Frustration

How many of you feel like it would be easier to give up than to keep going?

I’ve tried to adopt 3 dogs – 3 fails

I’ve stopped dating completely – again ultimate fails

Nothing brings me joy any more

Ok… to be fair, I look forward to alcohol 🍷

But is that really something to live for?

Ummm, no!

This is my last outlet. I no longer want to tell my ‘friends‘ that I’m feeling lost and want to die.

They call the cops on me and then I have to explain, to people that don’t give a shit, why they need to leave me alone because I’m “okay”.

Maybe if one of them actually came to me instead of calling the police….

But I get it, they’re scared.

Aren’t we all?

(Please don’t call the cops on me. I’m not okay, but they have way better stuff to do. Really!)

Monday Motivation: The Future

Usually I don’t look forward

I typically look back when I’m trying to find answers

And place blame…

… searching for reasons to explain why I am who I am

Maybe my answers aren’t in my past

Maybe they’re in the present

Maybe I’m my only problem

I don’t want to be who I’ve become

But I can’t keep blaming my past

It’s over and what’s done is done

I may not know my meaning right now, but my future will help me discover it

It’s up to me to keep myself open and hopeful;

Try new things with an open and unjudging spirit;

Learn to trust my intuition again

The future can teach me more than the past ever could!

Wonder and Courage

 

Crazy Times

The last two years have been all over the place.

More bad than good, sadly.

You know, sometimes, no matter how positive you are (or try to be), life is just shit?

I moved across Denver a little over 2 years ago.

A week after that, my car was stolen. Presumably by an ex-boyfriend.

Last summer (2017) I finally lost my real estate accounting job with the crazy girl and the incompetent upper management.

My ‘Exit Pencils’ Crisis

Why must I question everything? Why is so imperative there is an answer?

Why can’t I just be happy when there is no reason?

A couple of weeks ago, the thought popped into my head, “I totally suck at personing.”

Life Changes

from Pinterest

For the time being, my life is in a quiet, restful place.

Like the calm before the storm.

The “Bear” Necessities

Unfortunately, life and work are necessities.

Imagine how droll sex would actually be if that’s all we ever did!.

Instead, we trudge on through our sordid lives looking for that bit of relief and release that intimacy provides us.

Life is Shadows

Excerpt from “The Feeling of Emptiness” posted on Om Swami

… … The inner journey of discovering yourself, begins by consciously cultivating emotions of contentment, gratitude and compassion.

You cannot be empty if you are content, you can’t be sad if you are grateful, you can’t be angry if you are compassionate.

Fill yourself with love. It’s worth it. Recalibrate your thoughts, so you may realign your emotions.

Scriptures call it shunayata (IAST: śūnyatā) from the Sanskrit word shunya which means zero or emptiness. It is the essence of life and all perceptible phenomena.

In the dark night of the soul, when you lose your own reflection, when aching emptiness becomes unbearable loneliness, just sit tight and wait for the dawn. The sun will rise again and the shadows of joys will enthrall you one more time. Bear in mind though, shadows are just that — shadows. They are impermanent and unstable. Everything is. This is life. This is fine. This is beautiful.

Peace.
Swami

 

“All I Want Is You”

All I Want Is You
By Michael Franti & Spearhead

All I want is you, all I want is you
All I want is you

Wise folks count their blessings
Fools count their problems
But you’re both of them to me

Because you’re beautiful
You’re so frickin’ beautiful
You took all my memory

And all I want is you, all I want is you
All I want is you, all I want is you
All I want is

Don’t tell me you love me
If you don’t really love me
But you could still kiss me
So I need you to kiss me

Because you’re beautiful
You’re so frickin’ beautiful
You took all my memory

And all I want is you, all I want is you
All I want is you, all I want is you
All I want is

I love you in the daytime
I love you in the nighttime too
I love you in the moonlight
I love you in the sunshine too
I love you all of life time
I love you when the

All I want is you, all I want is you
All I want is you, all I want is you

‘Cause there’s life in this love
And there’s love in this life
There is life in this love
And there’s love in this life

There is life in this love
And there’s love in this life
There is life in this love
And there’s love in this life

Wise folks count their blessings
Fools count their problems
But you’re both of them to me

And all I want is you, all I want is you
All I want is you, all I want is you

All I want is you
(Life in this love, love in this life)
All I want is you
(Life in this love, love in this life)

Daytime, nighttime too
Moonlight, sunshine too
Daytime, nighttime too
All I want is you, all I want is you

Monday Motivation: Water