Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine's Day

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How Is It Free Will if I Have to Ask Permission?

You will talk to me about it and we will communicate. I simply want to know what’s going on.

Isn’t that how all relationships should be?

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Monday Motivation: Kindness

kindness

kindness2

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The Sweetest Gift!

Saturday night Loverman got to go skating with me. Again. I was so happy I think I was glowing.

Afterwards, we chatted for a while in my truck before I dropped him off and went back home. Usually, on my skate nights, I have to park far away from our building because I get there so late that all the good spots are taken. Then, sometime on Sunday, I move Bear closer to our building when a spot opens up.

This night wasn’t any different. But Sunday was.

This week, Loverman stopped by and moved my truck closer to my apartment while I was watching the football game.

As a surprise.

And, while he was moving it, he put my birthday present in the back seat.

After he left, he called me and asked how the Broncos were doing.

We chatted for a minute and then he asked, “I left something in Bear last night after skating. Can you please go out and check if it’s in there?”

“What did you leave?”

“I think I dropped my I-pod. Why don’t you have your mini-me (Thing #1) go check and see, I know your knee is probably hurting after skating last night,” he replied. “Can you put her on the phone?”

“I’ll go check. I have to move the truck anyway, so I might as well do both. Here she is.” I handed her the phone and got up from the couch to change into more ‘outside-appropriate’ clothes to move the truck and look for his I-pod. As I was changing, I was also listening to the one-sided conversation and I finally started to figure out what was going on.

Talk about dense. I really should have figured things out earlier, but Loverman had already said Happy Birthday to me when I dropped him off after skating at 1:00AM. He never has any money and this time he told me he only had $5 left, so I was happy with the words and that he even remembered — and the fact that he got to come skating me again this Saturday!

While they were talking, Loverman instructed Thing #1 to go out to Bear with me, but not to spoil the surprise.

She returned the phone to me and I continued talking to him as we walked out to the truck, unlocked it and started to look for his I-pod.

Thing #1 spoke up from the back seat, “Found it!” and handed me my birthday gift from Loverman, “It was here in the back on the floor next to your roller skates.”

TheSweetestGift

The card says, on the outside:

Another birthday and you’ve still got it

And on the inside:

So flaunt it!

And have a great day

Then he wrote his own words to me:

Happy Happy Birthday and many more!!!
Your Best Friend,
Loverman

It was so sweet. It melted my heart.

The card said the most perfect words about his feelings to me and,  what he said might seem very contrite to an outsider, but he has to be extremely careful what he writes to me because just about anyone could see it; there are people who know we’re married to other people, and to them we are best friends.

I thanked him and giggled at him. I wanted to kiss and hug him all over! Which is probably why he left before he called to tell me about my surprise.

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Happy Gifting Season!

Christmas Tree by Love1008 on DeviantArt

Christmas Tree
by Love1008 on DeviantArt

Happy Friday, everyone! We are officially another week closer to Christmas. This weekend I will be making peanut brittle for my father and Monday I will be shipping off the box to MN with everyone’s stuff, hoping that it will get there on time. My mom is getting some shower gel and a gift card for Massage Envy and my brother’s family is getting a $100 gift certificate to spend on seafood.

My far-away family is super easy to shop for. Partly because they are far away and partly because none of us really try. I am not saying that to be mean, I am just saying it because it’s true. My mother is the one to shop for family gifts and she tends to buy “baby” gifts for my adult-like daughters and she always buys clothing for me that she gets from “Abdul the tent-maker” (I am not so very overweight as that, but in her mind I must be so huge she can’t even guess what to give me. Ummmm, let’s just stop with the clothes then and get me some jewelery, okay? I just got my nose pierced this year for my birthday… My toe ring broke 3 weeks ago…). My brother usually sends us all a family-type gift card for dinner out or something like that — usually to a restaurant I have told him that I DO NOT like, so that gift ends up getting sold on E-bay.

When it comes to Mr. Doom-n-Gloom‘s family, I leave that up to him. He never really gets them anything. He doesn’t have a credit card or even a bank account so everything he buys has to be in cash. No online shopping for him (which is where I have been doing ALL my shopping). Also, he doesn’t have a driver’s license so it’s not like he can actually go shopping anywhere (lord knows why he can’t take the freaking bus! and the post office is only 3 blocks away!).

You get it, right?

Good, because I don’t really know what I’m trying to say. Hopefully you weren’t reading this post for some kind of inspiration or plot or anything…

Conversely, when it comes to my daughters, I love getting them presents!!! Especially when I can afford to. And I am usually pretty good at it, if I can say so myself! What’s really great is that, this year, our employer gave us a very generous bonus. One that has allowed me to go completely ape-shit crazy (relatively speaking) with presents!

I am pretty obsessed with fairness when it comes to my girls, so I tried very hard to make sure that this list is as equal as humanly possible. I think I have achieved success, but it can be challenging because they are so different and I have more things in common with one than the other…

Either way I know that both of them will be happy with what I got them because it came from my heart with the bestest of intentions. Let me try and break it down for you…

Thing #2 is getting:

  • A pair of Women’s combat boots (very goth-chic)
  • Leather  winter boots (so she doesn’t have to wear the combat boots all the time)
  • New winter jacket
  • Cute animal-of-the-day socks
  • Awesome slippers
  • Stretchy fleece leggings
  • Smelly stuff from Bath & Body

Thing #1 is getting:

  • Gift certificate for 2 hours of tattoo art
  • Winter Boots (fashionable)
  • Professional dressy work socks
  • Sweet headphones for her MP3 player (for listening on the bus)
  • Cute Denver Broncos Santa Hat
  • Awesome Slippers
  • Stretchy fleece leggings
  • Smelly stuff from Bath & Body

I even got them gifts to give me (even Doom-n-Gloom):

  • Two pairs of boots
  • Gift certificate for 2 hours of tattoo art
  • Cute Denver Broncos Santa Hat
  • Red sparkly Jennifer Lopez sweater
  • Smelly stuff from Bath & Body

Family gifts from Santa are:

  • Wii Fit
  • Rechargeable AA batteries
  • Gift certificate for $100 of seafood (same one I got my brother, I thought it looked way to yummy to pass up!)

Lastly and leastly there is Mr. Doom-n-Gloom:

  • shirt.woot.com t-shirt desgined by Wil Wheaton (I had already ordered it when he told me he wanted it. Mwahahahahaha!!!)
  • Pair of Keen hiking boots (his favorite brand)
  • Smelly man-stuff from Bath & Body
  • I will also give both the girls some money and take them to the mall to buy him stuff like I did last year

Loverman’s presents are different. I haven’t gotten them yet, except for some smelly man-lotion from Bath & Body 😉 . He needs a new computer and I was thinking about getting him one, but that’s a lot of money and I don’t think he would go for it. Usually I end up getting us a really nice hotel stay on Groupon or something like that and take him out for a “fancy” dinner (I guess I am taking him to the office holiday party this Saturday, that’s kind of a gift, right!)… And I will probably get him that remote-control vibrating butterfly we saw at the Adult Superstore… But that’s more like a gift for me…

Eve 4

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That Creepy Feeling You Get… (aka: How to Give a Gift)

… when a stranger starts undressing you with their eyes …

Strange Love - Pop 170by Thomas C. Fedro

Strange Love – Pop 170
by Thomas C. Fedro

Mr. Doom-n-Gloom is being strange this week. Am I surprised? Not really. I know that it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow… And maybe he feels like he has to “make up” for last year.

** BTW – he doesn’t. I am totally over his stupidness and I would really have preferred it if he didn’t get me anything, but it’s his right. After all, I did get HIM something (I haven’t given it to him yet), but not because he’s my Valentine. I got it because I got stuff for my daughters and I didn’t want him to feel left out — like in grade school when everyone has to give something to everyone? But he already got my present and he already gave it to me Saturday: a pot of tulips. They were very pretty! For tulips…

I know it’s the thought that counts, and because of that (and my younger, hypersensitive daughter was along and she helped choose the gift) I very graciously accepted them (almost a week early — why can’t he EVER FUCKING WAIT until the actual holiday?!?! Every single time he buys the present in front of me and then just gives it to me right there. WTF!??! Does he even know how to give a gift?!). AND I don’t like tulips. I have never liked tulips the entire time I have been married to this man. In fact, I have told him numerous times, while passing by or looking at some tulips, why I don’t like them!

The strangeness is this: Mr. Doom-n-Gloom does not notice anything about me. Ever!
I could parade in front of him naked, and I have, and he won’t even look up from the computer where he’s sitting. I can leave the house in a miniskirt that barely covers my ass along with a see-through tank top and I don’t even get a “good-bye”… Won’t he be surprised when he finally notices what I’ve started doing with my coochie! 😉

SalvationArmyFirst instance — this Saturday my daughters and I went to the thrift store and got some awesome stuff!! When we got home we were posing for each other in some of that awesome stuff — the husband came out and said to me “don’t you already have that shirt?” He rarely ever says anything about how I look, I didn’t even think he knew I HAD shirts!!! (unlike Loverman who is overly generous with the compliments — Yay!) And, no, I don’t have that shirt. None of us has ever had that shirt, or anything like it…

Second instance — yesterday morning, for a very long time, the husband was lurking outside of the bathroom where/while I was getting ready for work (it was a little creepy and I started getting uncomfortable) when, out of the blue, he said “nice underwear(thank goodness I had my underwear ON!). As soon as he said it, he walked away…

Both of these times I think he was trying to compliment me, but I can’t tell because A) neither instance really seemed like a compliment, and B) he simply doesn’t compliment me. Ever!

I wonder if that has anything to do with my feeling of uncomfortable and creepy?

Also, this might have something to do with it…

I no longer want the husband to see me in my BVDs. The days of my prancing around uselessly naked in front of him trying to get his attention are long gone. I am no longer comfortable with him seeing my naked body — and it’s not because I groom more frequently down there than I used to. I no longer want to show him “my sexy self”.

I do not fear being naked; I do not have a negative self-image (my nose may be a bit too big…), I just don’t want him taking a crisp mental picture and using it later to help him ‘open his bottle of Squirt’ (if you catch my drift).

friday_68That can’t be normal, right? Yesterday, it kind of felt like the husband was leering at me through some pervy sex-offender’s eyes. Is that normal? I’m horrified that he is getting ideas about a Valentines Day “happy ending” tomorrow… Thinking about it actually fills me with dread. Like: please don’t make me have sex with you tomorrow!

But, if I do have to ‘lay with him’, at least I can be assured that it won’t last more than 1 minute (to the best my knowledge, he hasn’t had real sex with a real person for the last 3 years — not that I would care either way… So, I am thinking that the feeling of a warm, wet pussy will put him over the edge immediately. It has every single other time!). Then he will basque in the glory of his spontaneous ejaculation while he brags about how awesome he was (because apparently, in his universe, the faster he cums the more I enjoy it — which is partially true, but only because I am so glad it’s over!) and drills me about how awesome it was for me. I lie every time. I have to or he starts acting like a spoiled teenage girl all over again. He hasn’t given me an orgasm for over 6 years!

gift-wrappedSo, here’s an idea for my next gift:

  1. Don’t pick it out with your teenage daughter
  2. Make sure I am NOT with you!!!!!
  3. Go to the liquor store (or your nearest Sex Toy Shoppe)
  4. Buy what you KNOW I like — I have shown you what and where it is, all you have to do is remember and pay (purchase the coolest, most expensive vibrating penis toy you can possibly find)
  5. Purchase some chocolates – again, I have told you many, many times exactly what chocolates I like. Do NOT buy me hard candy! (Find the lubricant section and get me something fun and fruity. NO lingerie, please, you will NOT get to see it!)
  6. Acquire wrapping paper and tape
  7. Wrap the gift
  8. Wait to give me the gift until it’s time to give me the gift!!!

Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezie…

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Have you started your holiday shopping?

Now I won’t have to worry about my holiday shopping.

Here’s a cute blurb about this great holiday/birthday/office gift: http://www.askmen.com/entertainment/gadget/ouch-the-voodoo-doll-toothpick-holder.html

(there’s also a link to the Fred & Friends website in case you would like to purchase one. And, no, I am not getting paid for this endorsement 😉 )

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Gratitude, Part 1

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