Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Long Day

BangHeadHere_thumb[9]
…pay your invoice on time and, for the 4th time, NO, we will not automatically charge your card every month…
…stop asking the same questions every single week…

…can’t wait for date night and some tequila…

banging-head

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Fantasies

Michty_Mac_Handcuffs_2I want to tell Loverman about a fantasy I’ve been having recently. I’ve had it on and off in the past (because he’s a security guard), but role-playing fantasy isn’t usually my thing. Maybe it’s the books I’ve been reading lately, because not only do I want to DO it, I want to tell Loverman that I want to do it!

Hopefully this could be a game that he might like to play, too.

Every once in a while I share something with him. Like when we were on our way back from our KC sk8-venture and we stopped at the Adult Store on the way home. While were in there looking and touching, I told him that I would like to get one of those remote-control vibrators and have him put it on/in me (depending…) and just play with the remote whenever he feels the need: at the movies, at dinner, while we’re strolling through the mall, etc… I even showed him the one I thought would work best and asked him what he thought about it. He was deeply concentrating and never answered; I’m not even sure if he heard me (though I’m pretty sure he did).

We have a date night tonight and I am thinking I could “bring it up” with him this evening. I keep re-running scenarios over and over in my head; I have been for the last two weeks. Maybe I will have enough courage (wine) to tell him about one of them.

I’m sitting at the bar and minding my business and up comes Mr. Loverman-Security-Guard with a simple, “Excuse me, Ma’am, but are you xxxxx?”

Ummm, yes officer. Is there something wrong?

“Ma’am, I am going to have to take you with me for questioning. Please be cooperative. I don’t want to make a scene.”

sexy cop

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Update

Terminal - 2013

Terminal
by Ivan Koulakov

Whew… It’s been busy…

Work has finally quieted down a little bit. The preliminary budget was submitted last Friday and, hopefully, this week I will have time to build a new database in my Access 2013!! I checked out the …For Dummies book from the library yesterday and I am ready to start learning!

Last Tuesday Loverman and I were back on our regular date-night schedule, we had a great time even though we kept it very simple and were both asleep by 10PM. We were exhausted and it was nice (comfortable) just to be together again.

Thing #2 turned 16 last Saturday. She had a couple of friends over and we played Apples to Apples. I had forgotten how infuriating it is to play games with (other people’s) teenagers, but we lived through it and she had a wonderful time! On the other hand, though, I am starting to feel a little old with my 18- and 16-year-old daughters.

I have no idea what we’re going be eating for Thanksgiving this year. It’s nice because we have that option. There is no extended family nearby that we have to cater to (no pun intended 😉 ), so basically we just make whatever we want. Thing #1 and I watch football and play video games. Everyone pretty much goes their own way and does their own thing. All I know is that I bought a Pecan Pie that was on sale at Wal-Mart this weekend, so I bought some and froze it for this Thursday.

We’ll probably have the standard turkey and stuffing fare — that’s what Mr. Doom-n-Gloom likes. He likes spending time on the turkey and I found a really yummy-looking stuffing recipe on BonAppetit.com that I want to try out. Do you think they have fennel at Sprouts? Is it seasonal? I have never used it in cooking before, but I would think that it should be kind of by the leeks, right?

cornbread-dressing-with-sausage-and-fennel1So, this Thanksgiving (as with every Thanksgiving for the past 5 years) I am thankful that we don’t have to drive all over hell and back (all in one day) in order to make all of the different extended family members happy. Now all we have to do is call people sometime to wish them a happy day and then take some pictures to send later.

I hope to say something more tomorrow if I have more time, but if I don’t:

happy-thanksgiving-snoopy1

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“Dude, Do You Know Where I Can Score Some Herb?”

Tuesday night we had so much fun!

Every once in a while Loverman gets some free room coupons for the casinos up in Blackhawk. This summer they were especially generous, so Loverman and I have been going up there for our Tuesday night dates (sleep-overs) for the past 7 weeks or so.

We are both comfortable creatures of habit, so usually we do the same things each time we go up:

  • check in to our room
  • go to a bar and have a couple of drinks (we tip very well because the drinks are free!)
  • stop at a deli/restaurant and pick up some dinner
  • return to our room to eat, watch a movie and knock some boots
  • wake up at the ass-crack of dawn for some sex in the morning and then scramble to shower and get me to work on time

There is one casino bar we prefer to go to because of the atmosphere, but recently, because we have been going on the same day each week, we’ve had the pleasure of being served by the same bartender each time (he’s adorably cute! Even Loverman says so). It turns out that if you tip well, your bartender will remember who you are and what you drink (and pour quite generously) even if you’ve only been to their bar one time before (except Loverman and I seem to be quite memorable — something I will have to address in a different post soon because it’s very strange — maybe that‘s why he remembered us. Anyway…).

I would like to take this opportunity to say: there must be something about a normally-dressed black man (t-shirt and jeans/slacks) with a professionally-dressed (not like a prostitute — at least most of the time) white woman that says, “Please ask me if I will sell you drugs”. It happens to us at least once a year.

*I* think that when we’re out we just look like a cute mixed couple, but somehow *everyone else* sees him as the pimp me as his ‘ho.Smoking Weed

After the cute bartender that works Tuesdays served us our second round, a gentleman in his late 40s approached Loverman, leaned over and said (not even quietly), “Dude, could you score me some herb?”

They always as him, but they never ask me.

Loverman: “Ummm. No.”

The man said “Okay, thanks” and walked away.

Me: “Did that guy just ask if you would sell him some weed?”

Loverman (giggling and shaking his head): “Yep. Why is it always us?”

Me: “I am just as shocked as you are… You know… He would have asked me…” and I winked at him.

Loverman got a dumbstruck look on his face and asked me, “You have some with you?!?!”

Me: “Ummm. No. But I’m the one they should be asking if they actually want some.” 😉

We talked about it for a few minutes more, laughing hysterically the entire time. After we settled down, we ordered another round of drinks and continued playing Deuces Wild Spin Poker. After a while, Loverman won back the $15 we had lost on some stupid slot machine that didn’t make any sense and we were finishing up our last round of drinks before leaving. A waitress came up to the bar to pick up her drinks and he says to me, “Wow. She is really poppin’ that uniform! Check it out!” (In case you don’t get it, “poppin” means, see below!)

Waitress Sona
by ~dutomaster on deviantart

Me: “Yeah, that shirt looks pretty tight. But, you know they’re not real, right?”

Loverman: “Yeah. I pretty much think they are. Do you think she would mind if I went up and asked her?” (he was just joking… Remember, we’ve been drinking…)

Me: “Probably. But you would probably have more luck if you told her that you and your girlfriend had a bet about it so you wanted to know. She would probably be more cool with that. Or, better yet, you could just ask the cute, nice bartender man. He would probably tell you.”

As luck would have it, Rick (cute nice bartender man) was just turning the corner so Loverman caught his attention, “Hey, Rick, can I ask you a question?”

Rick: “You can.”

Loverman: “That waitress over there… Are those real?”

Rick (very amused): “Uh, NO! Definitely not!”

Me (pretty tipsy and clapping because I was right): “See! I told you!!”

Rick to Loverman: “You should have winked or something so I knew it was a bet. I’m sorry, man.”

Fake BreastsLoverman: “That’s okay, man. I should have known she was right!”

Me: “Yeah, you should, because that’s just something that girls know.” Then I gave him a demonstration of how real boobs look. Even when they’re pushed up as far as they go, you still don’t get that curvy line at the top — that’s something that you only have when they’re new. We had a good laugh along with Rick, finished our drinks and returned to our room.

Every time we’re together it’s like a new adventure!

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Bright Side

I’ve given up on the bright side for now. Tonight’s belated birthday celebration/plans are cancelled (not postponed). I am so tired of always being last on the list {sigh}. I don’t know why I was getting my hopes up. Last night when I was trying to sleep I kept telling myself that even though thinking it’s going to happen will make me happier temporarily, the reality of it is: he has his brother’s broken car, he hasn’t slept a full night in over a week, he’s working a new job, stupid baby momma drama, his back is killing him, bowling league…

The fucking crappiest thing about it all is that after all of that, he won’t be coming home to

He’s going to be at his home with someone who probably won’t even acknowledge his presence when he enters the room.
He’ll be changing into something more comfortable to work on a car or something and she will be complaining about how he never tries to have sex with her any more. Then he will say “Hey, I’m mostly naked, how about right now?” (I hate that part). Then she will say, “I didn’t mean right now(I like that part).
Then, it will be later when he’s trying to relax , she will come down asking for a back rub, get a really fucking good one, and then go to bed without returning the favor.
After really not resting at all, he will have to get his weary ass back up again to work a 12-hour on-your-feet shift at a new job that he doesn’t even know yet. (for the record, I am so jealous and resentful of her words cannot describe!)
Wash, rinse, repeat…

  • I want to be the one he comes home to so he has a hot meal, a comfortable warm bed and a luxurious back rub.
  • I want to have his warm, luxurious body next to me while he rests peacefully on my breasts.
  • I want, I want, I want.

I just can’t stop being selfish, even after all of that — knowing the shitpile that is on his plate right now. (And he’s pushing me away instead of letting me help. Infuriating!) I guess I am addicted to the happiness I feel when he’s around. I know, I know, I know… But I really like being happy. I really like making him feel happy when he’s down in the dumps – but I can’t do it right now. It’s frustrating as HELL! (and I miss him, too! My insides are tearing apart. He’s been gone too freaking long!)

My tagline is “why do good feelings have to feel so good?” It must be so the bad ones can feel so bad.

I’ve been trying to look at the bright side with my ‘uplifting attitude’, but it stopped working after I received the text cancelling tonight and I can only see the dark side now. Futility sucks. I wish I had more control over my life and the things that make me happy. I wasn’t ready for a new lesson in suffering and appreciation and sacrifice. But, I guess I had it coming, I have been kind of selfish.

The cruel part of me told me all afternoon that he’s going to surprise me when I get off work and that this is him just teasing me. Although he’s never been that cruel to me before… Even in a loving way. But that didn’t happen. (of course)

The mega-bitch part of me kind of wanted to put that super-hot-cougar dress and fuck-me boots on and go to a bar. After all, I wasn’t supposed to be home tonight… (but I already know where that could end up, so I made a different choice this time and I’m watching Family Feud and drinking tequila instead…)

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