Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Letting Go

PassThrough

It occurred to me last Thursday morning that, maybe I am holding back on really liking Alaska because I am holding on to Loserman so tightly.

Why? I don’t know. There is still a part of me deep inside that wants him back, that yearns for his body to hold mine against his…

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment »

There’s Still Hope

Monday night I received a text from Scorpio:

Hey just to let you know I got some of that money ready for you to pick up whenever you want

I was SO surprised! Based on my past experiences with men (and a recent conversation) I honestly thought I would never hear from Scorpio ever again.

We met on Tuesday night after work and he paid me $100 of the $140.

He greeted me with a hug and I’ll admit that it was pretty awkward. We haven’t even spoken, only exchanged a few texts about the money he owes me from our Sk8cation a month ago.

Also, he had a friend with him and I didn’t know if they were expecting me to give them a ride or what. I asked if they needed a ride, they discussed it for a minute and decided to stick with Plan A: take the bus.

Scorpio told his buddy that he was going to talk to me in my car for a second and would be right back.

Read the rest of this entry »

Leave a comment »

An Interesting Development

A couple of weeks ago at Sunday night skating, I was talking to Sexy Skaterman about his on-again-off-again girlfriend, Amy, and mentioned that Loserman and I were no longer ‘seeing’ each other.

We talked about it for a couple of minutes, but I’m not ready to deal with the pain of talking about it, so I said my peace and we went on and skated.

I appreciate that he didn’t take the opportunity to hit on me. It was nice that he just apologized and said, “I don’t think you guys are done yet.” (‘you guys’ = me and Loserman)

But he did end up introducing me to one of his buddies.

Here’s how it went down:

I left the skate session 15 minutes early because the music started getting a little too mushy for me — couples were all skating sexy on the floor… I started to miss stupid Loserman my old skate partner, and I didn’t want to think about it, so I left.

When I got out to the car, I realized that I didn’t have my keys in my jacket pocket.

I started to freak out!

…breathe…

I could see the keys hanging from the ignition. *sigh*

My purse was in the trunk, but I had my cell phone in my pocket. Good thing I have AAA on speed dial…

I called and was told that someone would be out to help me in less than 60 minutes. I was satisfied with that.

While I waited, a few of my friends talked to me and said good-bye. You know, regular stuff.

The parking lot had mostly cleared out and there were only a dozen or so cars scattered around. Skaterman just happened to be parked two spaces away from me with only empty spots between us.

He came out of the rink while I was waiting for the locksmith to arrive, accompanied by a very handsome young man.

I didn’t think anything of it. Skaterman is very friendly and tons of people skate with him and talk with him. He teaches people skate moves. Sometimes he gives people rides.

While we were chatting, I explained what had happened and why I was just standing out in the parking lot waiting at my car. Skaterman laughed because, just that morning, he and his girlfriend had locked themselves out of their car!

After a good laugh about that, Skaterman introduced me to his handsome young friend “Scorpio“.

I had seen Scorpio the last few times I’d been this rink (not my ‘normal’ rink. I started skating somewhere else because I’m sick of everyone asking me where Loserman is). I thought he was totally cute, but very out of my league! That didn’t stop me, though! I would still smile at him when I skated past. That’s just the way I am: I can get a really intense look on my face when I’m skating, so I smile at people so they don’t think I am angry or whatever.

We stood and talked in the parking lot until AAA arrived. The AAA truck drove to someone else’s car, talked to someone else, and then left.

WTF?!?!

I immediately called AAA to tell them that the locksmith had shown up, but talked to someone else. The woman at AAA confirmed that my ticket had been closed.

WTF?!?!

After asking again for them to please help me get into my car, AAA called the locksmith again and asked him to call me and clear things up.

As this is all happening, I realize that this is the first impression Scorpio is getting of me. So, I tried to be my nicest self even though I was standing in the freezing cold: frustrated and shivering (and kind of wishing he would pull me into the giant leather coat he was wearing…).

The locksmith apologized and said he would be back shortly to unlock my car.

The second time we waited in Skaterman’s warmed-up car. We talked more about his girlfriend who broke her wrist skating the week before, and I got to know Scorpio a little better.

We didn’t talk about much else. Skaterman and I did most of the talking while Scorpio sat in the back seat and listened.

Every once in a while, he reached up as he was saying something and touched my shoulder. When he did that I would looked back at him and smile. It was nice and, every time he touched me, I could feel the electricity from him through my heavy winter jacket!

Finally the locksmith arrived a second time. It took him less than 3 minutes to unlock the door, get my information for his paperwork and be on his merry way!

As I said good-bye to him, Scorpio pulled me in close and hugged me tight. Holy Shit! Again with the electricity! Wow! My face was against his neck and took a huge amount of effort on my part not to kiss him right under his ear (that’s my spot – I love kissing there), but I did inhale as much of him as I could 😉 There was palpable energy between us. Before I could pull away from him completely, he started asking me for my number.

We exchanged information, then Skaterman gave me a hug and told me everything would be okay (re: Loserman).

Both of them asked me to send a text letting them know when I made it home safely.

MeetingScorpio1a

The next morning, on my way to work, I got this:

MeetingScorpio1b
Beautiful text. But, ummm… What??? ???

MeetingScorpio1c

I read it to Thing #1 when I got home that night.

Her response was:

Wow, Mom! And you didn’t even have sex with him!

*smh*

Leave a comment »

Tonight

CuddlingCouple

Tonight I wish he was here to hold me and support me, tell me I did good and that he’s proud of me.

The last two afternoons have been tough and I am proud of myself for having gotten through them, but I wish I could get really drunk and have my brains fucked out for the rest of the night…

I feel so lost

7 Comments »