Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Throwback Thursday: 06/27/2010

mistake

This is what I wrote the first time that Loserman stopped talking to me, 5 damn years ago, before I started my blog.

It reads just like present-times…

It’s over. Done. He hung up on me on Father’s Day while we were talking about when he would be able to finish fixing my car. It hurts so bad this time that:
  1. I don’t even want to write about it, it’s so stupid – maybe finally his wife found out and he’s trying to prove something to her about his love (see #3 for more on his loving her)…
  2. I feel like such a moron for thinking that all the bullshit he said was true. like “I love you”, “I’ll never leave you”, “I’m always be with you”, “I’m yours already”…  FUCKED UP!  Why would I EVER in a BILLION YEARS think that such a beautiful man would ever truly WANT me.  He’s the biggest self-involved mother-fucker that I have met to date, but I felt special because he ‘liked’ me.
  3. The stupidest parts of #2 are related to #1…  Like – why didn’t I listen to my better judgment? I’m old enough that I should have been smarter.  He obviously has a problem with commitment… He tries but then there’s this regular problem that he refuses to deal with and then ‘his girlfriend’ gets out of control because truly he’s a self-involved mother-fucker! I am impressed that his wife could deal with the bullshit for so long – and he’s only being nice to her because she is paying all of his bills right now.
  4. Because of that mother-fucker I am starting to hate myself again!  And I AM going to blame it on him. It’s that “horsefly’s” fault for even letting me think that an “us” was even possible. He must be getting what he needs from his wife…
I am SO angry with myself. So mad that I could be stupid enough to believe the things that he said. Even if he does try to contact me at this point I think he’s truly shown me what a horrid person he is and I can’t even let him in again for the most-awesome-sex-that-I-could-ever-know.  It was SO good.  I think he could be right.  I did only want him for his “froggy style”…
8 Comments »

What Happened Wednesday

View Tuesday here

Wednesday morning, I was supposed to call and wake Loverman up at 6:45 so I could pick him up at his friend’s house and drop him off at my truck, Bear, which he is borrowing right now (because his other 3 cars currently don’t work/aren’t legal *sigh*), and still make it to work on time.

I called him 14 times 😉 and he didn’t answer the phone! I thought he was probably so knocked out that he didn’t hear the phone ringing, so I sent him 7 texts in a row — the text noise is really loud and annoying and would wake anyone up (my daughters call it “Barbie Sparkles” because it sounds like if Barbie was 6 and had a wand…)

I waited until 6:55 to start driving to where he was staying and, while I was driving, I concentrated really hard on Loverman and screamed in my head at him to WAKE UP!! then I called him again. He answered! OMG!

I was so relieved because I didn’t know what I was going to do. He hasn’t told me where his friend’s house is, I always drop him off and pick him up at the Walgreen’s close by.

The phone isn’t ringing!!!” he answered.

“How did you know to answer?” I asked.

“I don’t know, baby. I just woke up all of a sudden and looked at my phone and you were calling me.”

Crazy! I thought, He must have heard me screaming in his head! “I am SO glad you answered! I was just screaming at your brain. You must have heard me.

He grunted in acknowledgement and I could feel the smile on his face.

“I am on my way to get you now and I should be there in about 15 minutes. I’m sorry you had to wake up like this.”

He said, “I don’t know why the ringer is off on my phone…”

*I* know. His friend’s wife turned it off after he fell asleep (she threatened to the night before) so he could sleep well and for a long time. Loverman didn’t tell her that he HAD to be up early, so she turned it off. No harm, no foul. She was just looking out for him and didn’t know everything that was supposed to be happening that day.

We met at Walgreen’s as planned. He ran to get there (what a shitty morning for him!) and we were on the way by 7:15. He looked SO exhausted when he got to the car. I told him that if he wanted, he could just sleep in the car while I drove and I would wake him up when we got to Bear.

He talked to me for a minute or two. The he leaned over onto my arm, rested his head on my shoulder and nuzzled me — just like I do when he’s driving and I’m tired (or glowing). “You smell so clean. I need to shower…” he said as he put his hand on my knee, squeezed it and fell asleep. He can totally do that. It’s amazing!

For the entire 50-minute drive he slept with his head on my shoulder. Every time I looked over at him, or felt him move, it melted my heart and I had to lean over and kiss him on the forehead.

When we got to the park-n-ride where we had left Bear the night before, I woke Loverman up and kissed him on his merry way. I even made it to work on time! Whew!

The rest of the day’s plan was simple: I had to go to work and he was going to try to get more sleep (because 4 hours in 3 days is not enough), then he would go to his storage unit and start unpacking the moving truck and return it. I would pick him up after work and we would go skating, drive up to our hotel room, take a long, hot shower and get some sleep.

Our days pretty much went as planned: he got his extra sleep and made it to the storage garage to start unloading the truck, and I went to work (where I almost successfully concentrated on getting my job done).

When I got to the storage unit at almost 7PM, Loverman was still unpacking his stuff. Or, should I say, Diva‘s stuff, because Loverman had already moved everything he owns to the storage unit over the last 6 weeks. There were some last-minute tools of his that he saved to move at the end to have easy access to them, but the moving truck was half-full of Diva’s stuff! Some of the bags were actually full of garbage!

It was still raining from the day before and I was, again, still wearing my work clothes (one of my favorite dresses, but also very durable so it survived!) because I thought he would be done unloading the truck by the time I got there. So did he.

I thought that the only things left on the truck were his things, but instead of freaking out because things weren’t going as planned, I just rolled up my sleeves (figuratively) and asked Loverman, “What do you need me to do?”

He was so angry and upset about all of the stuff Diva had dumped on him! As he vented, I started taking things out of the moving truck and putting them in the garage. When he was through, I reminded him to call our hotel and make the reservation before it was too late again. Also, he needed a sit-down break to take a breath and drink some water and chill out.

The reservation was made successfully. Good news! That helped motivate us to a common goal 😉

Plus, there was still skating to get to and Loverman was truly dead-set on getting there to “get our skate on”. He has been trying SO HARD to make sure some things go right well — it’s sweet.

We finally got everything unloaded and into the garage by 7:30 (Wednesday night skating is from 7:30 to 10, so we still had plenty of time). All we had to do before leaving to go skating was fill up the moving truck with gas, bring it back and drop off the keys.

As we were driving away from the storage garage Loverman looked at me and asked, “Where is my jacket?… Oh shit! I think I left in back at the storage unit! It’s probably lying right in front where I put it when I got there. Damn! It has all the keys in it. Damn!”

“Do you want me to turn around and go back?”

“No, baby. It’s okay. I don’t have the key for the storage unit. I think there’s a spare at S-&-J’s house. I’ll get it tomorrow. Dammit, I didn’t want to drive all the way up there again right away!”

His phone rings Barbie Sparkles with an incoming text. It was Diva, “Can you bring back my bag of shoes?”

Loverman laughed his ass off as he responded that they would have to wait until another day and we continued on to skating, where we arrived with one hour of skating left. And we had quite a lovely time.

We finally made it to our room just before midnight and I jumped into the shower almost immediately. After being in there alone for what seemed like 15 minutes, I called out “Are you coming in to get clean with me, or did you fall asleep already?”

I heard the bathroom door open and he peeked in through the shower curtain, “Boo!”

Then, he joined me in the shower.

Both of us fell asleep as soon as our bodies were comfortably tangled up together in bed. I woke up a couple of times to go to the bathroom. He felt one time, but stayed asleep until the alarms woke us Thursday morning.

It was so sweet how he started rubbing my back to wake me up. He made love to me as he massaged my entire back side. I felt like I was melting underneath him…

And then we had to start another day. Right away. No time to snuggle, or enjoy the glow. Or anything.

We didn’t even have time to stop and get donuts

3 Comments »

Going To His House

The last time you heard from me, Tuesday night didn’t turn out like I had hoped. I was really, really bummed, but even though we didn’t get to spend the entire night together, we still got to spend that evening together and see each other again first thing Wednesday morning.

Here’s how it went…

Tuesday after work I was supposed to meet him and help him move his vehicles (3 cars and a moving van) off of the property. So, I sent him a text at 5:30 to let him know I was on my way.

His response was:

Yeah, baby, come to my house.

That was unexpected, to say the last. I had never been there before. I never wanted to go to his house, really. There was never a reason for me to go there. Whenever I pick him up to go out, we meet at Taco Bell or Wendy’s, a few blocks away.

(I used to want to go to his house, but not to mess around or anything like that, just to pick him up when we were going out so he wouldn’t always have to walk to meet me. I respected his wishes and, even thought I knew his address, I never even drove past his house when I was worried. Even though I was very tempted a couple of times.)

While I was on my way to meet him I did not obsess about meeting his wife/Diva. It was strange. I wasn’t nervous to meet her or worried that she would beat me up…

(Every time I try to write this part, I can’t work it out with my words… *sigh*)
When I got to the house and parked down the street, there were a few people there: Loverman, Diva and a friend who had recruited her family to help. There was also a man on the street standing by a pickup truck. I thought he might be with Diva or the eviction company.

For a second I sat in my car waiting for a signal from Loverman.

He waved and signaled for me to ‘come here’. As I approached his house, he walked towards me and said, “Can you take a picture of that guy and get a good one of his license plate, too?”

Without thinking or asking any questions, I did as I was asked. In the meantime, Loverman explained to me that this dude had been hanging around the house all afternoon (after the sheriff and the eviction crew left) asking strange questions like, “when will you be done?” and “do you want me to take anything off your hands?”.

The guy was a scavenger. In most states, when and eviction is scheduled, a notice has to be posted in the paper. This guy, and his company, troll the papers to find these “events” and then scavenge the hell out of evictees’ stuff. It’s sad, but it happens all the time.

The dude started walking towards me very quickly when he saw what I was doing and pulled out his camera to take a picture of me, too. He yelled at me to stop filming him and threatened to knock my camera from my hands. Loverman stepped right in front of me, in his protective stance, and told Dude to step back.

I was still dressed in my work clothes and could have passed off as a real estate agent or some type of legal professional, so I used it to my advantage. I explained to Loverman why Dude was there. For reference, the three of us are standing in the middle of the neighborhood street.

Dude was fuming angry, and a good 4-5 inches taller than Loverman who is only 5’10”. He got all up in Loverman’s face and the two of them yelled back and forth while I stood behind Loverman trying to figure out what to do. I was waiting to be told before I called the cops, so there was nothing I could do at that moment. I was watching two black men in a standoff over territory. Even though Dude was 100% wrong I was just going to have to wait and see how things played out and hope for the best.

I thought that they were finally going to start hitting each other, but then Dude stepped back to call 911, on speakerphone. While he was explaining to the 911 operator what was going on, she told him to get into his vehicle to be in a safe place. While Dude was walking back to his truck, I heard her tell him that someone at Loverman’s address had already called for an assist and officers were on their way to respond to the previous call.

Dude sat in his truck for a few more minutes and then just drove away. The time was 6:45PM (remember this time for later). He didn’t come back again that night. (While Dude was still in his truck I told Loverman that he had just scared the shit out of me and, even though I understood how he felt and what he was doing, I still didn’t want him spending the night in jail for assault.)

After Dude left, Loverman and I walked off the street and Diva came over to say hello. She seemed totally out of it, just like Loverman had mentioned a few times recently. He told me that he thought Diva was acting strange — very lethargic, totally apathetic and in complete denial. While she was talking to me, she was all of that. It was totally like she didn’t give a shit about anything that was happening. Her friend and her friend’s family were doing all the work while Diva just stood there blankly.

Diva told me more about what Dude had been doing there and the things that he had told her. She just kept talking to me like she didn’t realize what was going on around her! She was in no rush to get done or to go anywhere. It was surreal.

After everyone had stopped and chatted for what seemed like forever (especially considering the situation!), at 7:30 Loverman and I started moving his cars. That part ended up being awesome fun!

At 8:30, when we were moving the last car, the police finally showed up! I don’t know when Loverman originally called for the assist, but using the time that Dude called the cops, it was still almost two freaking hours before law enforcement arrived. How disappointing!

I am glad no one was in actual danger.

Oh, and I forgot to tell you, this entire time it was raining on and off and we were all soaking wet (I was still in my work clothes. LOL!).

Once the vehicles were moved (a couple of them had to be pushed into their spots) we were both tired and ready for food and a warm bed. We went to McDonald’s for our “regular” and he called the hotel to make our reservation. Usually it isn’t so late when he calls and there is almost always a room available.

There were no rooms left for Tuesday night 😦 So we sat in our booth at McDonald’s for about another hour, cuddling and commiserating and decided to try again Wednesday night. One of the things that he told me when we were talking is that, earlier, he talked to the Sheriff who was doing the eviction. Loverman found out that the date on the Writ of Restitution HAD been altered from the 18th to the 28th and also, a Notice to Vacate had been posted at the house Monday morning at 10AM, stating the date and time the eviction would be performed. Exactly one hour before Diva sent Loverman a text explaining that he had to have his stuff moved by midnight Monday night.

After we finished making our tentative plans for the next day, I dropped him off at his friend’s house right before midnight and we both tried to get some sleep. We would have to be up extra early the next morning (Wednesday) to start the new day.

Hoping the next one would be better.

And it was.

Kind of…

Stay tuned for What Happened Wednesday.

3 Comments »

Loverman Withdrawal

We had such an amazing night last night. The last couple of days have been crazy and Tuesday night did not go as I had planned 😦 but last night was wonderful! It’s like, even though he’s having a really crappy life right now, he’s still trying to make sure that things still go well and that we’re still having fun. I never wanted to tell him “I love you” more than I did this morning.

But our very short morning together was cut even shorter because I had to drop Loverman off somewhere completely different than usual. After dropping him off, it added another 15-30 minutes onto my already-50-minute commute, which took away pretty much all of our cuddle time!

And, as a result I am feeling an incredible amount of Loverman withdrawal this morning.

This week has been a torrential ‘thrill’ of emotion and I am very proud of how composed I have been for all the things that didn’t work out as I had planned wanted. But in times of crisis I seem to have more strength/pluck. I don’t understand why it’s easier to put feelings aside at some times rather than others…

Photo Credit: lanier67

Photo Credit: lanier67

I have a lot to say, but I don’t have any time to say it right now. It’s month-end at work and I have to get all that done, plus Loverman was just evicted and there is a lot of time and bullshit that goes into that.

I hope that I can keep it all in my memory bank until I have more time (I hope) to write it here this weekend.

10 Comments »

Loverman’s Wife (aka Diva)…

…is a 48-year-old “woman” who…diva

…hasn’t paid the mortgage on her house in over 9 months. Her house is in her name and her name only. When Loverman asked her about the foreclosure letters that came in the mail last month she told him it wasn’t any of his business and that she’s a grown woman and can take care of herself.

…hasn’t paid the cable or internet bill in over 3 months and now both have been disconnected. These are also responsibilities that she has taken upon herself and refuses to let Loverman help out with.

…has a 13-year-old son and has no idea who the baby-daddy is.

…does not make her 13-year-old son go to school. EVER!!! This is the second year now that boy has not been MADE to go to school. Last year (2012-2013) her son didn’t attend even one single day of school between the months of October and February. That boy had to attend summer school in order to move up to the next grade and was told that if he pulled that stunt again next year (right now) he would be held back a year with NO chance to make up time in summer school. Period. This year, Diva’s son went to school September through the end of October and has not attended a single day since. When Loverman tries to talk to Diva’s son about how important an education is, Diva tells Loverman to mind his own business.

…does not buy any groceries for her 13-year-old son and leaves him alone for 4-6 days at a time. When Loverman asks if he can help, again Diva tells him that her son isn’t HIS son and to mind his own business. When she finally does come home, she spoils her son with fast food and video games (which he can’t play because their internet has been shut off for nonpayment)… and then takes off for another week.

…goes out clubbing on those 4-6 nights a week and posts pictures every single time on her Facebook page (she posts them publicly, like an idiot, so I can see everything she does *leSigh*). Very young boys men come to her house at all hours of the day and night to hang out with her in her bedroom and take her to clubs. If they see Loverman working on a car in front of the house, they make a u-turn in the street and drive away. 5 minutes later, Diva is rocking her clubbing outfit and getting in her car to drive away.

diva flower

Loverman has nowhere to go. He doesn’t have enough money to get himself his own place and is just keeping his stuff at Diva’s house until the bank forecloses on it and kicks them both out. Then, he and I will have some serious financial juggling and life adjusting to do. She will probably lose her house about the same time this year as I decide to send Mr. Gloom-n-Doom packing — we always have weird coincidences like that.

I don’t like to talk about Loverman’s wife. That’s why you haven’t heard any of this before. She totally pisses me off! But I think you should at least know what I know about her.

Related Posts:

10 Comments »

No More Sleeping At Home

Remember my post the other day?

Good Sex

I’m pretty sure that Loverman didn’t direct that post at me!…

Loverman hasn’t really slept at home for over 4 weeks. There are a couple of days/hours here and there, but I think it has actually probably been more like 8… He says it’s because of his truck (it’s going to get repo’d and he doesn’t want them to be able to find it), but I know that’s not totally it.

According to Loverman, Diva (The Wife) hasn’t said anything to him about why he’s gone so much (I know that if he were MY husband I would want to freaking know where he was staying all the time!); even when there are opportunities. Just last night he was laughing about how funny it is that they haven’t said anything to each other for weeks and the first (and only) thing she does say to him is: “the disposal’s broken” and that’s the end of it.

She didn’t even know he was out of the state for 3 days for our sk8-venture! It doesn’t matter if she knew he was with me… She didn’t know he was gone at all! Even *I* told Mr. Doom-n-Gloom! I told him I was going with Loverman and everything — he just thought there were 4 other people that went with us.

Gone skating

I guess there’s really no need for me to be jealous of his wife any more, huh?

4 Comments »

Husband Swap

Lonely Womanby Villemo666H

Lonely Woman
by Villemo666H

I don’t talk about Loverman’s wife (aka Diva) here very much. Just the occasional jealous post, etc… I have never met her, I have never seen her, I have never even been to their house, but I know where it is. Loverman is trying to protect me, but both his wife and step-son know about me — in the same way that my family knows about him.

You know how yesterday I wrote that things are changing? Lately I can see that his marriage has been changing, too. And not in the good way.

His step-son, “C”, missed 48 days of school before winter break this year — if you put all the days together, that’s over 9 school weeks missed out of 15! Loverman had been keeping track of the missed days and started thinking about the consequences for C if he didn’t start going to school. One day he went into the office to see how bad it really was and the Assistant Principal said that if C comes to school every single day for the rest of the year and completes all his homework assignments and shows that he’s making and effort to learn he MIGHT get to move on to the next grade next fall. OMG!! When Loverman brought it up with Diva, she said “That’s my son and I am a grown woman. I know exactly what’s going on with him and I am taking care of it.” Loverman was really pissed that she was taking her son’s education so lightly and, now, has taken the responsibility onto himself to make sure that his step-son C gets a reasonable education. But, the poor boy’s mother doesn’t seem to give a flying you-know-what!

I find that entire situation strange on her part because Diva spent a large part of the summer last year trying to find a good school for C to attend — one that had a good reputation, etc…

She is going out more regularly with her friends to bars (Loverman says that her friends are cross-dressing men that like to go to the gay clubs… I don’t know if that relevant or not, just throwing it out there…). She always liked the club scene, but when they first got married she stopped for a while. When he mentioned that she hasn’t been checking in with them (Loverman and C) when she leaves and gets home, she retorted “I am a grown woman. I don’t need a man telling me what to do.” (That’s what he told me, but I have no reason not to believe him. He’s a truthful man.)

The past three months she has gotten three speeding tickets in the mail and she just got her driver’s license back last spring from it being suspended. In the 7 years that they have been married she has not told him why her license was suspended, just when she would be allowed to get it back.

She crashed into a highway sign on the off-ramp by her house, but she wasn’t caught. The only reason we know is because of the green paint scuffs under the front bumper, the skid marks in front of the sign and the damage to the sign itself. Loverman says he thinks she’s driving home drunk when she leaves the clubs… Two of those speeding tickets were from late at night.

Sometimes I fantasize about trading spouses. You know, like Wife Swap, only husbands and permanent! I’ve joked about it with Loverman before. It’s just that now I think he might be starting to think the same thing…

Husband Swap

 

15 Comments »