Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Over It

Since Alaska pretty much shunned me last Monday, I’ve had little-to-nothing to say to him.

In all honesty, I am disgusted.

Disgusted with him.

Disgusted with myself.

DIS – GUS – TED

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Giving Into Temptation

timegiven-300x224Monday morning I caved. I reached out to Alaska.

To be honest, I actually sent him a text Friday morning about my horrible “coffee” date Thursday night. His text response was, “That’s why I don’t date.” Then he called me about 15 minutes after that to check on me and make sure I was actually okay. (At this point, I had not yet made arrangements to have drinks with Rock Star.)

It was bad that Alaska called. I shouldn’t have answered. He was sweet and attentive and concerned. It made me think about him and his bed and his arms and our conversations… He’s a comfortable place that I wanted to return to. Hanging up with him was difficult because all I wanted to do was ask if I could see him.

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Learning Curve

Every time something ends with a guy, I want to run back.

Maybe it’s because I don’t know how to deal with feelings of loss.

Maybe it’s because I want to stay with what’s familiar.

Maybe it’s fear that I won’t be able to find something as good. I mean, the relationship has ended, but it was something. If that something wasn’t good, I probably wouldn’t have stuck around for as long as I did (or want to go back, for that matter).

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