Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes


(I haven’t been feeling very up to writing lately, but this has been sitting unfinished in my drafts folder for far too long.)


This is NOT all our stuff!

The weekend before Thing #1 and I moved was absolute craziness.

Doom-n-Gloom and Thing #2 were planning on being out of the old apartment by Sunday evening.

Long story short: they weren’t. When the day was over, they hadn’t even moved half of their things. The rest for us to ‘deal with’ until their return Monday evening.

Read the rest of this entry »


Get Off to Get Fit

I’m horny this week. Can you tell? Maybe it’s this new “Female Rejuvenator” I’ve been taking from Swanson Vitamins — Shatavari Root. I have been trying to holistically ‘cure’ a few of my minor aging symptoms and been practicing some Ayurvedic treatments and herbs — it seems to be working! Either for real or as a placebo effect, I don’t give a crap – I’m feeling better.

Also, I find some really cool articles and stories about sex when I am looking for blog content.

Here are just a few of the things I just learned in the article: Flex While you Sex. Get Off and Get the Fat Off

  1. “Kissing can burn anywhere from 120-325 calories an hour,” say Sex experts Celeste Hirschman, MA and Danielle Harrell, PhD
  2. Giving a massage can burn up to 80 calories an hour. If you’re the one giving the massage, you can burn off at least one Jameson shot. I’m sure you took a lot more than one, but hey it’s a start. (ROFLMFAO!!)
  3. If you can incorporate yoga into your oral sex (without hurting yourself), you can burn close to 75 calories per hour.
  4. The average experience of intercourse can burn anywhere between 50 and 100 calories. The average sex session last 10-20 minutes. So, let’s say you have 2 sex sessions in an hour, that’s anywhere between 100-200 calories burned in 60 minutes, just for sex. Screw it all. Go have a sex marathon!


And now for something new to try…

Lap Limbo

Lap Limbo

(I did not write this article, but I wish I had!)
YUM It is Lap Limbo time y’all!!!! Get it in bitches!

Your guy sits back in a roomy chair with a pillow placed under his knees to elevate them. Now you straddle him, lower yourself into the triangle of his lap, and lean back so you’re resting against his raised thighs. Bend your knees and put your ankles over his shoulders so they rest on the back of the chair. He grasps your hips as he enters you, and you set the rocking in motion by pushing your feet against the top of the chair as he thrusts by pulling your hips toward him.

The payoff of this racy recliner move starts with pure visual pleasure. With you in his lap, legs open, he’s got an up-close-and-intimate view of you, plus easy access to touch your breasts, your tummy, and between your legs. All that tender stroking will intensify the sensual, super slow buildup brought on by his minimal movements.

Since you’re in full control of the angle and depth of your stud’s penetration in this position, you can aim his penis toward your navel to hit the G-spot. Be his tawdry tour guide and tilt your bod just the right way so he shares the feel-good sensations.

OMFG! I LOVE this one. Even with her tummy being a lil extra, she still has fun doing this one. She just lets go and let it cum… hehehe It is a fun one cause you just throw the head back, titties are bouncing left and right and things are just super duper… HA! He can grab your ass and make you go faster, slower, harder… You control it but he can help the control…. Whew. Mama needs some dick! Who is stepping up to the plate? ;-)

Written by: Rinna Escamilla


Screw My Hypersensitivity

sensitive-areaScrew PMS (either the pre-menstrual kind OR the peri-menopausal kind, it doesn’t even matter)!

It’s like my brain is thinking and it knows what to do (or NOT to do), but my mouth/body just does whatever it wants *sigh*.

Last night we had a wonderful time just playing the poker machines (I gave him a 90-minute back rub right after we got to the room, then we went to the games). We had one tequila shot (because last week we each had 4 and that was definitely too many, but it made for some AWESOME sex — before Vanilla became the Sahara Desert!) and, for a couple of minutes, it looked like we were going to break even, but we didn’t. Each of us only lost $10, though.

When it was time for us to go back to our room, we talked about food, but it was 10:30 and both of us were more tired than hungry so we just went back upstairs to drink our bottle of Moscato and do some “stuff”.

He headed into the shower because he hadn’t had a chance to yet and I slipped into the Colorado Rockies t-shirt he just gave me. Vanilla got a good lube-ing so there would be no repeats of last week and I laid down to watch Conan. Before I knew it, Loverman was standing bare naked in front of me brushing the stray hairs away from my face (he’s just so sweet sometimes it totally melts my heart).

I grabbed the bottle of wine and he poured each of us a glass. We chatted (he told me that we have probably had sex more times than he and his wife since they started dating over 7 years ago!!! Win for me!) and slowly sipped our wine until after midnight. At one point I even said, “It’s so cool chilling with you.” He agreed with me and we crawled under the sheets together.

His magical fingers found his way to my moistened muff and started gently probing and caressing… It felt so good, and then he began to drift off. I squirmed a little and he woke up and resumed his tender touches. Eventually (you probably know what’s coming, right? BTW – no pun intended ;0 ) he fell completely asleep.

Sadly, here is where my brain was still thinking but my mouth/body had totally stopped listening (surprised?).

My brain was telling me to let him sleep and my body was aching to have him inside of me, loving me, feeling me…

For a while I laid there peacefully watching some really crappy movie with Donald Faison, but the movie was very bad and Vanilla was still rarin’ to go! I got up and went to the bathroom, relieved myself and got a glass of water. Then, I went back and laid in the other bed. Loverman said, “Why don’t you come back to bed, babe?”

“Because you’re tired and I feel so restless. I don’t want to keep you up.”

“Mamacita… Okay…” and I thought he fell back asleep, but really he just got quiet.

The television was pissing me off because there were only 12 channels and all of them were bad (except CBS where Craig Ferguson was just ending and TBS which was playing this super crappy movie) so I turned it off and laid down on the top of the blankets of the other bed. I could feel my feet tingling (“restless legs”, it happens to me all the time. So annoying!) and I really couldn’t lay still. It was bothering me, so why wouldn’t it be bothering my sweet Loverman?

I found out that he hadn’t gone back to sleep a few minutes later when he said, “Goodnight I guess then.”

This is when I became furious with myself. I wanted to get back into bed with him, and clearly that’s what he wanted too, but I didn’t want to wrestle around with the bed-covers in a futile attempt to get comfortable. I knew my legs would just keep kicking and squirming and I would just get more frustrated.

I got up and I started to put on my clothes. My brain was asking me, “What are you doing? Why are you doing this? Do you want to wake him up and have an argument?”

Apparently so. He rolled over in his bed to look at me and asked, “Where are you going?”


“Then why are you getting dressed.”

“I don’t know. I think I want to,” then I started saying mean things about myself: I feel gross, I think I am so fat, etc…

Loverman rose from his bed and started getting dressed, too. In my brain I felt like a total idiot, but now my “instincts” were in full control of my actions and I no longer understood what was happening.

“Please don’t leave, baby. I am sorry. Right now I am having some kind of emotional episode that I can’t seem to control,” I explained. “My feelings are controlling my reactions and I am trying to settle down. Please don’t go. I don’t know what words I can say to tell you how I am feeling.”

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m just confused.”

We talked again for a while. I tried to understand the emotional barrage that had overtaken me. It was hard to help him understand how I was feeling, too, because I still don’t know what the hell got into me!

Once I had determined that it was probably extreme sexual frustration on my part, I started to calm down — whether or not that’s actually what was bothering me, this answer seemed to calm me infinitely. (I get frustrated a lot because I don’t know when I will get to see/be with him again and I know that next week will be a “no nookie” week. Maybe I just got too far ahead of myself, maybe I was trying to proactively catch up…)

I told him that what I really wanted was for him to return to bed and that I would behave, but I really wanted to feel loved and sexy and he’s so good at that.

Loverman’s response was, “I don’t even know where to start now.”

Trying to break the tension I responded, “You could let me start because I am the one that messed things up tonight?”

“You said you wanted a back rub. Let’s start with that,” he said and I complied by getting settled into bed and baring my back to him.

One of my strongest feelings about him is that I don’t provide for his sexual needs as much as he provides for mine. When I tell him that I feel this way he just grins at me and tells me that I don’t have anything to worry about (and then, most of the time, does something sexy to me 😉 ).

About 30 minutes later my regular back rub turned into a sexy back rub and I started to feel like we were “on track” again.

This is one of my favorite positions with him — Loverman’s too. Coconut seems to fill in all my blanks and empty places with his rigid warmth and it never takes long for me to cum this way. He’s so close against me this way while he lays his entire torso on my back, and then he starts to kiss my shoulder-blades and tickle my back with his beard stubble. It’s heavenly!

Afterward, as I was lying next to him enjoying his tenderness, I realized again how very lucky I am to have a man (who isn’t even technically “mine”) who is so patient and tries to be so understanding with me.

I would say that I don’t think I deserve such a wonderful man, but he has issues of his own. So I think I will continue down this road with him and I will endeavor to handle my emotional outbursts in a more sensible manner in the future.

The Road Less Traveled
by ~LegoAztec on