Well…
My divorce from Doom-n-Gloom is final.
According to the agreement, in order to avoid paying him support, he gets to live with me until our lease expires mid-September 2016.
But, I am single now and I could be yours if you would have me.
The Wisdom of Divorce by Ricki Lake
This morning at 11AM Mountain Time, if all goes well the way it should, Doom-n-Gloom and I will be finalizing our divorce.
Maybe some of the distress I have been feeling recently is a part of this process and the “ending of an era”. I mean, Ricki’s quote up there really rings true for me.
Things just slowly faded and then, one day I looked up and all the color was gone.
Simple vs. Complicated
As my emotions start to clear out of my head a bit, I am less confused on some things and more on others: less about TC and more about me.
Actually, TC is quite simple here. He’s not even being mean about it. He’s just being himself and I can’t fault him for that. He’s vulnerable with me in the ways he’s comfortable being vulnerable with me when he feels comfortable. It’s only confusing to me because he can be so open, but then he becomes so closed off. It’s like a switch is flipped, turning things inside of him on and off in an instant. I am not really defending him as much as stating a fact.
Smitten and Doom-n-Gloom Go to Court
Last Thursday morning was our initial status conference for the divorce.
I was anxious that, because Doom-n-Gloom doesn’t have a picture ID, we might have some problems. So ahead of time I talked with a court adviser who explained that the facilitator probably wouldn’t even ask for identification — but we should bring whatever he has just in case.
Us
Today, right before the ass-crack of dawn, I will finally be on my way to TC for the weekend!!!
My flight leaves at 5:45 and arrives in Houston at 9:05. I have all day Friday and all day Saturday! The sad part is, my return flight leaves at 1:55 PM Sunday, which means that I really should be to the airport by noon. Especially since I am not familiar with it (LOL! I am so poorly traveled!).
I can have some anxiety in crowds/situations when I am not familiar with the environment or I don’t have “someone comfortable” with me. It’s something that I am working on because I know it’s a huge weakness of mine, but thinking about it can get overwhelming. I have to keep reminding myself that it is NEVER as bad as I think it’s going to be. And, the airport has literally thousands of people who can help.
Moving Right Along
In the marriage-ending department things are going well.
I guess I expected a little more bitterness/strife/anxiety from Doom-n-Gloom. Even though he hasn’t changed any of his core behaviors that I cannot live with (eg: his complete inability to realize anyone else exists in this world besides himself, yada yada…), he is being more conversational and ‘friendly’ than usual.
Please don’t get me wrong here. I am NOT complaining!! But Doom-n-Gloom’s lack of ‘passion’ or any sort of feelings towards this divorce gets me to thinking: most men fight back in some way when their wives are divorcing them. In some distorted and perverted and immature way, doesn’t that mean the husband still cares for the relationship and/or wife and is sad/upset/hurt to be losing it/her?? Kind of like pre-separation anxiety?
Anyway, what I think I am trying to say here is:
- I am very relieved. Hopefully he stays in his denial holding pattern (if that’s what this is) until after the initial hearing in mid-August (at least).
- If he’s this apathetic about me leaving him, how much did he even care about me (and/or us) to begin with?
Truly, none of that really even matters because our marriage was broken long before I started this blog.
It just took me this long to figure out that I deserve to be with someone who cares about me, myself, my well-being and (along with me) endeavors to work on our relationship every single day we’re together – and even on the days when we’re not.
Quiet
I am thankful to say that the reason I haven’t been writing is because I have nothing really to write about. Things are mostly quiet in my life.
A Temporary “Problem”
Before I wrote my Signatures post last week, there was a little bit of “drama” with Doom-n-Gloom.
After all this time, he still doesn’t have any type of government-issued picture ID! He wanders around with a ratty old County-Issued Birth Certificate that the state of Colorado won’t even accept as legitimate proof of identity and his photo ID from work. (I wrote my Is a Drivers License Important? post over 2.5 years ago)
When he gets carded at liquor stores, they won’t sell to him because he can’t prove his age. He then argues with the cashier because he is “obviously old enough to buy alcohol, gray hairs and all!” Of course that never helps, but he feels the need to do it anyway.
He has to call and make special arrangements if he needs to take an airplane anywhere. He gets to go to the Special Kids line… I’m so glad he doesn’t travel often, and never with me.
He can’t even get into a marijuana dispensary, let alone buy the shit!
Two weeks ago we went to a Notary Public at UPS to have our divorce papers notarized so I could file them with the county court.
Of course, the Notary would not notarize Doom-n-Gloom’s signatures because he could not prove he was really him.
I was absolutely furious.
Signatures
Last night Doom-n-Gloom signed the final divorce papers before I file them with the courts.
He didn’t even bat an eye when I gave them to him and asked him to sign them.
He hasn’t even read them.
I am happy that he didn’t argue, but also wondering why it was so easy for him.
Last Friday
(First off, I want to tell you that I had an amazing weekend with TC. Absolutely amazing!
But I like telling a story and it seems that I have a tendency to be long-winded, *per one of my readers* so I am going to be just that: starting with the beginning of my day Friday all the way through until TC left (way too soon) on Sunday morning. Ummm… but not all in this post…
There were some seriously mind-blowing times, so I might accidentally leave some things out. That does *NOT* mean I didn’t enjoy every single moment. I am still savoring them all. Every. Single. One.)
Smitten with Him 