Tsunami Preparedness Week

The real estate brokerage where I work has 3 offices: Denver, Atlanta and Honolulu.

As you may or may not know (I am leaning on the not knowing), this week is Tsunami Preparedness Week.

Last Friday our marketing department made a mistake and scheduled the Honolulu Facebook post for the Denver office.


I still can’t stop laughing!

All This Chickening Out is Making Me Gun-Shy

All This Chickening Out is Making Me Gun-Shy


I have a feeling that some of you are going to scold me for what I am about to say, but here goes anyway.

Now that I have my awesome smart phone, I opened a profile on Tinder. Don’t worry though, nothing has really happened yet.

I find it quite amusing.

And equally frustrating.


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My First Day In Houston

My First Day In Houston

I had a big, long debate in my head whether I wanted to be verbose or just sum up my trip. There is going to be some of both, I think, and not nearly as much of the sexy bits as I might normally write, but we’ll see what happens…

TravelThe Denver airport was nerve-wracking!

  1. I thought that, at 4AM, there wouldn’t be so many people. The wait line was already an hour long. I have learned my lesson for next time.
  2. I was patted down by security for a metal object in my left back pocket. (I didn’t have a pocket in my sweatpants. I was wearing garter panties, but there was no metal in them… Later TC suggested maybe it was the plate in my ankle and they were reading it wrong…???)
  3. Security had to go through my bag right after that because the denture cleaner I brought set off their “alert” (powdered bleach… Again, now I know.)
  4. I was flying Southwest and had managed to get into the “A” boarding group. Yay! But, by the time I finally finished getting through security, my flight had already started boarding… *sigh*

Even so, I made it right as they started boarding the “B” group, so I got my window seat! I wasn’t particularly fond of the couple who sat next to me, but they didn’t smell… She just kept rubbing up and down my arm while she was playing video poker on her phone. That was all. Like for most of the 2 hour flight… But I got a window seat 😀

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Being a Mom: Finances and Fatherhood

Being a Mom: Finances and Fatherhood


Last Thursday evening, Thing #2 and I got into a lovely row.

It started with her defending Doom-n-Gloom. For the first few minutes it was mostly civil: I have no problem with her standing up for her father, when she’s being reasonable.

I remember how I used to get when I was 17: entitled, presumptuous, a total know-it-all…

She was being all of that.

Then she said, “You’re taking an unreasonable amount of money from Dad every month. He can’t save money for anything.”

I stood up and looked her directly in the eye and said, “Your father pays me $200 a month and buys 80% of our groceries. He reimburses me for the $3,000+ in expenses it takes for me to maintain this household. Don’t tell me how I am being when you have no idea.”

“But I don’t know what’s going on, Mom. You never tell me how much you make or how much the bills are.”

“That’s because it’s none of your business and, if you wanted to know, this is not the way to ask. Please don’t assume that I am being the ‘bad guy’ here.” Then I got out the financial statements that we have prepared showing our individual incomes and our expenses. (To be honest, when I filled mine out, I was actually blown away at the amount I pay as opposed to the amount that he does. But, he carries their insurance… And I am divorcing him…)

I handed those financial statements to her and told her to look them over. When she refused, I sat down with her and I went over every single item I pay for and how much it actually costs me. Then his. It blew her mind. It blew my mind. So much that I was totally on the verge of breaking…

Which is what happened when Thing #2 brought up how Thing #1 treats their father/Doom-n-Gloom. At first, I explained as calmly as I could that it is IN FACT her father’s responsibility to treat both of his daughter’s civilly and with respect. I am a stickler for fairness between the two when it comes to my children.

Thing #2 was telling me that I didn’t know what I was talking about. That Thing #1 needs to be nicer to her father and I have to stop making excuses for her all the time.

I completely lost it. I was already angry, but that presumptuous child had no place telling me how an daughter/father relationship dynamic should work. I don’t talk about it much on my blog, but my father doesn’t talk to me unless he absolutely has to. Period. He will never make initial contact. My mother is the tie that binds. My brother is cool but busy trying to keep up with his best friends ↓

Here’s an example of how my father feels about me:

My mother had a heart attack 6 years ago, 2 years after we moved to Denver. My brother called to tell me Mom was in the hospital.

He also told me what Dad had said to him earlier that day:

Don’t bother calling your sister to tell her. She doesn’t care anyway.

My brother might be a fake Christian and a wanna be, but he doesn’t lie and he’s not intentionally cruel like my father.

I was grateful he told me.

Back to present time… There was a lot of yelling after this. Doom-n-Gloom finally came in and changed the subject back to the original: money.

He explained to Thing #2 that he doesn’t have a problem with the amount of money that he has to pay. It’s perfectly reasonable.

I thanked him for deflecting her. Then she proceeded to yell at him for 30 minutes. When she was done, she called her ex-boyfriend-now-best-friend so she could yell at him for another 30 minutes.

This entire time, Thing #1 was cleaning the kitchen to stay out of the entire ordeal.

Once Thing #2 was done with me and moved on to her father, I came upstairs and unloaded on a friend (who I will be telling you about tomorrow). We chatted. He was supportive. I felt better and went to sleep after that. I didn’t want to talk to Thing #2 again before bed. I was calm enough to fall asleep and I didn’t want to ruin that…

Selfish. I know.

The next morning I apologized to Thing #2. I was mean and said things I shouldn’t have said. I acted in an unmotherly way.

“I’m sorry for being so mean to you last night.”

“I forgive you, Mom. But you know that doesn’t make it right.” Then, she mumbled under her breath,“I’m sorry, too.” I barely heard her.

“Please could you repeat that last part? I didn’t quite hear you.”

“I’m sorry, too, Mom.”

I held my tongue in regards to her flippant comment in regards to “making it right” and told her I accepted her apology as well.

She walked to school that morning.

When I got home, she apologized for being such a bitch that morning when she accepted my apology.

Sk8cation: Sunday

Sk8cation: Sunday

Read about Friday, Saturday Morning and The Rest of Saturday

After Saturday’s skate party was over, our fellow Denver-ite skater friend, Maya, asked for a ride back to our hotel. She wanted to wait in the lobby for her ride back to town and I was happy to oblige. It was nice to have someone else to talk to after skating – someone who has been to one of these things before… The conversation was nice and I learned a lot about the Denver skate drama scene (one thing she told me made me very happy I hadn’t gone to a skate party the year before with a different girl. Whew!).

I had mentioned a few times near the end of the night that I wanted to take a bath – I could feel the soreness in my bones. So, we returned to the hotel and said “Good-bye” to Maya. I told Scorpio he could take the first shower – I didn’t want to get my dirtiness all over the shower before he had a chance to get clean (seriously, that’s how I said it). Also, I wanted to take my time lounging in the hot water. Maybe his germ-o-phobe ass would fall asleep before I crawled into bed like the night before.

He didn’t even suggest that we shower together, he just hopped in the shower and started…. We talked while he was cleaning off – he was telling me what a great time he had, how he had no idea how much fun it would really be and thanking me for “inviting” him! He was downright giddy!

Then, something strange happened. He finished up his shower, dried off and started running a bath for me. I was shocked and all I could think to say was, “Ummm… Thank you for running my bath?”

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Sk8cation: The Rest of Saturday

Sk8cation: The Rest of Saturday

Read about Friday here

After our wonderfully awkward morning together, Scorpio needed to take a shower (ya think!?). But it wasn’t only because of his little phone sex episode in the bed earlier, it was also the fact that he has to be as germ-free as possible at all times and he had just spent and entire night sleeping across a king-sized bed from my filthy ass. (Can you feel the sarcasm oozing here?) We were going to a free picnic in the park that afternoon and he needed to look his best.

To be honest, I don’t remember what I did while he was taking forever to get ready. It didn’t bug me for the first half of the vacation, but he just takes so long to do everything. I was probably out on the deck again getting high. That’s probably why I don’t remember.

Anyway… The picnic was pretty freaking awesome!!

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Sk8-Venture Drama 2014: Day1

Sk8-Venture Drama 2014: Day1

First I want to say that, before I leave on any vacation, I like to have a “base plan”. Nothing sophisticated, complicated or time-consuming, just a fucking base plan. In my mind, in order to arrive places on time, there should be a deadline time to leave. Period. My deadline time for leaving on our Sk8-Venture was 10AM (because we left at ten last year and got there at 8:30PM, with time to settle in before we had to race off to the skate party).

After that, the entire rest of the weekend could have been spontaneous.

The plan we discussed last Tuesday was:

  • Pack up all our stuff on Thursday because we both had the day off. (Big surprise, he didn’t do anything ahead of time)
  • Call Loverman at 9 o’clock Friday morning to wake him up
  • Leave by 10AM on our awesome Sk8-Venture

As you may already know from reading my blog, Loverman very rarely sticks to the plan (if ever). This time would not be the exception.

Friday morning I called him as planned and I thought he would be ready to go. Because he was supposed to be. He promised he would be. We talked for a few minutes. He said he had to take a shower and then he would be on the way. Which left me with the impression that he was going to take a shower and then leave. This was at 9 o’clock.

At 11:13 I got a text from him, “Leaving now and will be there in a few.” It takes about 20 minutes for him to get to my house, so I put on an episode of a sitcom I had recorded and watched it to pass the time. The episode ended and he still hadn’t arrived, so I watched another episode. When that one ended and there was still no sign of Loverman, I actually started to get worried because it was taking him an unnaturally long time.

Ironically, I made a joke with Thing #1 Thursday afternoon about how I would just be happy if he picked me up by 12:30. I should have knocked on wood when I said it. Loverman would be a day late and a dollar short to his own fucking funeral!

I called him at 12:11 to see what was taking so long. He told me he was at the gas station filling up the car. That’s great! Except he was supposed to have done that the day before. Still it wasn’t 12:30 yet, so I decided to just breathe and not to freak out. It worked.

He finally got to my apartment at 12:45. Only 15 minutes later than I anticipated. I was marginally upset but I got over it. Really I was happy that I could stop freaking out about when he would get there!

After re-checking the car and getting everything all packed into it, we were on the highway by 1PM.

The driving trip was fun. We listened to music, sat together and talked. The only thing strange about it was the lack of affection during the entire drive. Usually we kiss at all the stop lights or make out at the gas station when we’re filling up, and we always hold hands as we’re driving down the road. We wiggle and giggle and fiddle with each others’ sexy bits. This time, I would put my hand out for him to hold but he acted like it wasn’t even there. He never once said anything about Vanilla and Coconut. I didn’t get a single smack on the ass. During the 10-hour drive I only got 3 kisses and they were tiny pecks.

But, like I said, the ride was fun and I didn’t want to get too preoccupied by something so small. I really was trying not to have a repeat of last year.

We checked into the hotel at 11:35PM. The Friday night skate party started at Midnight and went until 3:30AM so we had time to get changed and ready to go skating. We would be fashionably late, but everyone else is late to these things, too.

I changed my clothes and put on some makeup. Loverman tried to decide what to wear and ended up wearing what he already had on.

We arrived at the rink at a little before 1AM. Both of us were happy that we made it the whole way safely and still had a hotel room to check into.

Skating was awesome on Friday night! Loverman and I were tight and we skated amazingly. There is so much skate talent out there! I love to watch all the different styles, but I felt that we really held our own. We skated all the way through until the last song at 3:30 and then went back to the hotel to chill, clean up, eat some yummy breakfast and go to sleep for the day, until later when we might go bowling with the rest of the folks.

Oh my freaking goodness! I have no idea what the fuck happened after that! Maybe you can tell me because I seriously don’t know what went down to get us to the point of “maybe we should just be friends”.

Now as I look back on things, I think he had already set up our vacation for a fail.

Here’s how it went once we got back to our room:

We sat on the bed together for a little while, eating because we were starving and talking about how great a time we had and how awesome the skating was! (Looking back on this, I think we should have each had a glass or two of wine with our munchies and things would have gone much more romantically differently)

While we were talking I mentioned that I thought our lack of any intimate contact all day was strange and I wanted to know if something was wrong. I don’t remember his response, but I thought it was benign so I let it go.

I said I wanted to take a bath and take a quick nap before we went down to eat breakfast at about 9:30. My knee was killing me and I wanted to relax in a warm tub. I wasn’t feeling especially tired either, so maybe it would help with that, too. He was going to use his clippers and shave his face and head while I was in the bath, but when he came into the bathroom to shave, the mirror was all fogged up so he couldn’t.

He then said, “I thought you were going to take a shower.”

I answered, “I wanted to take a bath because my legs are really sore, but we can take a shower if you want to join me.”

“Naw. I’ll wait and shave when you’re done and shower later.”

“Okay,” was my response. I finished up my bath and crawled into bed. He was just standing outside the bathroom door, in his underwear, in the dark. I said, “Don’t worry about me. If you want to use your clippers to cut your hair and stuff you can do it while I’m sleeping. It’s 5AM and I am tired. You probably won’t bother me at all.”

He didn’t answer me right away and I got up out of the bed to see what he was doing alone in the dark bathroom. When I walked up to him and asked, “Is there something I can do? What’s wrong? It’s fine for you to trim your beard and stuff. Don’t worry about it. Please go ahead and take a shower.”

Loverman looked at me and said, “Why do you gotta be that way? I am just happy that we got here safe, but you’re ruining our weekend just like I figured. Just like last time. And it’s only the first night. We’re going to be here together for 2 more nights and this is how you want to start our weekend together?”

“Last time we had fun after the first night. I’ve already apologized for messing up and we decided to have fun and get along. So we did. I even wrote it down in my journal so I could remember it. I don’t know what I did tonight, but can you please accept my apology so we can skip over this like a speed bump. Then we can have fun for the next three days. Like you said, it’s only the first day.”

“Nope,” he said. “I know that you’re going to spend the rest of the time telling me about how much I ruined your weekend. So I think it’s just best that I leave now. That way I won’t ruin your fantastic skate weekend.” He was completely dressed again with his jacket on, and had packed up the few things that he had unpacked a few hours earlier. “I knew this was going to happen. You couldn’t just be happy that we got here could you?”

This entire time I am fucking clueless of what’s going on. Unless I blacked out or something (and I hadn’t even started drinking yet) I honestly don’t know what I did wrong. And, for all the times I asked him to please tell me, he couldn’t give me an answer.

He repeated that it was because I couldn’t just let things go from last year and have a good time — he told me that I was just going to keep bringing up how bad it was last year. “I know I was 3 hours late,” he said. “You can be mad at me for that.”

“I don’t want to be mad at you for that. I don’t want to be mad at all. I want to stay here, sleep, eat breakfast, wake up and have a good time.”

He grabbed his stuff and walked out into the hallway.

He was just going to pack up all of his shit and leave me there all alone on Saturday morning. The first morning of our awesome adventure. Without even giving it a chance.

As he stood there in the hallway talking to me, he explained that he would call his cousin and ask her to bring him back. All I could think was: Seriously?!?! You’re going to ask your cousin to drive you 10 hours to Denver and then make her drive back to Kansas City?!? And you only have $40 to your name?!?!

I told him that I really didn’t want to stand in the hallway having this argument as people were waking up and going downstairs for breakfast. I asked if we could go back into our room. He told me we could go down and talk in the lobby by the breakfast area

Brilliant!! I love putting on a good break-up performance for onlookers early in the morning. That’s good shit! Besides, if it wasn’t us it would probably have been someone else *sigh* Awesome! We headed down to the lobby and sat where he chose to continue our talk (at least we were away from the front desk).

I would go into that part, but most of it was me saying the same things over and over again and what I wrote in yesterday’s post. He wasn’t listening to what I was trying to say and he kept putting words in my mouth. He kept telling me how I would feel and what I would be thinking. I kept telling him how he needs me to let me have my own thoughts. I reminded him that I am not a complete nasty psycho-bitch like all the rest of his girlfriends. Then I said:

I need you to stop holding me responsible for other people’s mistakes that have hurt you.

I am not those people, nor do I want to be. I don’t want to hurt you ever. Please let me have my own thoughts and actions, don’t try to plan out the future based on how you presume I will be.

I don’t know how much harder I have to work to prove to you that I am worth a little forgiveness, Loverman, but our relationship is totally awesome 90% of the time. That’s a pretty good balance, and better than most relationships I see. You’re a lucky man that things are fucked up in our relationship only 10% of the time. If you can’t see all the awesome things I do for you and be able to forgive me for a mistake every once in a while, maybe you’re right and we should just be friends.

I continued by saying, “The way I see it here is we have two choices. One – get over whatever this is and move on, get some sleep and have a great time again this year after we wake up. Or Two – let me go upstairs and pack up my shit and we can just leave now.”

He sat on the bench next to me (not next to me on the bench) and thought about it for so long I thought he had fallen asleep.

Eventually he said, “I will stay, but only so you can go skating tonight. But we’re not staying Sunday night. We’re going to check out Sunday at checkout time. Also, I will be paying you back for my portion of the trip.”

It took everything in my power not to scoff and say something mean to him at this point. I wanted to say, “In the past 4 years, you haven’t paid back a single penny I have given you.” Then I calculated it quickly in my head. It’s a lot. But I held my tongue.

He got up from his bench and started walking outside with his bag.

I followed him and asked, “What are you doing? I thought you said you were going to stay.”

“I said I’m staying, but I’m going to put all my stuff in the car and go back to the room and get some sleep. I’m wore out with this.” (the ‘wore out’ thing is something he says every single time he doesn’t want to address his feelings and deal with a problem)

When he got back to the room he went over to the chair in the corner, still fully dressed with his jacket on, put on his sunglasses and headphones and went to sleep sitting in the fucking chair.


Date #2 With Mr. AM

Date #2 With Mr. AM

I got the following email at 6:55 PM Tuesday night:

Damn!  I just got horrible news…my flight is delayed out of Sioux Falls, and I now don’t land in Denver until 10pm… Probably wouldn’t get to the hotel until a bit after 10:30pm.
I’ve absolutely been dreaming about connecting with you tonight, and would love to still get together…just not sure if you have the opportunity to meet up that late?

Let me know…would love to see you and have some fun together, but fully realize if the timing won’t work for you…

To which I responded:

That totally stinks! I was dreaming about you, too 🙂

I can make it work if you can. I don’t know how attentive you need to be tomorrow, but if you’re up for it (pun intended) so am I. I’ll just catch a quick nap in my truck while I’m waiting for you (if I can, I am SO excited to see you and stuff). Beware, though, that I just got out of the shower and I am smelling SUPER good right now — I might not smell quite as luscious later. Just sayin’…

You can text me back or give me a call.

And then HE said:

Perfect!  I’m absolutely “up” for it!  I’ll force myself to not get a speeding ticket, and will see you in the hotel lobby around that time.  I’ll text as soon as I land to give you an ETA.

I’m fucking getting hard as I type this…I can’t WAIT to get my mouth in between your legs again.  Your pussy juice tasted SO good when you were cumming, I’ve GOT to drink you up again.  And I’m SO excited thinking about being able to be inside you too…

Now, that was a nice text! And it turns out he was excited.

He texted me at 10:15 to let me know that he landed, was in his car, and the directions said he would arrive at 10:45.

And that’s exactly what happened.

I was supposed to meet him in the lobby when he got there, so I walked into the hotel at about 10:40. There was a long line of people standing at the front desk, all of them angry and rustling about through their things, some of them on their phones. Being an ex-front desk agent at numerous hotels, I suspected I knew what had happened, but I listened in on some conversations to confirm my suspicions. After listening to parts of 4 separate conversations, I knew that the hotel had been overbooked and that they were “walking” guests (paying for the guests’ rooms at a different hotel). I hadn’t heard anyone say as much, but I have been in the situation so many times it practically brought back nightmares.

As I sat there on a lobby couch waiting for Mr. AM, I wondered how he would react to/handle this situation.

He arrived at 10:46 and I greeted him by the door. He noticed the line at the desk and said, “Wow, it’s really busy for being so late.”

I answered, “I think the hotel is overbooked. At least that’s the impression that I get from what’s going on here and what I can hear from the people talking.”

His response was immediate, “But I have a reservation!”

“I know, and they will honor that reservation, but it will be at a different hotel. Let’s just go check in first and see. I could be totally wrong.”

I wasn’t wrong at all. I could see that Mr. AM was getting upset — who wouldn’t? It was late and he had been getting the runaround all evening — but he was handling it well. The agent explained to us that we would have to drive to a different hotel down the highway about 10 minutes, and then told us the name of the hotel. I am familiar with the location because I drive by it every day at work. I looked at the agent and said, “That’s farther than 10 minutes away. If we drive there, how do we know that hotel won’t be overbooked, too?”

“They aren’t,” she reassured me and then called the other hotel to let them know we’d need a room. While she was making our new reservation, I explained to Mr. AM that hotels overbook all the time. “Heads in beds” is their universal motto. Having to eat the cost for a few rooms every once in a while is just the price of doing business.

The agent handed a map to Mr. AM and told him how to get to the other location. I asked him if he just wanted to follow me and, as we were walking back to our cars, I said to him, “All this waiting will make it so much better. All the anticipation building.”

He agreed with a laugh.

We got to our cars and he pulled in behind me to follow.

It turns out that he has a BMW 😦
FYI, I have a very strong opinion about BMW drivers that I haven’t shared here, but it is definitely NOT a good one. Regardless, it didn’t surprise me that’s what he drives.

When we arrived and were standing in the lobby, I had a strong feeling of deja-vu. There were a lot of people in the lobby and a couple of them seemed upset. The agents were busy, but no one was leaving the hotel, so I took that as a good sign.

As luck would have it, it turns out that we got the last available room at the replacement hotel! And, I am glad for the new location, it was a much nicer.

This entire time we hadn’t yet touched. Not hands. Not anything. Not even a kiss hello on the cheek. It was strange.

However, when we got to our room, it was something different entirely. He put his bags down next to the TV, turned around to face me, and started kissing me ravenously! We ran our hands though each other’s hair for a minute, enjoying the moment. But, it wasn’t long before both of us were undressed and he told me to get into the bed and “get comfortable”.

I unmade the extremely luxurious mattress (remember,  I sleep on a couch at home. Every bed I get to sleep in is luxurious!) and climbed in. I would like to make this a nice, erotic story, but the fact is: he ate my pussy again and it was totally awesome, then we fucked and it was okay (I brought condoms, but he used his own before it was even an issue – awesome, right?), then we had a brief awkward time and then I left.

After all the excitement and waiting, the entire event only lasted 45 minutes. That’s pretty much how I figured it would happen; but, I’ll have to admit, I wish we could have actually “done it” at least one more time. Once I get started I am hard to shut off. I could have cum all night long and then left for work the next morning with a huge smile on my face, but it was late and he had to be up at 5 the next morning to catch his flight out.

When we finished, he went to the bathroom to clean up. While he was in there I thought, Maybe I should put my clothes on and go. I think that’s what I am supposed to be doing right now, but the bed (and the pillows!) were SO comfortable I wanted to lay there and luxuriate a little longer.

He came out of the bathroom and put on his underwear. That was my clue that it was time to get dressed and go home! I didn’t think I would end up spending the night with him. I didn’t actually want to, but was a little disappointed because I thought, for the way he was talking/emailing earlier, it would be more of a sex-fest than it turned out to be.

When he climbed back into the bed, I said, “I don’t mean to be awkward, but I don’t know what I should be doing here. Do I go home? Do you want me to stay? How does this work?”


His answer was, “Well, I need to call home and check in and I certainly can’t do that while you’re here.”

“Okay then… I guess that answers my question. I had fun tonight, can we do this again?”

“Of course we can. Tonight was kind of crazy with all the travel problems. Next week I am traveling again. How about two weeks from now? Tuesday.”

“I’ll probably have my period.”

“Okay. Three weeks then. Tuesday. I will let you know more when I get back from my trip next week.”

At this point I was finished getting dressed and had walked back over to the bed to kiss him good-bye. It was odd. His kisses are different before and after sex. Before sex, they are passionate and yearning, searching for pleasure, erotic and all-consuming. After sex they’re like kisses you give to your Grandmother. It was like he flipped a switch or something.

See? Awkward.

I left the room and felt very strange walking through the lobby, past the girls that had checked us in not even an hour before..

The next morning, when I knew he would be at the airport waiting for his flight to leave, I sent him a text. “I really enjoyed last night. It was totally worth the wait. Have a great day. Travel safe.”

“Absolutely! Until next time.”

It just wasn’t the same as my sexy Loverman.

Sk8 Saturday: East Meets West Skate Jam

Sk8 Saturday: East Meets West Skate Jam

Check it out! Loverman and I are planning this as our next sk8-venture.

I am SO excited!

And if you live in Denver, tonight is Ladies’ Night at the Skate City in Westminster. All ladies 18+ get in to skate for $1.00

10PM to 12AM

Have a great weekend, everyone ❤