Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

The Nigerian

Azi = Youth

Azi and I have had 3 “dates”: one back in November, one two weeks ago and one last Monday. We had dinner together the first time and sex all 3 times.

It was good sex all 3 times. He’s a very nice man, but there isn’t any ‘electricity’ (probably that’s because he’s not a total douchebag asshole that needs me for my money *sigh*).

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All the Questions I Could Have Asked…

…instead of acting like a giddy schoolgirl

What’s your favorite color?

What day is your birthday?

Do you like pizza? Sushi? Wine? Red or White?

There are plenty more, I’m sure. (please feel free to add some.)


I actually managed to work in some actual questions and relatively articulate conversation (I think). I was so nervous I was shaking almost the entire time. I don’t know WTF was wrong with me.

Now that I think about it, maybe it was excitement. I really liked him.

First, he texted me that he had already arrived. Oh my gosh! He was 10 minutes early.

I was almost there so I wasn’t worried about that part. But, there was construction going on in the parking lot and I had to circle the building once. Then, when I parked, I couldn’t find the entrance to the sidewalk because it was all blocked off for construction.

As I was walking between a couple of cars to get to the sidewalk, I hear, “Hey,” and looked around but didn’t see anyone. There was another “Hey”. I knew he was there but I didn’t see him. He waved and then I saw him across the way from me. I would have run up to meet him like I mentioned to him earlier, but I was wearing pointy-heeled boots and I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself.

So, I sexily strode across to him (at least I tried) and greeted him face-to-face. I really was shaking at this point, or shivering… I don’t know. Ask him. It was crazy. No one has affected me like that before. Not that intensely right away.

We kissed. I wanted that so badly. To feel that acceptance.

I could feel my body trembling and Mr. X asked me if I wanted to wait outside with him and take a few minutes to relax. He leaned up on the side of his car and asked me to lean onto him. Again, exactly what I wanted.

I tried to relax as I leaned my body onto his. I looked up into his eyes. I rested my head on his chest. I felt comfortable. Warm. Nice. But I was still shaking like crazy – it was a beautiful afternoon, I wasn’t cold!

We stood outside, hugging, kissing, getting comfortable for probably 10 minutes when I finally decided I was ready to go inside.

We ordered and sat down at a table in the sun. The construction was quiet when we sat down.

Mr. X set up the umbrella over our table and we talked for a while.

I made the complete wrong choice. It was a lovely day, but I was face-forward to the the sun and was trying to look Mr. X in the face. It made it hard to listen and focus. And I really wanted to.

Then the construction started again and it was getting dusty. Earlier Mr. X said something about how it might get dusty… I said (agreed), “This was a bad choice.”

He asked if I wanted to go inside.

I did. But, before we went back in, Mr. X said, “Wait.” He fiddled around in his pocked for a second and pulled out a rose.

It was lovely! I seriously can’t remember the last time a man gave me a flower.

So lovely that, in the process of finding a table inside, I think I tripped over like 3 things. While he was walking behind my clumsy ass! *sigh*

And I was pretty much a hot mess the entire time we were talking.

He said that, of 3 things that I was scared to tell him about, #1 and #2 had explanations and weren’t that big a deal to him, but #3, the one where I said I had a blog, had no explanation at all and he was very curious.

I told him it was pretty much a live journal kind of thing.

We talked about other stuff, but he persisted about the blog.

He gave me permission to talk about him (good, huh? 😉 )

I told him that I thought it would probably make things easier for both of us if I just let him read my blog.

The biggest truth about me is here.

Right before we left, he reached into his pocket again and pulled out another rose.

We said goodbye and kissed again in the parking lot. Let me just say, I want to kiss a lot more of him than just his lips.

Things went so well.

I was pleased.

And floating on cloud 9 when I got back to work.

Things went so fast with Mr. X, but it felt good.

Comfortable. But exciting!

He texted me later to remind me to send him my blog name.

I did. (I am scared to lay it all out there for him to see, but you guys still like me 😉 so I thought “What the hell?”)

During my commute home I had time to think about the entire date. How kind and patient Mr. X was with my nervousness and excitement. How he sensed the rise and fall of my emotions. Just thinking about it got me excited all over again. I tried to slow everything down in my head. I tried to pull out the thoughts that I was feeling while we were together.

I really enjoyed his company. When we were touching I felt more at ease, relaxed. Looking deep into his eyes is amazing!

I also chastised myself for being such a hot mess. I must have seemed like a complete lunatic. And he was so sweet to me the entire time (maybe because he felt bad for the crazy girl 😉 ).

On my way home I stopped at the library to pick up some CDs. While I was inside talking to the librarian, I got a call on my phone but didn’t look at it. I figured that it was one of my daughters calling to see why I was late and would call them back in a minute.

When I looked, I saw that it was a missed call from Mr. X.

How pleasant and unexpected!

I called him back right away and asked, “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to call you,” he answered. My heart melted.

We talked for a little over 15 minutes. It was comfortable. Just like lunch.

I can’t wait to meet again.


Even Though He Was Sick

… he still kissed me when we met up very briefly yesterday morning.

He never kisses me when he’s sick.

He asked how I was doing and I answered, “I’m okay, but you could text me back more. How are you?” Then I winked at him because he knew exactly what I was talking about (click here and guess the password 😉 if you haven’t already).

“I know, Mamacita. I’ve been sick. So mostly I’ve been sleeping.”

“Oh my goodness! You’re sick and you kissed me anyway. There’s a first time for everything!”

“Yes, Mama. You’re the one always telling me,” then he started pretending to talk like me, “‘I’ll be okay. I don’t know why you don’t just kiss me already. Jeesh!‘ So, I just kissed you.”

He makes me laugh.

Usually I have to beg for a kiss when he’s sick and then he will totally fake me out and turn his face at the last minute so I end up kissing his cheek.

He must have missed me.

Kiss on the Cheek by nyappykimi

Kiss on the Cheek
by nyappykimi

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Lost In Discovery…

It’s so simple

I crave intimacy


I want someone to hold my hand

To support me when I need it most

To fix the water heater when it’s broken down

To kiss me before bed

To kiss me when I wake

To cuddle up to after a bad dream

To make love to me in the front seat of my car

Or the shower, or the movie theater, or in my bed

Anywhere. Anytime.

I want someone who enjoys the same things as me

Someone who knows what I mean when I can’t make the words come out right

When I got married, I was too young to know any of these things

How I wanted my relationship to be

How I needed my husband to be

What intimacy was

Now that I know

I am lost in discovery…


Pumpkin Soup

Pumpkin Soup
by Kate Nash

You’re chatting to me, like we connect
But I don’t even know if we’re still friends
It’s so confusing,
Understanding you is making me not want to do

And things that I know I should do
But I trip fast and then I lose
And I hate looking like a fool

I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy
I just want your kiss
I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy
I just want your kiss

The lights are on
And someone’s home
I’m not sure if they’re alone
There’s someone else inside my head
Living there too fills me with dread

This paranoia is distressing
But I spend most of my night guessing
Are we not, are we together
Will this make our lives much better

I’m not in love
I just wanna be touched

I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy
I just want your kiss
I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy
I just want your kiss
Whoops I think I’ve got too close
‘Cause now he’s telling me I’m girl that he likes most
Now I messed up it’s not the first time
I’m not saying you’re not on my mind
I hope that you don’t think I’m unkind

I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy
I just want your kiss
I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy
I just want your kiss


The Littlest Things Are Sometimes the Sweetest

ForeheadKisseThe other night when we were making love, I was laying on my side and Loverman leaned over and kissed me tenderly on the forehead.

It was such a small thing, yet so very sweet…


Last Friday Night, The Final Part

It was almost 11 when we finally arrived at our comfy, warm room. I grabbed the bottle of wine that I had left chilling on some ice in the bathroom sink. At that same time, Loverman grabbed a bottle of Champagne that he had packed  in his bag. It was a bottle of Cartier Brut that he had procured a few years back while he was working there as a security guard! I put my $3.00 bottle back in my bag and said I could save that until next time 🙂 Wow!

That small gesture was immense to me! On top of getting to spend the evening driving around town with my favorite man, I got to meet his mom AND he was about to share one of his only two bottles of extravagance with me!!! Just this Christmas, his gift to me was a bottle of Délices de Cartier Eau de Toilette. We’ve been together 4+ years and he, just this winter, started sharing this part of himself with me (I always knew that he worked there and that he had some stuff stored away, but he hadn’t ever given any of it to me). He hasn’t even given any of his Cartier ‘collection’ to his wife!!!!

Délices de Cartier

I felt like royalty! I wanted to make him feel like royalty, too! I felt like I had finally “broken the barrier”. Meaning: a long time ago, he told me that he would never be able to give 100% of himself to a relationship again. He told me not to get my hopes up for anything bigger… He’s been cheated on by all of his girlfriends and baby mommas – and when we started our little soiree, he thought his wife had started cheating on him, too. He had given up completely on having a mature adult relationship with a sane faithful woman (not that I am a faithful woman, but I am faithful to him). I don’t feel like he’s giving me 100%, he’s right… But I feel like he is definitely giving me the correct percentage most of the time. And I honestly don’t think I want a guy giving me 100%, that might be stifling…

We luxuriated together in the comfy, white, king-sized bed while we drank that lovely, expensive, meaningful bottle of champagne. It ended so quickly. We were there drinking and watching something on TV (I honestly can’t remember. It could have been the hotel’s channel for all I know), and then the champagne was gone. I looked over at that sexy man laying there next to me, fully clothed, on top of the plush bedspread and I was filled with desire and utter satisfaction. I let out a giant sigh and had the hugest grin on my face. It’s just not right to feel so happy! Loverman looked over at me and said, “What?!” To respond, I crawled up into his strong, warm arms, kissed him and whispered, “You make me feel so special.” My lips lingered below his ear for a moment while I took a deep breath of him. He took my face in his hands, drew me to his lips, kissed me and whispered back “That’s because you are special.”

He rose up from the bed to undress, but I wanted to be the one to unwrap that package! That is what I had been waiting for all night! I drew myself up behind him and placed my hands at his waist, slowly raising his shirt up over his head. Slowly caressing his smooth chest on my way back down to his belt. Slowly savoring every bit of his front with my fingertips while I continued to breathe in his lovely scent. His belt came unfastened easily, as if it could sense my desire. We had been flirting and touching and grinding all throughout the night and I knew that I would explode the second I felt him inside of me. I wanted to enjoy feeling every ounce of his sexyness, but not too soon. He was eager, too. His stiffness just about to explode out from the sexy man panties he wore for me. Surprise again! Another first! Being with my Loverman is like unwrapping a very thoroughly-wrapped package — every time we’re together I get to unwrap another layer. And this was a sexiest layer yet. Ooh la la!! (It makes me so happy to think about it! I’ll bet I’m glowing just writing this!)

I sat down on the edge of the bed as he finished removing his jeans (because the last time I did it, I made a huge mess dumping out all of the things in his pockets! It was funny and a lot un-sexy. LOL!). Before I knew what was happening, he was gyrating his engorged, tear-me-off-now sexy underwear in my face like an exotic dancer and I liked it! He was erotically dancing for me and I was so turned on!!! Another layer of this mysterious package came unwrapped (no pun intended)! He didn’t dance for me very long, but he didn’t need to! Every time he exposes another part of himself to me I feel so much closer to him and I really wanted to show him how very, very close to him I wanted to be at this exact moment!

I pulled him toward me and released his swollen erection from it’s constricted haven. My mouth tenderly surrounding the engorged tip and then kissing the entire length of his shaft. Caressing him with my lips and my breath. Each kiss a new taste. Each kiss making me wetter. Each kiss increasing the familiar longing between my thighs. I slipped his sexy underwear down his sexy legs and he stepped out of them.

He stood there in front of me completely naked, looking so vulnerable and so desirable and said, “You’re still dressed and it’s time for me to unwrap my present.” He led me up from the bed and towards him. His hands stroking my backside, soon they came to rest squarely on my rump.

Hmmmm. I wonder…” His fingertips became inquisitive. With them, he seductively lured my dress up my legs. He stopped when the hem was barely clearing the top of my bare ass — and then he smacked it! He smacked it hard! He had finally realized that the entire time I was with him I wasn’t wearing any panties!

Girl!” he exclaimed as he gave me an equally good swat on the other side “to even it out!” I grinned evilly at him as he continued to remove my silky dress. “What’s this?” was his next question. I had purchased a new front-hook bra and it made my boobs look totally awesome in the Valentine Day dress I had worn for him — but without the dress, they absolutely “popped”!

“I wanted to make sure you enjoyed unwrapping your present, too!” I shot him one of my coy looks – one that always makes him kiss me.

While he was kissing me, my bra was stealthily unhooked and removed. We pulled the comforter off the bed and he climbed in first. I crawled in on top of him and, even though I was completely ready, I did not slide him into me just yet. This was something I wanted to relish – like eating an ice cream cone on the hottest of summer days. And I wanted him to relish it, too.

I was so wet and slippery and he was so stiff and hard pressing against my trembling clit. I had to hold back, it was too soon to cum. He wasn’t even inside of me yet! I leaned down to kiss his neck and whisper in his ear, “Baby, you make me feel so special. I hope I can make you feel that special, too.” His only response was a moan and a sigh as he brushed his lips across my neck and up to my lips. I had to have him inside of me! This sexy man who did so many things that made me feel special…

I lowered my hand to nudge his erection into me. As it slid in and up into my ardently wet pussy, it was like I could feel his pulse inside of me. He filled me up completely… I couldn’t hold back this time and I came all over him, uncontrollable moans of pleasure escaping from both of us… He allowed me to continually violate him in this way while he writhed underneath my own gyrating hips…

But, I just can’t “win” when I am on top. He lets me start off mostly every time that way — but I rarely bring him to orgasm this way (he took a shower before he came to get me earlier… Most times he does…). It’s a fairly big point of contention for me… Which makes it a game for him… One time I “won” and it completely caught him off guard — me, too, really! (Probably no shower first that day.) I got to gloat about it for a little while, but then he just threw me down on the other bed and had his way with me until I was begging for mercy (that time was so awesome for both of us! There’s this thing he sometimes repeats to me to get me going — “I hope you have two more hours, baby“)! I try so hard, but he almost always “wins”. I am not complaining. That is a battle I will lose every day if I have to, because the way it ends feels like heaven in my pussy!

This time ended with his victory, yet again. Not that I was surprised… And I was most definitely satisfied. As was my Loverman who fell asleep directly with his head rested on top of my “pillows”.

A few hours later I woke up and he was still slumbering contentedly. He had worked the night before and only taken a short nap before fixing his friend’s car and taking me on our Valentine Adventure. I expected he would be sleeping quite a while longer. And I would let him because we had to get up and leave before 9 Saturday morning.

The next time I woke up, I was laying on my stomach and he was caressing my back – fingertips like feathers, leaving shivering goosebumps in their wake. When he realized that I had started to regain consciousness he shifted his body onto mine, straddling my upper thighs with his. He thwomped his dick between my butt cheeks (he loves to do this. I think it’s cute and it tickles a little) and began to give me one of his “magical back rubs”. It starts out as a deep tissue massage 😉 and ends up with the most thorough, long and satisfying orgasms I’ve ever had!

I could go into the gory details of that romp, too, but this story is already getting very, very long and I am pretty sure you get the picture…

This year my Valentine’s Day was very special to me!

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Word of the Day: Affection

The definition of affection, according to the Urban Dictionary is:

A physical way of showing just how much you love someone. It’s a fondness that consumes you. Wanting to touch, tickle, kiss, hug, or hold.


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Words inspired by:
by Ivan Koulakov


One passionate kiss

Lovers’ bodies entangled

Sublime harmony


Darkness upon light

Exquisite differences

Sensual contrasts

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Meeting you

I have the back door of my truck open and I’m bent over the back seat getting my walking shoes as you approach me from behind
I don’t notice, and you slip your hands around my curvy hips
I stand up and turn around, you’re right there in front of me faces so close, bodies so close, I can feel the heat radiating from you
my back arches into you eagerly as your hands move from my hips up to my shoulders, lingering for a long moment on my breasts
you tweak my nipples gently and they respond hungrily to your touch
you lean into me, gripping me tightly, pressing my body onto the truck
you lower your mouth to mine in a kiss that manages to be abrupt and relaxed at the same time
your warmth and closeness comforting, the power of your hands and your body against mine compelling, reassuring and intimidating all at once
the scent of you, something indescribably, utterly masculine, along with the smell of the outdoors feels like something I could take off my clothes and roll about naked in
I rest my palms against the muscles of your chest and take in the steady beat of your heart, feel the heat of your body
my mouth turns farther into yours, lips parting, exploring and tasting you
you let out a small, hungry sound and press your body closer to mine, bending your head to place a soft kiss on the side of my throat
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