I don’t even know where to begin with this one…
First, I guess I could start by unprotecting and re-sharing my last two posts about him:
When I wrote those posts, I had already driven to Colorado Springs to meet My Catfish, proving that he was NOT in fact a catfish, but a real live person with real live intentions.
During our nearly-6-months-long-chat leading up to said meeting, he shared with me some things about himself I thought I could be okay with. Most of them I was… But, when he told me he was overweight, I underestimated what he meant by “overweight”.
My sexy temptress
Thigh-high stockings, schoolgirl dress
Sweet enough to eat
Yesterday’s Daily Prompt: Tart
I am still working on this… It’s been almost a year, yet every day I still think of Loserman and wish for what we had… But also every day I tell myself that the Loverman I know and love is completely gone… After all, Life is Shadows, and shadows are impermanent and ever-changing… Both good and bad..
I took a short grief quiz online a couple of weeks ago because this Loserman thing was making me nuts! I wish I could just throw the lovey-dovey, mushy-gushy feelings away — or possibly donate them to someone who needs them more than I do… But, today I feel closer to being over it than I did when I took that quiz. So, that’s something, right?
Anyway. I ramble…
The results of the quiz stated that I could be suffering from “complicated grief”.
I thought, WTF? Isn’t ALL grief complicated?
by Kate Nash
Except you’ve got that look in your eyes,
when I’m telling a story
And you find it boring you’re thinking of something to say.
You’ll go along with and then drop it
And you humiliate me, in front of our friends.
Then I’ll use that voice what you find annoyin’
And say something like
“intelligent input darlin’ why don’t you just have another beer then?”
Then you call me a bitch and everyone we’re with will be embarrassed,
and I won’t give a shit.
My fingertips are holding onto the
cracks in our foundations,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can’t.
And everytime we fight I know it’s not right,
everytime that you’re upset and I smile
I know I should forget, but I can’t.
You said I must eat so many lemons,
’cause I am so bitter.
I said “I’d rather be with your friends mate,
’cause they are much fitter”
Yes it was childish
and you got aggressive
and I must admit that I was a bit scared,
but it gives me thrills to wind you up.
Your face is pasty,
’cause you’ve gone and got so wasted,
what a surprise,
don’t want to look at your face,
’cause it’s making me sick.
You’ve gone and got sick on my trainers,
I only got these yesterday.
Oh my gosh, I cannot be bothered with this.
Well I’ll leave you there till the mornin’,
and I purposely won’t turn the heating on
and dear God, I hope I’m not stuck with this one.