Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

And Now for Some Fetish

Last Friday night Mr. Nice Guy and I went out on another, quite lovely date.

He has a serious shoe fetish and, a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that he should take me to Designer Shoe Warehouse (DSW) where I could model shoes for him and he could take pictures.

He went absolutely crazy over the idea. So, last Friday evening he took me out shopping. Let me tell you that it was a lovely diversion from the Mick drama over the past few days.

First, we met in parking lot of the sex shop (Fascinations) near our work. (It’s where we always meet and we joke about it every time because there is a marijuana dispensary right across the street! How fitting, right?)

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Wetness

wetness

Tuesday morning after our last “round” of morning sex before I had to leave…

Alaska: I’ve literally spent the last day trying to fuck the wetness out of you and you just don’t stop!

Me (once I finished laughing my ass off): I told you…! I’m insatiable. But, it has happened before. Give it a couple of days… Did I wear you out?

Alaska: Yeah. A little bit…

Me: And you thought you were strange…

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“I Can’t Decide”

I Can’t Decide
by the Scissor Sisters

super cute fan video!

and a fun song…

It’s not easy having yourself a good time
Greasing up those bets and betters
Watching out they don’t four-letter
Fuck and kiss you both at the same time
Smells-like something I’ve forgotten
Curled up died and now it’s rotten

I’m not a gangster tonight
Don’t want to be a bad guy
I’m just a loner baby
And now you’re gotten in my way

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride

It’s a bitch convincing people to like you
If I stop now call me a quitter
If lies were cats you’d be a litter
Pleasing everyone isn’t like you
Dancing jigs until I’m crippled
Slug ten drinks I won’t get pickled

I’ve got to hand it to you
You’ve played by all the same rules
It takes the truth to fool me
And now you’ve made me angry

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride

Oh I could throw you in the lake
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake
I wont deny I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone
Oh I could bury you alive
But you might crawl out with a knife
And kill me when I’m sleeping
That’s why

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride

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Simple vs. Complicated

FINE

As my emotions start to clear out of my head a bit, I am less confused on some things and more on others: less about TC and more about me.

Actually, TC is quite simple here. He’s not even being mean about it. He’s just being himself and I can’t fault him for that. He’s vulnerable with me in the ways he’s comfortable being vulnerable with me when he feels comfortable. It’s only confusing to me because he can be so open, but then he becomes so closed off. It’s like a switch is flipped, turning things inside of him on and off in an instant. I am not really defending him as much as stating a fact.

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Teasing Scorpio

I was bored and horny last Friday evening, so I thought I would harass the hell out of Scorpio. (He’s staying with an aunt about two hours away. She recently had surgery and he’s staying with her to help out.)

GonnaDo

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Tonight

CuddlingCouple

Tonight I wish he was here to hold me and support me, tell me I did good and that he’s proud of me.

The last two afternoons have been tough and I am proud of myself for having gotten through them, but I wish I could get really drunk and have my brains fucked out for the rest of the night…

I feel so lost

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Do I Need a Master?

Maybe I need to try something different.

panties_in_a_bunch

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