pretend like I gave a shit.
Then our chat was over.
This is a comment a friend of mine made.
It upset me more than I can explain or understand…
It was strange how I reacted so strongly to a simple, ignorant statement.
For some reason I felt the need to educate her in a gentle and friendly way.
I thought for quite a while on what I wanted to say.
My comment was very basic. I just wanted her to open her eyes a tiny bit. It wasn’t important to me that she understand the concept entirely.
It’s kind of like a pet name. Like Baby or Sweetheart or Honey.
Mid-December I broke up with Alaska via video:
It lasted all of 2 weeks
I took him back because he agreed with what I said
And told me he would start trying harder
About a week ago, Alaska asked me to drive him to a client’s upcoming new home (or however you want to say it. I’m not a Realtor® and I don’t technically care about the technicality of it 😉 )…
… because the new home buyers wanted to take some measurements for some stuff they were moving in and other stuff they wanted to buy, yadda. yadda…
The thing about it was, we had already made a different type of plan to spend time together.
Have lunch, watch some cool stuff on the computer…
Other stuff… (I really like the other stuff!)
Monday night I finally decided to talk to Alaska about his lack of respect for my time and money.
It started with, “Get me a beer.”
As I walked to the kitchen to get a new beer that *I* had paid for (since he drank the rest of my last 6-pack – that I paid for…), I grumbled, “You know, just a little appreciation and thanks goes a long way.”
“What’s that?” He asked.
I repeated myself.
Last week Dreamboat PM’d me on Facebook to invite me to a costume party.
It’s an Egyptian Steampunk Costume Party.
Sounds fun, right?
As you may or may not know, I am not a social events type of girl – especially if I don’t know anyone there and I don’t arrive at the choice to go there on my own.
That latter bit is something I just learned about myself. Maybe it seems dumb that I didn’t see that before now, but I am stubborn. If I feel any pressure at all to do something I don’t want to do, I then want to do it even less.
Recently I have been forcing myself to get out and do those different things, but they are events and environments and times of my choosing. That way I can feel a little more in control of the situation… and I can leave whenever I want.
It seemed as though Alaska may have missed me while I was away last weekend. However, this time he actually remembered I would be gone.
I actually shared my google calendar with him after he’d forgotten numerous times that I would be away for something or other… When he asked me why, I told him that was the reason.
The first time he called or even attempted contact was Sunday morning while my crew and I were getting ready to return home. He even made a joke!
“We’re on our way out right now,” I said. “Would you like me to call you when I get back into town?”
He snickered a little and said, “No! I do not want you to call me when you get home!” Then we both busted out in laughter. It’s a rare occasion that he plays around like that, if at all.
“Okay. It will be after 3 before I call. Have a good morning,” I replied and ended our call.
I’m doing a work project for Alaska right now…