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The Value of a Kiss

About a week ago, Alaska asked me to drive him to a client’s upcoming new home (or however you want to say it. I’m not a Realtor® and I don’t technically care about the technicality of it 😉 )…

… because the new home buyers wanted to take some measurements for some stuff they were moving in and other stuff they wanted to buy, yadda. yadda…

The thing about it was, we had already made a different type of plan to spend time together.

Have lunch, watch some cool stuff on the computer…

Other stuff… (I really like the other stuff!)

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Will You Marry Me?

Will You Marry Me?

For the beginning of the story, click here

Where-you-need-to-be.jpg

I don’t know what to name him… Usually something comes to me… Maybe “Steamboat” because that’s where he’s moving and he’s kind of a dreamboat 😉 or DS for Dreamboat in Steamboat… I don’t know. Maybe you can think of something.

He’s my age, attractive, intelligent, half black, half Mexican, only about an inch taller than me and very, very skinny (doesn’t shave his nethers either, hmmm…). He’s been a registered nurse for 20 years and loves his family who he goes to see every year. He wants to open his own retirement home and has a plan already in process. He likes EDM (electronic dance music), Pink Floyd, classic rock… He likes the same drugs as I do and likes to drink, but knows how to be safe because he’s a nurse. He drives a brand spanking new Miata and one would *think* he’s gay except for (maybe) the way he eats my pussy and kisses me… Damn!

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Unexpected Lunch Surprise

Unexpected Lunch Surprise

When we met for lunch yesterday, I thought we were simply going to meet for lunch.

I was quite happy with that because I had already seen him the day before and I enjoy his company (touch).

During our prior lunch date, I mentioned that I had finished my book. It seemed like he was eager to have his turn reading it, so I really thought he just wanted to go over that with me…

Anyhow… Later yesterday morning he sent the message, “Good morning, Flower. I will text you details a little later about lunch. But it’s going to be around our usual time.” (see? Lunch.)

I thanked him for telling me and sent him Kisses and Sunshine.

At about 1PM, he sent me the hotel name and address. *sigh* My heart skipped a beat and I told myself that there was probably a cool restaurant in the lobby or next door or something like that (yeah, right… But *you know* that if I had started thinking we were actually going to get naked together, I would start getting nervous! I was trying to stay calm. Also, I wasn’t ready for a ‘first encounter’ — if I had known this was going to happen I would have shaved my legs, right? At least I had on a new pair of panties. Whew! 😉 )

We sent a couple messages back and forth, but he was busy.

Ten minutes before I was to arrive, he sent me the room number and “directly behind the office second floor”.

That’s when I started to get nervous! My heart was thumping, but I was telling myself he probably just wanted to have somewhere quiet and private to go over my book and our ‘rules’. You know, stuff like that.

By the time I was parking the car, I knew why I was really there and I think my nervousness calmed a little.

I mean, this is what I wanted, right?

WhatINeedFromYou
(His words, not mine) I can hear his voice saying this to me

It was awesome! I wish we had more time. I could have laid with him for the rest of the afternoon and into the night…

The ‘ice’ has been broken. I was given incredible orgasmic release many, many times…

He was definitely worth the wait!

But I can’t help worrying if I did well. If he’s satisfied, too.

(I know, I know… I worry too much!)

Was *I* worth the wait?

WhatINeedFromYou-Response

Oh, Mr. X, did I take off any of your edge?

Assuage any of your hunger?

He was so quiet. So very quiet.

Not even a grunt (maybe a couple quiet ones near the end 😉 ).

I’m telling myself that it was just because I felt so good — he had to concentrate that hard not to cum.

But I can’t help wondering:

Why didn’t he text me back?

*sigh* I have so much more to learn…

Date #2 With Mr. X

Date #2 With Mr. X

Last Friday we were having our morning “check in” talk and Mr. X told me that, for what it’s worth, he was sorry about the way things ended with Loserman. How sweet was that? I really appreciate his acceptance of me as I am. I mean, I put it all out there for him to see! It’s nice not to have to pretend for the first few “dates” until the ice is broken.

Also, I love having a daily check-in with him. It helps reassure me that everything is “okay”. You know how bad I am with that kind of suspense 😉

On another note, I keep expecting for him to ask me questions about what he’s reading on my blog. I wish he would ask more or say more or something. Some days, his silence is my suspense. Here’s what he’s said about my blog so far:

1. I need to keep it up just as I have been, talking about what I have been, etc…

2. What he said about being sorry Loserman ended it the way he did

3. He mentioned that he wished my post about our first date had been more positive about myself. Subsequently, he asked me to write a positive post about myself (so I wrote two! 😉 ).

I am going to have to be at peace with this thought:

If Mr. X has anything to say about my blog, he will say it. That is the way it has been and that is the way it will continue.

I worry too much!! Mither (1 of 2) Eventually I asked the inevitable question: when would I be able to see him again? And it would be perfectly okay if it was just a lunch meeting.

He answered, “How about today?” I was surprised! Honestly, I expected him to say Tuesday or something.

I don’t remember exactly how I responded, but it was like, “Same time, same place?”

“Okay,” he replied.

The butterflies in my stomach were doing flip-flops, I felt a surge of wetness in my panties. We talked a little bit longer and then hung up.

A couple of hours before we were to meet, he messaged me that he would be a little late. We ended up meeting 30 minutes later than originally planned. No matter. I was happy he told me at all! The consideration felt very nice.

It was wonderful to see him. I have been busy at work finishing up a part of the budget I didn’t think I was going to have to do, finalizing November’s numbers and also dealing with some more drama from the Atlanta ladies. Seeing Mr. X was a very pleasant diversion (although it did make it more difficult to concentrate on anything but him for the rest of the afternoon).

I enjoyed his company very much and felt more relaxed this time around. We spent a lot of time gazing into each others’ eyes and he kissed me a lot more. Even while we were sitting across from each other at our tiny table!

The way I feel around him is amazing! I feel pretty and intelligent and captivating and sexy and worthwhile. I completely understand that *I* control the way that things make me feel, but Mr. X sure makes it easy for my feelings to go in a positive direction!

When we first sat down, I mentioned to him that he was setting the bar pretty high for himself: talking to me every day, his incredible attentiveness… His being able to make this kind of time for me on an ongoing basis might be difficult to maintain. I am starting to really enjoy it and it’s something I could definitely get attached to.

I believe his response was, “I want to make that time for you. I enjoy talking to you and I don’t think you understand how often I really think of you.” (OMG – I think about him all the time!)

At one point he asked me if I would liked to be spanked for fun or for punishment. I think I blushed a little and I really didn’t know the answer. He answered himself quietly, “I will figure that out myself.” Now that I have had time to think about it, I have an answer!

Sweet Mr. X, spanking me with your hand would be fun for me. Punishment spanking would be you using something that isn’t you – something that doesn’t allow for direct contact of you to me. For example: a riding crop or belt 😉

While we were chatting I interrupted him. Probably a hundred times, actually. But, I remember once in particular because he was outwardly assertive with me and it really turned me on! He looked at me with a gentle smile, his hand raised a little bit to the side of my face (but not too close), and sternly told me to stop interrupting him. He really didn’t like that. Then directed me to look at his left hand positioned to ‘slap’ me. Immediately I felt a warmth surge between my legs (again!). And I stopped interrupting (I think).

I am not adding this to excuse my behavior (I guess maybe I am…), but interrupting is something I do when I get excited. With some of my friends, it isn’t a problem, it’s like we talk back and forth bouncing off each other like that; that’s how we talk. With other friends, it bothers the hell out of them because it seems like (to them) I am not listening; when really I am, I’m just so excited/intense/afraid I’m going to forget.

(I have a feeling that this will probably be the reason for many of my “reprimands” in the future.

I look forward to that part of my education 😉 )

It seemed like time had slowed down for us while we were together, but eventually it had to end and he walked me out to my truck, where he devoured my mouth with his most sensuous kisses yet. Later that night, I wrote him how they made me feel (at his insistence):

I truly am surprised I could stay standing after you left, let alone be able to turn around and get into my truck and drive away. My body was trembling and I had to take a bunch of deep breaths before I was able to go into work. My panties were wet almost all afternoon and I can still feel my pulse in my pussy now as I am writing this! I can only hope they made you feel half as good as that!

My panties were squishy for the rest of the afternoon and he has directed me not to masturbate until we have a chance to be intimate together. The suspense is killing me!

I HATE Being a Girl!!

I HATE Being a Girl!!

BlameItOnYourPeriodI don’t want to get a sex change or anything. I am just saying that maybe if I had been born a boy it wouldn’t have been so bad.

I wish I knew what it was like to be a boy so I could compare.

Girls have all of these stupid, tangled emotions that get in the way. They’re impossible to sort out and sometimes the very worst ones come at the most inopportune times.

I can’t fucking shut off my damn brain! I just want to stop thinking. But no matter how hard I try, thoughts keep slipping in.

Like: why did I feel so disappointed this morning? I write here trying to figure out the answer to that very simple question.

Maybe it was because today was the first time in ever that Loverman didn’t get me off. I’m not sure I got off last night either… But, last night was about him. It was my time to worship him because he has been taking such good care of me lately.

We didn’t take a shower together like we always do. I showered alone. He hadn’t slept well the day before (he works 3rd shift and went to a friend’s house to work on their car and get a short nap) and then he said he didn’t sleep well last night, so he took the opportunity to sleep in while I was cleaning up and getting ready for work.

When he dropped me off this morning, I had spent our entire waking morning together crying on his shoulder. Not the weeping, sobbing kind. It was the kind where tears just keep rolling out of my eyes no matter how hard I try and stop them. He didn’t ask me to stop. He just let me do it. I’m pretty sure that he was uncomfortable because he was sitting next to a crying girl, but he let me cry and then gave me beautiful, sweet huggs and kisses when he dropped me off at work.

You should see me right now, sitting at my desk, all pathetic and fighting back the inescapable tears. Getting frustrated with myself for getting ‘so emotional’ that have to try even harder to hold back the tears.

I’m not really this upset that I didn’t have an orgasm, am I? My period just ended, is that it? I have been doing some deep de-tox treatments on my belly, could that be causing my emotions to spiral out of control? Is it stupid peri-menopause? I’m there: night sweats, hot flashes, apparently violent moods and depression now, too… My period was two weeks late — maybe it’s the extra 14 days of build-up…

Connection Lost by ookami-zone on DeviantArt
Connection Lost
by ookami-zone on DeviantArt

I think part of it is because we didn’t get to see each other last week, so I didn’t get my usual “fix”. The more time we spend together, the more I miss him when he’s gone (Distance) and we have been spending a more-than-normal amount of time together lately. This week I craved his closeness so much and I guess last night/this morning I didn’t get enough to get me “over the hump” (pardon the pun). Could it be that I am simply missing the connection that we usually make? Hopefully skating with him tonight will help…

Loverman has been so good to me for the last few weeks. I can’t even begin to enumerate his wonderfulness here, but most of it has to do with his incredible patience with me and the fact that my truck, Bear, has been going completely insane! Maybe I am upset because I am feeling like I am not meeting his needs — a personal feeling of inadequacy, he has never said such a thing. He tells me quite frequently how well I take care of him…

I have a better relationship with my OM than most of my friends have with their actual spouses and here I am trying not to cry about it?! WTF? It doesn’t seem like I really have anything to cry about…

Skating tonight will help….