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What’s Your Sign?

image by:  beth maciorowski
image by: beth maciorowski

Yesterday’s Daily Prompt asked:

Litmus, Litmus on the Wall

If you had to come up with one question, the answer to which would determine whether or not you could be friends with a person you’ve just met, what would it be? What would the right answer be?

Of course there are the standard questions that help me get an idea of an unknown person:

  • What’s your favorite music to listen to?
  • What kind of car do you drive?
  • Do you have any kids?
  • Are you from here originally?
  • What do you do for a living?

But, if I had to rely on only one single question to determine whether or not I can be friends with someone, it would be:

What’s your sign?

Cancer is definitely the wrong answer. I am completely and utterly INcompatible with Cancers. Potential suitors have been turned away because they told me that was their zodiac sign.

What’s funny is, I checked the compatibility of Cancer and Virgo. Supposedly:cancer zodiac tattoo

“The Homemaker and the Healer share a nurturing side to their personalities. For Cancer, it’s all about taking care of loved ones in an emotional sense. For Virgo, it’s more about serving others and healing them on a practical level, but again, these different approaches complement one another rather than provoking conflict. When it comes to courtship, there are few signs more old-fashioned than Virgo – and Cancer compatibility increases when a courtship is slow, dignified and sincere. Although both partners can be slightly shy in their day-to-day lives, they feel relaxed enough with one another to show their true selves, which is when love can begin to blossom. For Cancer and Virgo, compatibility thrives on the knowledge that they can trust each other.” (credit: astromatcha.com)

Hmmmm…. Cancers are too volatile and moody for me (I mean absolutely NO offense to my readers who happen to be Cancers!), especially around full-moon-time. And I do not feel relaxed or comfortable around them. I am constantly guarding myself and worrying about what passive-aggressive way they will communicate their issues to me. I don’t do passive-aggressive!

Doom-n-Gloom is a Cancer and I have had other past relationships with Cancers (friendly and romantic). Not a single one of them was like the description above! Trust was always a huge issue — we were (are) constantly guarding ourselves from each other, never letting the true feelings out.

The correct answer would be:

Virgovirgo-symbol-design

“The important thing is that next to a Virgo just like yourself you will never get bored or feel betrayed. Your Virgo is as faithful as you are and you think alike. You are as idealistic as one can be but, at the same time, you both have enough realism and practical sense to realize what can and cannot be changed about the other.

Finally, you have a partner that doesn’t complain about your staying too much at work, because that’s where your Virgo spends his/her time, too. That’s a little too much, indeed.” (credit: eastrolog.com)

When I meet a Virgo, I know instantly. There is a chemistry and repor that I feel deep inside my soul and conversation flows from the moment of first contact.

Pisces is a close second.pisces-symbol-pictures

“…both signs are mutable, flexible and adaptable – once they understand what is required of them, both partners are perfectly capable of supporting each other with overwhelming each other. It’s a delicate balance, but for Virgo and Pisces, compatibility is worth the effort.

At its best, this relationship can be magical, entrancing and deeply romantic. Communication is the absolute key, and each partner must be honest about their feelings without trying to hide the worst. Usually, when the Dreamer and the Healer join forces, they can create a better world both for themselves and for the rest of us.” (credit: astromatcha.com)

Both my daughter and a very dear old FWB of mine are Gemini. We are muy simpatico!Wonderful Black Ink Tribal Gemini Tattoo Design

“Virgo and Gemini do well together in the area of friendship and dating. They both will have plenty to talk about, and will admire the other’s intelligence. Virgo will be piqued and charmed by Gemini’s knowledge of many things, bright outlook on life and witty humor. Gemini will be intrigued with Virgo’s stability, calm personality and matter-of-fact attitude. Gemini will have to understand that Virgo doesn’t necessarily care for the glittering nightlife, while Virgo will make things easier by not keeping Gemini inside the house all day. Both signs are mutable, so compromise shouldn’t be difficult (unless either native has many fixed planets in their birth chart). ”  (credit: sasstrology.com)

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My Dream Home

My Dream Home

Someday I’d like to have a home
That’s full of pretty things
Like baby dolls and princess crowns
And boys with baseball swings

A giant playset in the yard
With picnic tables, too
Someplace with so much love around
It’s hard to say, “Adieu”

All people would be welcome there
Young, old, or rich or poor
All that’s asked is, when you come
Leave anger at the door

(inspired by today’s Daily Prompt: Dream Home)

2AM Photo Scare

2AM Photo Scare

It’s 2AM and your phone has just buzzed you awake, filling the room in white-blue LED light. You have a message. It’s a photo. No words, no explanation. Just a photo. Tell us all about it. And what happens next. Creative Writing Challenge: 2AM Photo

Simple line divider

Bling, bling! Bling, bling! Whenever I receive a text, my phone makes this awesome noise that my daughters call “Barbie Sparkles”. I like the sound because it’s loud and annoying enough to wake me up. But they are right, that’s what it sounds like.

Groggily, I roll over to pick up the glowing, vibrating phone from the nightstand. Even though I’m still mostly asleep I notice the time is 2AM. My brain knows it’s either the bank telling me that a deposit has cleared my account (I hate that sometimes I get those texts at 2AM!) or it’s my sexy Loverman sending me a sweet dream (I really enjoy those texts at 2AM).

I flip the phone open and open up the awaiting Multimedia Message. There are no words, just a picture message from Loverman of the driver’s side of the inside of my truck. The steering wheel looks like something smashed it into the dashboard, the airbag is deployed and deflated. Below I can see two legs sprawled out, mangled, jeans torn and bloody. I know exactly what happened. Loverman was in a car accident!

The grog immediately clears and I start to panic: Oh! My! God! Do I call the police? I don’t know where he is! Who am I going to call for help? He is the one I always call for help! I have to go out and find him! SSSSHHHHIIIITTTT!!!!

I frantically grab the clothes laying on the top of the dresser and spend 5 minutes falling all over myself because, seemingly, I cannot remember how to get dressed. It’s taking too much time and I am becoming more and more tangled with myself. “ARGH! This isn’t helping!!!” I think. But, I can’t think straight — what should I do? keeps screaming through my head over and over like a manic mantra. I am blinding myself with my fear, emotionally paralyzing myself in a state of utter panic.

It’s not until I get to my left shoe and I start putting it on when I start to realize how frantic I’m being. I need to slow down and be careful. I think about Loverman again and how disappointed he will be with me if I re-break that darn ankle so close to being deemed “healed”. Methodically, I concentrate on putting my left shoe on my healing foot and then I walk over to check myself out in the mirror because I don’t want to look like a crazy-meth-head-on-the-loose (even though I kind of felt like one).

I look acceptable. Freaked out! But, acceptable. I shake my body all over, take one more deep breath (inhale… exhale…) and I am on my way down the stairs to retrieve my jacket and my keys. Kitty was sitting at the top of the staircase watching me and he decides that he wants to go downstairs at the exact time that I do. And in the exact same footfalls, too. I avoid his elusive furriness for the first couple of stairs, but his fuzzy body lands on the third stair at the same time as my left foot.

“Fuck this!”, I hear myself say. I feel my body rolling down the last several steps and see my head hit the wall at the bottom. It’s strange how it all seems like an out-of-body experience. Am I unconscious? Am I dead? Did anyone hear and are they coming to help me? What have I done?

… … …

My eyes open with a start! I am laying back in my bed. There’s no pain. That’s strange. I move my head back and forth slowly. My neck’s not sore. Hmmmmm… I move my left leg around underneath the covers.  Hmmmmm, again. The ankle is fine. It doesn’t even feel sore…

Remembering what woke me up so abruptly, I look over at my phone and see that there is a new message. Hoping that it’s Loverman with a sweet and sexy bedtime message for me, I open it. I could use something to take my mind off that crazy dream! I notice, as I open up my phone, that it’s 2AM…

karma chameleon

karma chameleon

Today’s Daily Prompt is: Reincarnation: do you believe in it?

My Name Is Earl

First off, I would like to say that I think that reincarnation is completely subjective. Hopefully by the end of this post, you will see what I mean. If not, that means that I am just a “prophet ahead of her time” 😉

Have you ever watched the TV show My Name is Earl? I absolutely love it and try to watch the reruns when I can. The funny thing about it is: I didn’t start watching the show until after it was cancelled. I don’t know why I never watched it before… But I love the message it imparts about trying to right your wrongs and come clean with people for the sake of karma (or just plain being a better person), and it’s a fun and uplifting way to start the morning (thank you, TBS).

Loverman doesn’t understand why I like the show so much. That’s also funny because he is a total goofball — and he is forever telling me how silly I am. But he will watch the show with me if it happens to be on, and usually he laughs out loud at least once…

Anyway, I like the concept of this show and I like that it is so simple — just a dude trying to make things right. (and I will eventually get to my point…)

I try to go through my life with that same basic concept, except I don’t live in my home town and I never see (even on Facebook) the people from my “past life”. But I like to “pay it forward” and make sure I “treat people the way I would like to be treated”. However, as we all know, there are times when that’s impossible and other times when I simply don’t want to.

By and by, all of us are really just a sum of our actions (aka – choices) and individualized beliefs and I believe that each of our “final destination”s are tailored by those actions and beliefs. Earl found out that if he started doing nice things for people, nice things happened to him, too (and bad things happened to him less). So he began to make a conscious effort to do good things and then he felt better — therefore, making a choice to change his own “final destination”.

Here are some more examples:

  • Some people think that they will be judged by a higher power and that they may (or may not) get to walk through the pearly gates and “meet their maker” — and that is the end.
  • Others think that once their bodies have died, everything is dead — and that is the end
  • Some think that after they die, their spirits are free to choose a new existence and are reincarnated into a new being — and there is no foreseeable end.

Chameleon_Con_Badge_by_charfadeI believe that each and every one of us is here for a purpose.
I believe that everything is one — and, as a result, I believe that everything happens for a reason.
I believe that, as things happen to us, we are forced to make choices that help us to grow and learn and change (if that is what we choose to do) and in the end, those choices mold our final destiny.
I believe that, ultimately, we will have to answer for those choices. But this is where my opinion differs from most…

I don’t believe in God — at least not like that. I don’t think that I am going to heaven and that I will have to explain to God why I messed up the things I did. I honestly think that there is way too much shit going on “down here” on Earth for God to care about whether or not I brushed my teeth before bed or if I looked both ways before crossing the street. Plus, how can we truly know that God didn’t just get sick of our hedonistic planet (a really long time ago) and go off and create another one, leaving us here to fend for ourselves?

I believe that my beliefs and choices (aka – actions) “build” my karma and that karma decides my destiny because those are the things that I believe.
I believe in reincarnation.
I believe that my level  (or, for lack of a better word, score) of “goodness” or “badness” will determine the type of new being that I become when my body dies and my spirit is reborn.
I also believe that our actions in our past lives effect what happens to us in our current lives.

So, in my reality, it only makes sense that I will be reincarnated but others may not…

  • Door To HellIf you believe that you will be judged by your maker and go to heaven/hell based on your goodness/badness — that will be what happens to you (but I say this belief gives people a false sense of security. Like — asking for forgiveness doesn’t mean a damn thing if you’re planning on doing that same “bad” thing again… My dad drowns hundreds of squirrels in a bucket every summer and he still thinks that he’s getting into heaven. I think he will be a bit upset when God expresses His disappointment in him for all the creatures he killed in cold blood — just so they didn’t eat the bird food in the hanging feeders?!?! Really?)
  • If you believe that once your body has died, everything is dead — that will be what happens to you. (I think this one sounds kind of sad and hopeless, but this is what some people want… And it might be a more “motivational” way of living. I can’t judge because I do not know.)
  • If you believe that after you die, your spirit will be free to choose a new existence — that will be what happens to you. (Yay! That’s me! I want to try again and again and again until I “get it right”!)

In the end, I believe that each one of us will get exactly what we prepare ourselves for… Whether it be heaven, total nothingness or the re-emergence of a new self.

Through the Window (YUCK!)

Through the Window (YUCK!)

ps-crane-hookI  gaze out my office window for just a minute to see two portable urinals floating high above the 4th floor of our office’s new partially-completed parking structure. Ewww! YUCK!

This is something that I never thought I would wonder about…

Is that how they do that? Does that mean that there were two port-a-johns “airlifted” OFF of the garage before and I missed that part?! How often do the potties get “changed”? Why haven’t I noticed this before?Help!

I didn’t even know that’s how those things are transported! What happens if they tip? What if one of them is too full? What if there’s still someone inside?

          “Heads up!!!”

I knew they were up there, I just never wondered how they got there…

Now I kind of wish that I didn’t know. You know? 😉

I wish I were…

I wish I were…

If things were different…

They just wouldn’t be the same…

My father used to say that all the time. I totally hated it!

Of course I wish things were different. Pretty much I wish that every day! Doesn’t everyone? But I don’t think that I can just wish away all the things that I don’t like. Some of the choices that I regret have turned me into the person that I love now! It would also mean that some of the things I enjoy and appreciate wouldn’t be the same – in fact, they might just cease to exist for me. And, although I won’t remember (because those things would not have happened), I might wish things were different then, too. Who can say what paradoxes I will create in my imagination trying to make things ideal?

“The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” Patrick Star, SpongeBob Squarepants

If things were different, would I still love SpongeBob Squarepants? Would he still be my hero? Or, would I be voting for Mitt Romney in this year’s election instead? (I know they seem drastically different, but in my mind if I don’t like the one, I must be a “fan” of the other.)

If things were different, my two perfect daughters would be different. Maybe they would still be perfect, but they would be different. I would be different, too… How would I still know that they’re perfect? Heck, would I even have two daughters?

If things were different, my husband would take care of himself (or would he?). He would take responsibility for his actions and clean up after himself. He would act like an adult and treat me like his wife and not his mother. Or, maybe I would have gone through with that divorce 10 years ago. That sure would have changed things! I probably wouldn’t have moved to the lovely place where I live now, far from the repression of family and old memories. I would still be fat and unhappy. I would still be sealed inside my shell of self-protection – shielded from reality… And I would never have met all of these wonderful new people who care about me.

  • I wish I were richer. Then I would be able to take my daughters to Disneyland.
  • I wish I were taller. I don’t know why, I just think it would be more fun for me that way 😉
  • I wish I were sexier. Then I would have more self-confidence.
  • I wish my husband and I were divorced. Then I would have more freedom for myself, and I would be able to teach my daughters about healthy relationships. Really, I think I just wish that I had chosen someone else with whom to spend eternity.
  • I wish I never found out that my father drowns squirrels in a barrel in the garage every summer and then buries them all over the yard! In 2011 he killed 42. The last I heard this year, he was up to 39! What are they doing?! Keeping score?! Well, umm, you’re winning, you can stop already! FYI – squirrels mate for f***ing life, A**-holes!!!!!
  • I wish my mother had never told me that she wished I was more like my little brother and that she likes him better and always has.
  • I wish my parents were Democrats. Then they would just be completely different people than they are right now 😉 and that would be a good thing for everyone!

But some of those wishes are things that I cannot change (but if I keep wishing for it, maybe they will!) and will always be completely beyond my control.

“If wishes were horses, we’d all be eating steak” – Jayne Cobb, Firefly

I wish I had made different choices for my future a long, long time ago. But none of that matters now. I love the person that I have become, the things I have been forced to learn about myself and all of the world around me. If I had made different choices, I would be different too.

I don’t know what it would be like if all the things I wished for came true. All I know is that — things would definitely not be the same. I guess my father was right.

So, I guess the short version is: I wish I were exactly the same as I am right now!

(My attempt at this week’s DPChallenge: “I Wish I Were”)