Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Revenge Sex

I hate it when you do this to me. It’s so very stupid. You are only pushing me away; making me want to give up on us.

Ignoring me is probably not how you should choose to deal with any dissatisfaction that I might have with you. Do you like having me around, or am I expendable? Because if that’s how you treat me or how you feel about me, I know I deserve better! That is definitely not how I want my best friend to treat me!

I’m sick of forgiving the same things over and over again. I’ve done that for Mr. Doom-n-Gloom for 20+ years. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life doing the same thing, just with another man.

It’s really only lateness and then ignoring me during a moody spell. But, to me, those are my two biggest irritation triggers!! And, to do them over and over again knowing how much they irk me (seemingly JUST to irk me!!!) and then not apologize for being an ass-hat! Even once!…???

That’s just stupid and ridiculous! And extremely selfish and insensitive!!!

Just like revenge sex!

Which is something I have the opportunity to do right now!!! Tonight. Something I am contemplating because I can. Because it’s something I can do that you will never know about — but, I will always have it for me.

You act so proud to have me when other men stare at my breasts or take a second look at me. You even point it out to me so I notice. But, if I get something free because of them, that guy is my “boyfriend”.

Maybe I should take advantage of that attractiveness and find someone who treats me the way I feel I should be treated. You used to. What happened?

Is it because I have told you time and time again that I am not going anywhere? Has that made you so comfortable that you are just not even trying to keep me any more? Because you see how that worked out for Mr. Gloom-n-Doom!

I would like for you to treat me the way that I treat you; I would like for you to think about how your actions will affect me; I would like for you to get over this awesomely stupid teenage behavior of ignoring people when you feel guilty for hurting them.

I want you to grow the fuck up!!!

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The Silent Treatment: Episode #2

We can't control who we meet or who we fall in love with, or whether we will have our hearts broken all we can do is hope that person loves us enough not to hurt us.

I have no idea why the fuck you are ignoring me this time!

It hurts me when you do that.

You know it

Yet you choose to hurt me anyway

Why?

Why do you do that?

There was something you said the other night as we were trying to get comfortable in bed together

Something hurtful about how you knew that getting stuck in two hours of traffic was going to come back and bite you in the ass

In fact, it is actually the choices you made leading up to that two-hour traffic delay that bit you in the ass.

You decided, at the last minute, after we had already made plans to be together, to drive 1 hour in the complete opposite direction to help someone you barely know fix his fucking vehicle.

Then you ran into “complications” and it took a lot longer than you had anticipated.

On top of it, you never called to tell me that you had decided to make this change in plans.

Well…

I actually wanted to call off the date at 8PM. I told myself that was as long as I was going to wait.

But, I waited for you 40 minutes longer than that

Because you called and stayed on the phone with me for those 40 minutes

Because I thought that was such a sweet and thoughtful gesture

Because I thought, together, we could overcome the horribleness of the evening

We have before

But, this time we did not

Maybe it was mecute quotes and sayings about love. cute love quotes and sayings

Maybe it was you

Maybe it was the fucking moon!

Maybe it was nothing…

But, does that make it okay for you to ignore me now?

To completely shut me out of your heart, where I am usually so welcome and comfortable?

Won’t you please tell me what I really am to you?

Am I your best friend, too?

Or am I just a convenient fuck-buddy who shares similar interests as you?

Someone who can easily be shunned or set to the side when you’re “in a mood” or you’re “wore out with it”?

How nice it is that you can just shut me out of your mind when the thought of me becomes inconvenient or unpleasant?

How many more times do you think you can do that to me before I stop calling you over and over again to see if we’re okay?

Before I stop sending you those good-morning texts to let you know I made it to work safe?

Lately, your fallback excuse has been, “I guess I’m just getting old.”

What happened to, “It’s my duty to please your booty!”?

Will you even notice when I am not around?

Will you feel that same emptiness in your heart as I do?

Like you’re missing a piece of yourself?

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