Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

“Army of Me”

Army of Me

by Christina Aguilera

StrongPerson

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“Monday Morning”

One of my very favorite songs…

by Fleetwood Mac

Monday morning you sure look fine
Friday I got travelin’ on my mind
First you love me, then you fade away
I can’t go on believin’ this way
I got nothing but love for you
So tell me what you really want to do
First you love me then you get on down the line
But I don’t mind, I don’t mind

I’ll be there if you want me to
No one else that could ever do
Got to get some peace in my mind
Monday morning you look so fine
Friday I got travelin’ on my mind
First you love me, then you say it’s wrong
I can’t go on believing for long

But you know it’s true
You only want me when I get over you
First you love me then you get on down the line
But I don’t mind, I don’t mind
I’ll be there if you want me to
No one else that could ever do
Got to get some peace in my mind

monday

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Scared

I’m scared.

Scared of my feelings.

I like him so much.

Remember what happened the last time I fell so hard for someone…?

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My Response/s

I find it oddly coincidental that I received so much communication from you immediately after I re-opened my Ashley Madison account.

Why did you wait to send all of your emails at the same exact second? Why couldn’t you send each email one at a time, every 2-3 days starting last Sunday…??? If you had done that, this wouldn’t even be happening and we would probably be on “better terms” as you say.

This is stoopid hard! In fact, I don’t even know why you keep coming back… Is it so you can let me down again and then be able punish/hate yourself for fucking up again? Do you want (or need) me (or your wife) to be disappointed in you? Are you creating distance between us on purpose? Why are you making it so hard for me to be vulnerable with you? Why do you find it so difficult to be vulnerable with me? I don’t understand… It always seemed like Loserman was doing all of that, too…

I don’t believe you are being entirely forthcoming with me. My thinking that you are keeping things from me doesn’t help me to trust you.

Your poem was entirely too cryptic…

We had become attached.
There was more to it than that.
The layers and partitions have changed.
It was never my intention to become estranged.
Strange how this works.
Both women in my life are saying I am making them hurt.
I apologize for my change in focus.
My changes, are the things that broke us…

 

(his response to my post Fade Away)

I just want to give up every time things get tough. I like you a big fat shit ton, but I’m not actually convinced that you like me as much as you think you should/do. Or maybe you feel sorry for me and don’t want to hurt my feelings. That’s how it seems from here.

I don’t want pity. I need help. I need to know that you will keep your word and not be entirely consumed by every squirrel that darts past…

you-were-born-to-be-real-p

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Fade Away

Image result for if you ignore me quotes

I wish I could tear my heart away from you

As easily as you have withdrawn yours from me

Talking to me less and less

As if you’ve completely lost interest

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