Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Monday Motivation: Practice Happiness

I was listening to the radio on my way home last Friday (the day doesn’t matter)… Michael Franti was here in Denver visiting one of the local stations before his concert.

The DJ asked him the coolest question, to which Michael Franti had a most amazing response.

The question was:

You are so positive all of the time. How do you stay so upbeat?

The response was:

Staying positive can be hard and it takes a lot of practice. It’s just like how you get good at anything. You have to practice. And eventually you will get better and better. Then being positive will be easy!

Lately all I have been able to see is the negative

I need more practice being positive

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“Monday Morning”

One of my very favorite songs…

by Fleetwood Mac

Monday morning you sure look fine
Friday I got travelin’ on my mind
First you love me, then you fade away
I can’t go on believin’ this way
I got nothing but love for you
So tell me what you really want to do
First you love me then you get on down the line
But I don’t mind, I don’t mind

I’ll be there if you want me to
No one else that could ever do
Got to get some peace in my mind
Monday morning you look so fine
Friday I got travelin’ on my mind
First you love me, then you say it’s wrong
I can’t go on believing for long

But you know it’s true
You only want me when I get over you
First you love me then you get on down the line
But I don’t mind, I don’t mind
I’ll be there if you want me to
No one else that could ever do
Got to get some peace in my mind

monday

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Contacting Loserman

I had to call Loserman today about my broken truck, Bear.

We only talked about my truck.

(That’s the way I wanted it — it’s hard enough just thinking about talking to him, let alone doing it without tearing his heart out and having it for a snack…)

At the end of our conversation he told me that I could have called or texted him Friday night when it happened.

I explained that I didn’t want to bother him, and then said I was sorry my truck broke.

(because I am really, really sorry that Bear took a shit before I was ready to talk to Loserman about it)

He said, “You’re never bothering me.”

I told him that I don’t feel that way and that my heart still hurts from the way he treated me (on our sk8-venture from hell).

I told him that I still cry every time I think of him.

(Mondays are the hardest and I don’t know why, but every Monday my heart aches for him.
I didn’t tell him that, I am just sharing that with you.)

It got uncomfortably silent.

His eventual response was, “I will think about Bear for a couple days while it’s cold. From what you’re saying it sounds like there are two things going on. I’ll call you later in the week so we can make plans to look at him when it warms up a little.”

I just want to hear him to say, “I’m sorry I broke your heart, Mamacita.”

I don’t want to get back together with him — at this point, nothing would make me want to get back together with him.

I know that after talking to him today.

The entire time I felt uncomfortable and defensive. I was holding back tears and sniffling. I wanted to lash out at him. It was hard to hold my tongue when the mean things in my head were screaming so loudly to get out!

I just want him to tell me that he’s sorry for what he did to me — without me having to ask him for the apology.

I want him to acknowledge he hurt me.

I want to know that he feels bad for it.

sad-love-quotes-sayings-apologize-heart

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