Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

I Miss Us

The other day my broken heart felt like a panic attack

It started racing

My mind chased after

I had to remind myself to breathe…

Stop thinking…

“Why do you let him have that much power over you?” I asked myself

thepeacelovetrain-buddha

I miss us.

Not Loserman so much, but US…

What we were together

When we were awesome

Or were we ever really awesome?

Was I just lying to myself because I wanted us to be awesome?

I am SO angry with him for breaking us

For making me question what we were

I don’t even want us back

I don’t think we could even have us back

So now I’m trying to start fresh all over again

With someone else

Something different we’re learning together

It’s hard to be newly vulnerable and trusting

While I’m still hurting

But he’s being vulnerable, too

I am thankful for this blog so I can just word-puke it all out there

And I don’t have to try and explain all these feelings to Mr. X

He’s trying to help me, but I’m blocking part of myself from him

Right now I wish he could fix me

RIGHT NOW!!!

Beat it out of me

Spank it

Tickle it, kiss it, love it

SCARE IT OUT!!!

I don’t know, just make it go away!

The memories hurt and I want to forget every bit of it

2 Comments »

Teach Him

This entire album is lovely! While I was listening to it this morning at work, this song in particular touched my heart.

“Teach Him”

by Melanie Fiona

from the album The Bridge

2 Comments »

I Wish You Were Mine

Kiss - 2007

Loverman?

What, Mamacita.

I wish you were mine.

Why? So we could just lay in bed together like this and be so peaceful?

… and happy? Yeah, baby. I want to fix you when you’re hurting. I want to feed you when you’re hungry. I want to love you when you’re lonely.

But, Mamacita, you don’t get lonely, you have the girls.

But they’re not the same as you…

Leave a comment »