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Too Much Power

Since last September, I’ve been spending a lot of time inside my head. It was a tough time to recover from: Mick’s verbal harassment, moving, having my car stolen…

Shit! Just a move by itself is enough to send a person’s life into topsy-turvies…

I ended up dragging a couple of very special people into my drama, then seemingly dropped off the planet. There’s no excuse for that. I was simply a scared kitten.

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Rock Star Returns. Kind of…

Rock Star Returns. Kind of…

Back in January, I was contacted by a young man on FetLife.

I named him Rock Star.

He was 26.

(Read the entire story [here])

Short version:

We agreed to meet one night at a rather busy bar, had a couple of drinks and got along very well.

So well that we had a “practice run” in the front seat of my “new” car (at the time), Lil Bear.

Then, the following weekend, during a legitimate hookup at a local Motel 6, he professed his undying love for some other woman he had never met…

jerk-store

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Found!

Found!

Previous posts here and here

Hooray!!! My beautiful Lil Bear has been found!

Friday afternoon two weeks ago, right before we left for our skate trip to Dallas, I called to give the police the address where I thought Lil Bear might be – Jim/”Mick” has a friend with a shop in his garage. We had done all the work on Lil Bear there and I thought maybe, if Jim was the person who took my car, it could be there.

About 1.5 hours after I made that call, Denver Police called back to tell me they had found it!

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Status

Killing Me Softly

LilBear

Friday evening, when I got home from work, I was happy that the parking spot next to Breezy was open. I put Lil Bear in his place, grabbed my things and went inside to make dinner.

A friend was coming over at 7pm to eat with us and then give us massages. Because he hadn’t yet been to my new apartment (which I haven’t even told you about yet!), I met him out in the parking lot. I leaned on Lil Bear while I waited for our friend’s arrival.

We ate yummy food together; had our massages… It was a lovely evening.

When our friend left at 10:30, I walked him out and Lil Bear was still in his spot.

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The Final Insane Rantings of a Desperate Gaslighter

The Final Insane Rantings of a Desperate Gaslighter

Previous post here

shescrazy

After I asked Mick to please stop because I feared for my and my family’s safety, he opened the proverbial flood gates.

It was like he had spent the past couple of days constructing hateful notes to me and then sent them all as soon as I re-engaged.

The first was his flippant comment email:

That sounds pretty threatening. 

I’m sending you the other stuff that I have written. And then it will be turned over to the psychiatrist I spoke of in my other writings as evidence should you do something crazy to get your way.

Threatening?

Should *I* do something crazy?!?!

Am I missing something here?

After that, he sent three more.

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Off the Deep End

Off the Deep End

Desperate2

I am very disappointed in myself for re-engaging with Mick. I should have let his little tantrum be the end of us.

*sigh* But that isn’t the choice I made and I’m now reaping the consequences = excuses, excuses, excuses…

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That Was Quite a Bomb Yesterday

That Was Quite a Bomb Yesterday

Previous post here

NeuroticPsychotic

Yeah, I knew exactly what he meant when he said that shit.

But I feigned naïveté because (maybe?) I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt… I don’t know. At this point I think I’m just a glutton for punishment and incredibly silly for not ending all communication with him.

Bomb1
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The Last Word, Finally?

The Last Word, Finally?

ThickSkull

So, after Mick hung up on me Tuesday morning, the thought crossed my mind, “Cool! Now I don’t have to figure out how to break up with him at the end of the month.”

I realize that is a very bitchy thought, but the mother-fucker just hung up on me after telling me he was done. What was I supposed to think? Read more

The Last Word, Part 2

The Last Word, Part 2

The title of these posts are ironic in more than one way…

Catch Part 1 here

being-ignored

After the bullshit of Friday night, things went back to “normal” with Mick for the rest of the weekend. Back and forth nothing comments about what we were each doing. He sent a couple of pictures of the hotel and downtown Cincinnati.

But again on Monday, he started in with the “wish you were here’s” and “somedays”. Each time he uses those words, my side drops off completely. I prefer not to engage with him when he starts talking about imaginary things.

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The Last Word, Part 1

The Last Word, Part 1

Right now Mick is away on a 10-day motorcycle excursion to Cincinnati and back for an American Legion thing.

With his girlfriend.

I may or may not have mentioned before that Mick is very involved with the Sons of the American Legion and the Legion Riders here in Colorado: he is vice-commander of the state.

Also, his girlfriend is involved with the Sisters of the American Legion. That’s how they met 10 years ago and that is why they are going on this trip together.

She gets to ride on the back of his motorcycle. She gets to stay in his hotel room. She gets to eat meals with him. She gets to explore Cincinnati and the Ohio countryside with him during their down-time. Theoretically, anyway…

Ignore

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