Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Monday Motivation: The Future

Usually I don’t look forward

I typically look back when I’m trying to find answers

And place blame…

… searching for reasons to explain why I am who I am

Maybe my answers aren’t in my past

Maybe they’re in the present

Maybe I’m my only problem

I don’t want to be who I’ve become

But I can’t keep blaming my past

It’s over and what’s done is done

I may not know my meaning right now, but my future will help me discover it

It’s up to me to keep myself open and hopeful;

Try new things with an open and unjudging spirit;

Learn to trust my intuition again

The future can teach me more than the past ever could!

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Life is Hard (and scary, too)

Life is overwhelming me. So much so, that I am curious how I’ve made it this far.

I mean, my kids are grown and I am 49 years old. Somehow I managed to get married and stay married for 20 years. I found the courage to get a divorce… I’ve interviewed for many jobs, left those jobs for new ones, made friends and met new people, moved from MN to CO…

But, the past couple of years haven’t been going very smoothly for me and life has become increasingly difficult.

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Slay the Dragon!

It’s okay to miss him

It’s not okay to take him back

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Fear of Success?

Fear of Success
Is that a thing?
Because, if it is, I think I have it…

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Writing is Therapy

whatyouare

I’ve been remiss with my “therapy” and it’s been showing in my everyday life.

As my writing has dropped off, so have my spirits.

To be honest, I stopped writing because I was feeling stupid for the choices I was making and I no longer wanted to share them here for fear of being judged.

Because I am judging myself.

It’s already been 5 months and I am still trying *not* to hate myself for the choices I made with Jim/Mick.

…still trying to convince myself that the terrible things he wrote about me are not true.

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I Should Have Sent the Original (aka The ‘Conversation’ We Had Instead)

I think what you read about “ritual” is somewhat valid. The reason that I spent so much time on your neck yesterday was to reestablish your place. I am not sure that it needs to be at a particular time or place during our play. Last week was very different in that I gave you a break from the pain in so far as whipping or the bondage since you nearly freaked out the week before. You were more lover than sub, just to remind you that I am fair and not just here to torture you. If you are not of sound mind and body you are not much “good” to me. I have no desire for you to fear me. Your submission comes from respect. I welcome your suggestions on how I might win your submission more readily.

The pattern of what we do during play time is mostly the same. The difference is the positions and toys or tools. Here is the part where I don’t agree with “ritual”. If you get the same thing every time, then you expect it. I don’t think you should be able to anticipate what I will have in store for you next. You are supposed to be here for my pleasure. That should mean whatever I wish to do as well as whenever I wish to do it.

And as far as your libido, I will take care of that for you. Your imagination doesn’t have to be great either. It is my place to stimulate you and find new ways to take charge of your orgasms. Whether it be bring you to the edge of orgasm and deny it, or to give you more than you think you are capable of. I can take you to the point of mere mention of my touch will make you creamy, or a simple touch will make you shudder uncontrollably. Then, Daddy’s girl will know who she belongs to.

The response I probably should have sent is HERE

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Word of the Day: Finifugal

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“Don’t Be Shy”

Don’t Be Shy

by Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens)

Don’t be shy, just let your feelings roll on by
Don’t wear fear or nobody will know you’re there
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead
And don’t be shy, just let your feeling roll on by

On by, on by, on by
On by, on by, on by
On by, on by, on by

You know love is better than a song
Love is where all of us belong
So don’t be shy just let your feelings roll on by
Don’t wear fear or nobody will know you’re there

You’re there, you’re there, you’re there
You’re there, you’re there, you’re there
You’re there, you’re there, you’re there

You don’t be shy, just let your feelings roll on by
And don’t wear fear or nobody will know you’re there
Just lift your head, and let your feelings out instead
No, don’t be shy, just let your feeling roll on by

On by, on by, on by
On by, on by, on by
On by, on by, on by

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Monday Motivation: Letting Go

I am still working on this… It’s been almost a year, yet every day I still think of Loserman and wish for what we had… But also every day I tell myself that the Loverman I know and love is completely gone… After all, Life is Shadows, and shadows are impermanent and ever-changing… Both good and bad..
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replace

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Fear of Rejection

atelophobiafear of rejection

fear

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