Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

You Might Be Asking “Where Did Mr. X Go?”



I’m wondering that myself. I kind of miss him.

Here is what I do know:

  • He accepted a new and better position at work which changed his hours. Making it practically impossible for us to coordinate “together time”.
  • His grandmother died a couple of weeks ago and he has been taking care of family business.

The last time I saw him was Friday, January 9th. I sat on his lap in the back seat of my car and we talked oh-so-comfortably about some not-so-comfortable things. We kissed, the windows steamed up, but all our clothes stayed on.

At the beginning of the following week, he mentioned while we were talking that he hoped to see me briefly that Thursday afternoon.

… and that he loved me (in the way you love a friend – like concern, you know?)

I told him that I wasn’t ready to say that yet and he was okay with it. Totally understanding of it, as a matter of fact.

… and that he was really horny.

Which is when I told him I was jealous that he can just go home to his wife for that release while I wait and wait and wait for him to have time for me.

Thursday morning came.

I texted Mr. X when I got to work like I was supposed to.

I texted him again, later in the day, to let him know that he really missed out – I wore a dress.


Friday morning I sent another message that I was safe at work.

He replied that he was disappointed he had missed out on my dress the previous day and was trying to make it possible to meet that afternoon.

To be funny I responded, “I didn’t wear a dress today though. I hope that’s not a deal breaker” then hit SEND.

It turns out that he wasn’t able to see me Friday afternoon, either. (I honestly didn’t think the dress thing would be a deal-breaker 😉 )

He tried calling me Friday evening, but I was on my way to go roller skating with Thing #1 so I couldn’t answer. I was really frustrated anyway and the conversation probably wouldn’t have gone well.

Over that next weekend, I followed the “rules” we had established regarding Checking In and sent him an email both Saturday and Sunday:

Saturday Afternoon (1/17)


Sunday Evening (1/18)


Over those three days I posted some things on my blog and Twitter. I was drinking and having feelings.
(to be fair, I am also still angry and hurting at Loserman so some of that was directed at him)


Then I woke up and I was tired and still having yucky feelings.



… and I did not send any messages to Mr. X on Monday.

At 5PM Monday evening (1/19), he sent me this email:


I hacked up that email in a password-protected post. Some of the things he said… … …

My response to him 40 minutes later was:


This was all before Retrograde started on the 21st.

I haven’t heard from him since.


Monday Afternoon With Loserman and Bear

I spent Monday afternoon this week with Loserman.


My truck, Bear, is badly broken. We thought we had fixed the problem 10 days ago, but when I was out running errands with Thing #2 the very next day he broke again. As I was pulling into the parking lot at our apartment complex, he started leaking anti-freeze out of the back of the engine. A totally new problem.

Loserman thought that maybe it was the heater core, so he asked me a bunch of questions and told me that he would be out to check on him that afternoon. I was sick and watching the playoffs game with Thing #1 that Sunday, so Loserman let me stay inside instead of helping him. There wasn’t much I could do anyway.

He wasn’t able to diagnose anything at that time because the antifreeze leak was so bad. It was all over the bottom of the truck and he told me he would be back later.

Unbeknownst to me until this Monday, Loserman stopped by and did a couple minor things to Bear last week and figured out where the leak was coming from – not the heater core. It turns out that a seal had cracked behind the engine and Loserman would have to replace a gasket in the cooling line.

This Monday was a gorgeous day, so Loserman came over to start working his way back to that rear seal. As he was rolling Bear out for a test drive, the problem we originally “fixed” came back. Bear died in the middle of the parking lot and Loserman couldn’t get him started again.

As it happens, I was still on a date with Scorpio (not this one) as all this was happening. So, when I got home around 1PM, I saw the hood propped open and Loserman was working on Bear.

It turns out to be worse than Loserman originally thought and we’re going to have to rebuild the engine sooner than planned – like right now instead of this summer. Forcing me right up in the face of Loserman from now until the truck is done.

So, I spent Monday afternoon this week with Loserman. I told him that I missed him, that I missed “us” and our connection. He returned the sentiment with “I miss you guys, too.” (When I asked him who that meant, he didn’t answer.) After that we just talked about work or if his foot is feeling better, or mine… You know, surface stuff.

By the end of the afternoon, he had the plenum, valve cover and heads off and was able to reach the rear seal that needs to be replaced. That was step one of “the plan” and we were both glad that he was able to get so much accomplished in one day. Now he has to replace the seal and then find all the parts (lifters, rocker arms, cam, etc…) to replace the old ones and hope that my lovely apartment complex doesn’t tow Bear in the meantime.

I didn’t feel as uncomfortable or angry with him this time while we were together but it also didn’t feel close like we used to be. I hate so much that he drove this wedge between us!

I want so badly just to talk to him and see if he’s ready to tell me what I did wrong… Or what the fuck was wrong with him…

On the other hand, I don’t want to upset him in the middle of tearing out my engine…

I miss my friend, my lover, my skate partner, my confidante, my motivation, my sunshine…

I seriously don’t know any more. I am so confused.

Just leave it be. I know.


It Finally Happened

Eviction Notice Letter on Front  Door

Diva texted Loverman Monday morning (July 28th) at 11AM and told him he had until midnight that day to get his stuff moved out.

A Writ of Restitution was posted on their door by the Denver County Sheriff. Loverman wasn’t sure of the date on the Writ. He says it looked like it was originally July 18th but appeared to have been altered to the 28th. In my opinion, the date on the writ was originally July 18th. But that’s irrelevant now.

He texted me Monday night at 6:45 to let me know initially, then called me again at 8:30 to tell me that he had most of his stuff packed into a U-Haul and he was headed back to his friend’s place. Then he read the Writ of Restitution to me. After he finished, he asked a few questions about the process (because I work for a real estate agency that handles evictions and bank-owned properties). One of his questions was, “Do I really have to be out by midnight?”

I explained to him that the Sheriff isn’t going to show up at his door at midnight with an eviction crew and make them leave. Evictions usually happen in the morning, so he should start to worry around 8AM Tuesday (the 29th). Also, without knowing when the notice was actually posted on the door, I wouldn’t be able to give him any kind of time frame.

I am SO thankful he started moving his stuff a long time ago! I am even more relieved that we had a chance to move his motorcycle Sunday afternoon. So that was one less thing he had to worry about in his mad dash to get all his crap out Monday night.

We talked briefly Tuesday morning. He told me that he still wanted to “hook up” with me for Date Night. I was glad, not only for myself but for him. He hasn’t slept since Sunday evening and that was only for an hour or so.

I want him to have a nice, hot bath and a comfy bed to sleep in with his “sexy pillows”.

Hopefully that is what we’re doing when this post publishes 🙂


Back to Work

Coming back to work after a vacation is hard.


In addition to taking last Friday off for the travel-time to Kansas City, I also took Halloween off and then this past Monday. It was a great to have Monday off because I was exhausted and sore and wanted to just lie around and rest. But then Tuesday came.

It was fine all morning long. I was making great progress on my email and I had gotten through the pile of snail-mail on my desk, but then Boss-lady came into my office and asked, “Did you get that email I sent earlier about the recruiting campaign not going out last Friday like you scheduled?”

too-many-emailsMy response, “I did take a look at it earlier and the profiles of the members in that group state the campaign is finished. I was going to look more into it right before I went to lunch.”

“Okay, thanks” and she walked away happy.

At about 1 o’clock I managed to figure out the snag in the email campaign and then, every single automatically-generated email was also BCC’d to our administrative email box!! There were going to be a little over 1,500 emails in our admin box if I didn’t get it fixed quick! I raced down to Boss-lady’s office to tell her, but she was on her cell phone. She looked at her computer screen and saw the emails pouring in and a look of horror consumed her face. She covered up the mouthpiece on her phone and said in a very loud angry whisper, “What the hell is going on!?!”

I tried to explain quickly because she was on the phone, “Our account is set up to BCC our admin email address on every single campaign email that goes out.”

“You need to fix that right now!”

“I understand, but I wanted to come down here and tell you that I knew about it and what is going on. I am going to try and get it fixed before I go to lunch. But, if I shut off that function, we won’t get ANY of the campaign emails that are going out; not just this one.”

Boss-lady answered, “Are you serious!? Well, just take care of this problem first and then we will address the rest. How long do you think this will take you to get it fixed?”

“I don’t honestly know if I can even fix it. I’m not an IT person and I have been kind of swamped this morning trying to catch up on everything else,” was my response. “Like I said, I will try to get those emails to stop before I go to lunch. I was just getting ready to go when this happened. Sorry to interrupt you.”

She nodded her head to excuse me and I went back to my office to figure this shit out.

It wasn’t even 5 more minutes when Boss-lady came into my office and said, “I didn’t appreciate the attitude you were giving me when you were talking to me just now in my office! You were very disrespectful to me. I know you are busy trying to get caught up from your vacation but that’s no need to be rude to me. You could have just told me that you were busy this afternoon.”

Now it was my turn to be shocked. First, I did tell her that I was swamped. Second, I have a tendency to be abrupt when I am busy and in a hurry — we talked about it last week before I went on vacation!!! Also, she was on her fucking phone, I didn’t want to interrupt her conversation (it was a personal call because she was on her cell phone — she never takes work calls on her cell). I responded, “There was no disrespect intended. I apologize for seeming that way, but I am just trying to get this problem fixed as soon as possible because I am busy today, like I mentioned earlier, and I need to use the ladies’ room (I hadn’t even taken a potty break yet!!!) and to eat my lunch. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”

She continued hounding me for a few more minutes, telling me how she doesn’t need to listen to my attitude problem when all she wants me to do is get my work done… I had to apologize 3 or 4 more times (I hate when people want me to keep apologizing. Each time I have to say it, it means less…). Eventually I said (this probably was disrespectful, but I really REALLY had to pee!!!), “I have already apologized to you and I am sorry, but I don’t know what else I can do to make it right. I am trying to get the emails to stop like you asked. I am sorry for any misunderstanding, but I would really like to be able to get this done.”

“Thank you,” was all she said and she walked back to her office and closed her door. We have an agreement in our office that, if a person doesn’t feel like they’re able to interact with the rest of us (there are only 3 of us in our part of the office), they need to close their door until they ARE ready.

She opened her door at 4:30 that afternoon when she was leaving for the day. On her way out, she stopped by my office and told me that she would be accessible by email and phone for the next few days while she was at her conference in San Fransisco.

“Thank you for telling me. Have a good night and a safe trip. I hope you learn a lot.”

“See you next Tuesday.”



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You Need Good Sex

Loverman doesn’t post on Facebook very often, but when he does…!!!

This is what he posted Monday morning while he was stuck at work:

Good Sex

Need I say more?



Monday’s Earworm! Pop Muzik

How to be Happy: Monday Blues

Good morning and Happy Monday!

One of my friends posted this comment on Facebook this morning:

I’d rather listen to country all day at work then pop music and if anybody knows me you know I hate country

Instantly, this song popped into my head and I had to share my precious little earworm with all of you because I care 🙂 :

Pop Muzic
by M

I hope you all have a lovely Monday!

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Unsexy Texts With the Husband

For your reference:
Dishwasher RepairOur dishwasher has been broken for over two weeks. It doesn’t drain, not even a little bit. Mr. Gloom-n-Doom hasn’t noticed (or maybe his lazy ass has and he just doesn’t give a shit, it could be that, too) and has been using the filthy water over and over again. I had been cleaning the water out every morning before I leave for work so when he loads it up with more dishes at least they aren’t getting washed with the same old dirty water.

On purpose, I didn’t clean out the water last Tuesday before I left for my two days with Loverman. I wanted to see if Gloom-n-Doom would actually notice that the dishwasher was broken… But he didn’t… So, when I got back from my “trip” last Thursday night, there was a load of dishes in the washer and I asked, “Did you clean out the standing water in the bottom before you started a new load?”

His response, “What are you talking about.”

“The dishwasher isn’t draining. I was sure you would notice. I’m surprised it didn’t overflow.”

“I didn’t see any water in the bottom, and I check every time.”

I closed my eyes, and behind my eyelids I rolled them at him. I clenched my tongue between my front teeth because I wanted to say something about how he clearly wasn’t checking and he didn’t know, otherwise he would have noticed that the water wasn’t draining and he wouldn’t have said “What are you taking about?”, but all I said to him was, “Okay.”

So, since Gloom-n-Doom wasn’t going to do anything about it (and I was getting sick of waiting for him to take care of it — he is the one who washes the dishes, so I should have just waited forever for him to call), Monday night when I dropped off the rent check at the office I asked them to come by our apartment and take a look at our dishwasher.

Here, for you, are the text conversations we had yesterday.


ME: Maintenance should be stopping by to fix the dishwasher today.

HIM: Thanks for telling me. Did you tell them to knock first?

ME: They are supposed to call me first. Then I will text you.



HIM: The office just called. I think they’re coming over to fix the dishwasher soon. Next time when you see Loverman (the husband knows his name and used it, not “Loverman”) can you get your tools out of the truck and bring them in?

ME: What about your Uncle D’s tools in the Living Room by the hearth. Is there anything in there that would work?

HIM: It was just a thought. Forget I mentioned it.

ME: Me too.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?! He knows those tools are in the Living Room just as much as I do. He put them there. Why can’t he be the one to use them and fix something? Maintenance came by yesterday afternoon and said they didn’t know if it’s the pump or if it’s just clogged, they will come back later… That was the last I heard from them… The husband hasn’t picked up any of the tools either…

Also (on a complete side-note), that lazy SOB didn’t cook ANY food for his daughters on the two nights when I was gone last week. Just so you know… In case you were wondering… (and I want to record it for posterity’s sake)



Last Monday I felt so special! I knew we were going to spend the night together, but he surprised me by showing up early in the afternoon to work on my truck. When he finished up, both of us returned to our respective homes to shower and get ready for our eagerly awaited reunion of our 2,000 parts.

I showered, washed my hair, shaved my sexy parts, got all lotiony-soft and put on a comfortable-stretchy-tight gray dress and some knee-high silver boots (that are SUPER sexy!). I was totally ready to hit the town! So, I texted him that I was on my way to pick him up.

When I got there to get him, he was dressed in some of his work clothes (but these were clean) and he smelled all fresh and bathed so I looked at him a little strange and he explained, “One of my car jobs called and we’re going to have to work on that before we head up to our room.”

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