It was a good thing that I’d memorized the (very simple) way to get from the airport to our hotel. Because, even though I handed the post-it note with the directions to TC and asked him to navigate, he obviously had other intentions.
He caressed my fingers and I squirmed. He caressed the back of my neck and I squirmed. I wanted so badly to just close my eyes and enjoy his hands on me; I had to fight the urge not to melt (or squirm harder 😉 ). It was totally unfair that he was doing any of this to me while I was attempting to drive and navigate! (Little did I know how much more unfair the weekend would get as it progressed.)
It’s nothing short of a miracle that we found the hotel, let alone made it there alive.
He said he gave me a 6.5 because he wanted to be honest.
I appreciate that. It gives me something to work towards.
I am not denying that it hurt or that it was a pretty huge blow to my ego (whether or not I am actually a 6.5).
We talked about it at breakfast Friday. He told me that he mentioned it to 2 of his friends and they thought he shouldn’t have been
such a dick about it so blunt. Although he agreed there could have been a kinder way to say it, it worked out fine this way, too…
Because, either way, it’s important that I know if I am or am not pleasing to my lover, right? What kind of sub would I be if I didn’t care how good he thought I was? Or how good he thought I felt or performed.. I want him to be proud of me… Pleased with me… Pleasured by me…
I am not changing for him, but we are learning each other.
Does that make sense?
Also, it’s possible he was trying to gauge my emotions and how I will react to different things – a bit of a test maybe. Not to be an asshole, but to get to know me/feel me out. He eluded to it a bit at the beginning of our breakfast Friday.
It was something he said and his words totally perplexed me… It was strange. He saw it on my face but didn’t ask me about it – I could tell and appreciate that he held back.
Incidentally, Mr. X confided in me that he thought I was going to “break up” with him for his 6.5 comment. It actually felt reassuring that he thinks about those types of things sometimes, too…
We are still just getting to know each other.
We’re jumping into a pretty huge adventure together.
Both of us learning something new.
Exploring that side of ourselves together.
We’re being straightforward-honest with each other and, in that, vulnerable to the core.
As far as I’m concerned, so far so good! 😀
Mr. X told me, “We’re building a skyscraper and we can’t do that overnight. We’re on the 2nd floor. Be patient.”