Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Arrogant Ignorance


My email to the office staff at the Honolulu branch:

Would it be possible to provide the vendor with the correct W-9 that has our new office address? Then you wouldn’t run into the situation where the referral check is sent to the wrong location and deposited somewhere unknown.

That’s how the other offices handle this

Thank you


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Work and Sex Don’t Mix?

Sex on Desk

There’s a gentleman at work. He’s one of our agents and works as an independent contractor. He doesn’t come into the office very often, but we talk on the phone quite a bit.

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Oops! I did it again…

It turns out I like this being-passive-aggressive-thing when dealing with Loserman

Loserman did NOT work on my truck, Bear, last weekend like he promised (but he did manage to move it to the other side of the parking lot – something he’s also supposed to be doing).

So, I called him Monday morning while I was driving to work.

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Entitlement or Reasonable Expectation?

This post is from last Wednesday.

I am going to whine.


I have been dreading coming into work.




The only thing motivating me lately is my paycheck.


Yesterday, when I woke up, I even tried thinking:

If you know it will be a great day, it will be a great day!

But, as soon as I could see the office building on the horizon, my heart sunk in my chest and I felt like I would vomit.

I’ve been craving donuts every morning and there is a Voodoo Donuts right on my way to work.

am proud that I have only gone there twice since I started working here a little over 2 years ago.

But, both of those times were in the last 14 days *sigh*

In the last month I have had some challenges.

Not only with the Off-the-Chain-Crazy-Girl that I work with in my local office (who I have written about a couple of times in the past), but also with two ladies that work in the Atlanta office. Those two are always challenging my authority and trying to find all my mistakes. I make mistakes, of course. And I own them when I find them — or someone else finds them for me — I just don’t like it when they are put on public display and I am humiliated in the process of pointing it out.

My awesome Boss-Lady nipped the Atlanta ladies about 2 weeks ago, but there is still residual tension…

Which would be okay to work through except for Off-the-Chain-Crazy-Girl here in Denver. It’s just her and me and Boss-Lady; the 5 Realtors are in and out of the office all of the time, but none of them work full-time here (and all of them are men).

I am lucky that I have my own office, right?

That should be one of the things that I look forward to when I come to work, right?

Or should I feel more like I am in a cage being held captive for 40+ hours every week?

I used to work in a cubicle environment. It was not ideal, but it was okay.

There have been many times recently when I wished I still worked in a cubicle because, then, no one would be able to come into my office and close the door behind themselves to have a “private” conversation with me. The start of the conversation being, almost every time, “I don’t know what your problem has been lately. Blah, blah, yammer, yammer…”  (her ‘polite’ approach really helps me to be attentive to her…)

When I try to speak up, I am then told not to interrupt: interrupting is rude.

Once, I did get to say, “This right here, when you come into my office, close my door and start off by telling me I can’t defend myself. That’s kind of what my problem is.”

Needless to say, that didn’t end well.

Every time I defend myself to her she says, “But YOU did that to ME, too.” Sometimes I did, more often I didn’t.

Am I wrong to think that my office should be an environment that I can actually have some control over? (notice I say “some”, I understand that complete control is out of the question.)

There are so many uncontrollable elements that come at me every day, I wish I could feel that my office was more of a safe haven. Someplace where I can feel comfortable and “in control”.

But I can’t.

When Off-the-Chain-Crazy-Girl comes into MY office and closes the door behind herself, I am immediately put on edge and feel defensive. At that moment, I have lost complete control of my “safe haven” environment and I feel like I am in fight-or-flight mode. Especially when she is standing over me, directly between me and my only way out (my office is very small. There is no room for both of us to be standing on that side of my desk in front of the closed door. It’s definitely not big enough in which to have a heated conversation) and I am forced to wait until she allows me to speak or she finally leaves.

Most times, these conversations start with, “I don’t know what’s been going on with you lately” or something very similar to that. And, when I attempt to respond (aka ‘defend myself’) I am told not to interrupt!

Basically, it feels like I am sitting captive in MY office while she stands over me ‘insisting’ on how we need to make things right. Right now. Eventually, when there is a break where I can speak and I try to weigh in, I am told not to interrupt?!…

It’s like Off-the-Chain-Crazy-Girl is a bully who wants me to be her BFF and will keep forcing me to like her until I finally do (even if it’s out of sheer terror!).

I would love to be able to work from home 1 or 2 days a week like Boss-Lady. Or maybe work four 10-hour days? I asked. It’s not possible.

I also asked about moving to one of the agents’ cubicles and letting the agents use my office as theirs. That’s not possible either.

I should just be thankful that I have a job. Office or not.



Back to Work

Coming back to work after a vacation is hard.


In addition to taking last Friday off for the travel-time to Kansas City, I also took Halloween off and then this past Monday. It was a great to have Monday off because I was exhausted and sore and wanted to just lie around and rest. But then Tuesday came.

It was fine all morning long. I was making great progress on my email and I had gotten through the pile of snail-mail on my desk, but then Boss-lady came into my office and asked, “Did you get that email I sent earlier about the recruiting campaign not going out last Friday like you scheduled?”

too-many-emailsMy response, “I did take a look at it earlier and the profiles of the members in that group state the campaign is finished. I was going to look more into it right before I went to lunch.”

“Okay, thanks” and she walked away happy.

At about 1 o’clock I managed to figure out the snag in the email campaign and then, every single automatically-generated email was also BCC’d to our administrative email box!! There were going to be a little over 1,500 emails in our admin box if I didn’t get it fixed quick! I raced down to Boss-lady’s office to tell her, but she was on her cell phone. She looked at her computer screen and saw the emails pouring in and a look of horror consumed her face. She covered up the mouthpiece on her phone and said in a very loud angry whisper, “What the hell is going on!?!”

I tried to explain quickly because she was on the phone, “Our account is set up to BCC our admin email address on every single campaign email that goes out.”

“You need to fix that right now!”

“I understand, but I wanted to come down here and tell you that I knew about it and what is going on. I am going to try and get it fixed before I go to lunch. But, if I shut off that function, we won’t get ANY of the campaign emails that are going out; not just this one.”

Boss-lady answered, “Are you serious!? Well, just take care of this problem first and then we will address the rest. How long do you think this will take you to get it fixed?”

“I don’t honestly know if I can even fix it. I’m not an IT person and I have been kind of swamped this morning trying to catch up on everything else,” was my response. “Like I said, I will try to get those emails to stop before I go to lunch. I was just getting ready to go when this happened. Sorry to interrupt you.”

She nodded her head to excuse me and I went back to my office to figure this shit out.

It wasn’t even 5 more minutes when Boss-lady came into my office and said, “I didn’t appreciate the attitude you were giving me when you were talking to me just now in my office! You were very disrespectful to me. I know you are busy trying to get caught up from your vacation but that’s no need to be rude to me. You could have just told me that you were busy this afternoon.”

Now it was my turn to be shocked. First, I did tell her that I was swamped. Second, I have a tendency to be abrupt when I am busy and in a hurry — we talked about it last week before I went on vacation!!! Also, she was on her fucking phone, I didn’t want to interrupt her conversation (it was a personal call because she was on her cell phone — she never takes work calls on her cell). I responded, “There was no disrespect intended. I apologize for seeming that way, but I am just trying to get this problem fixed as soon as possible because I am busy today, like I mentioned earlier, and I need to use the ladies’ room (I hadn’t even taken a potty break yet!!!) and to eat my lunch. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”

She continued hounding me for a few more minutes, telling me how she doesn’t need to listen to my attitude problem when all she wants me to do is get my work done… I had to apologize 3 or 4 more times (I hate when people want me to keep apologizing. Each time I have to say it, it means less…). Eventually I said (this probably was disrespectful, but I really REALLY had to pee!!!), “I have already apologized to you and I am sorry, but I don’t know what else I can do to make it right. I am trying to get the emails to stop like you asked. I am sorry for any misunderstanding, but I would really like to be able to get this done.”

“Thank you,” was all she said and she walked back to her office and closed her door. We have an agreement in our office that, if a person doesn’t feel like they’re able to interact with the rest of us (there are only 3 of us in our part of the office), they need to close their door until they ARE ready.

She opened her door at 4:30 that afternoon when she was leaving for the day. On her way out, she stopped by my office and told me that she would be accessible by email and phone for the next few days while she was at her conference in San Fransisco.

“Thank you for telling me. Have a good night and a safe trip. I hope you learn a lot.”

“See you next Tuesday.”



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I Love My Desk

The past couple of weeks have been long and boring for me because, as you may already know from reading my blog, Loverman got a new job and his hours changed to the schedule-from-hell! (I’m only saying that because we have yet to adapt to it. It’s just different and I don’t like it…) I miss him so much it’s making me crazy, but I have been trying to occupy my mind with different (less lonely and futile) thoughts.

We actually spoke to each other this Monday, and it was an almost 2-hour-long phone call (we had a lot to talk about, what can I say?). And then Wednesday I called Mr. Loverman again because we haven’t seen each other for a couple of weeks. We caught up on each others’ lives: he helped a friend find a car on Monday after we talked, his new job sucks, I miss roller skating with him, his step-son has been driving him crazy, my teenagers are both home sick, etc… He asked if he could come and see me for lunch but I couldn’t because of a lunch meeting.  However, I did tell him that my very sturdy desk is looking a little cluttered and I might need someone to “help me clean it off” later… Like at 5:30 after everyone else has gone home… 😉

First, he said my name in that admonishing/stern tone that he uses when I am asking him to do inappropriate things…! (It’s SO sexy when he does that, it gives me butterflies in very special places!!!) Then he made some muffled comments on his side of the phone. And asked me a couple of questions to throw me off. Like: What time is skating tomorrow night? What time do you get off work? A couple more questions and then some more mumblings on the other end of the call: “hmmmm…yeah… that should work… uh huh…that sounds good…she’ll like that…” Then all of a sudden there’s a “Happy Birthday” and a confirmation “Yep, that’ll work just fine.”

I just listened to him and his silliness because I knew what he was trying to do to me — he was trying to get me all worked up! And, it worked like a charm (as always). When I heard the “happy birthday!” those butterflies almost exploded out of me because when he figgers something out, I LIKE IT!!! Of course I had to start asking questions… What are you talking about? Do I need to wear something special? Why won’t you tell me? What’s going on in your head, sweet coconut? (he calls me “peanut” so I picked a nut that matches him.) In my head I could see the grin that was on his face. I could hear it in his voice, too, when he said “You’ll just have to wait and see… Peanut!…”

We continued our conversation – the Happy Birthday topic didn’t come up again, but I did mention 5:30 a few more times before we hung up. Our phone call ended – once again almost two hours (good thing we both have unlimited minutes ;)). I think he went to sleep and I went on with my boring day, thinking that something would happen Thursday night either while I was at the Roller Rink or after I was done skating.

So then when I got a text from him at 5:05 PM asking when I get off, my response was “When you GET me off, silly!” (of course, duh!)

LM: Oh, I’ll get you off!

ME: LMFBO! I am so ready, baby! Are you coming to help me clean off my desk?

LM: Yeah, I can help you with that.

ME: Awesome, because everyone is gone and I have the office to myself. Hehehehehe…

LM: I’ll be right up!

Excitement! He hasn’t seen my office yet, except for in pictures. I was so titillated I raced out to the elevator to meet him. He greeted me with some tender kisses – barely touching my lips. Then his lips wandered to the spot right below my earlobe that gives me goosebumps and he lingered there for a second, breathing in deeply. “Mmmmmm… You always smell so good,” his whispery breath tickling the little hairs on my neck. I grabbed his hand and led him into my office and turned out the ceiling light (you know, just in case people outside could see in…).

He looked around and made a comment about my empty bookshelf and lack of things on the walls. There were a few comments made about my great view and southern exposure. Does it get too hot in here in the afternoon? -that kind of stuff. While he was talking and observing, I was unbuckling his pants. I rubbed my hand across the front to see if he was “ready” yet and my hand met up with one of the hardest erections I have ever felt! I think I might have had a mini-orgasm from the thought that he was already that excited to see me (writing about it now is making me tingle a little bit)!

With his pants around his ankles and me with my skirt hiked up around my waist, I “cleaned off” my desk with one swipe of my arm (just like in the movies). My Lover grabbed me around my waist with his hands and lifted me up to his hips (he is so massively strong — ooooh la la!). He lowered me onto him with impeccable aim and landed right inside of me with one passionate, deep thrust. While I held him deep inside of me, he lowered my body gently onto my lovely desk.

I could feel every part of his rock hard prick as it caressed the folds of my love canal. Moaning was out of the question, but this man felt so good I had to force myself to keep quiet.

I can’t remember how or when, but somehow he managed to flip me over on the desk so I was face-down, doggy-style. Sometimes I really like it this way. My hair gets sweaty on my face and it makes me feel so naughty — and, we should definitely not be doing this, so naughty was a very appropriate way to feel!

I wish our reunion didn’t have to be rushed like this, but I’ll take it where I can get it, baby! He felt so good inside me, every wrinkle on his throbbing dick making me shiver with pleasure as he moved in and out of me slowly… Gently… Deliberately… He takes his time, always making sure that I am completely satisfied before he allows himself his moment of pleasure to orgasm. This time was no different. I felt his anticipation and building excitement as he thrust more quickly and deeper into me. I had to let out a gasp of pleasure (probably more than that, I won’t lie) as he plunged one last time into the wet folds of my pussy. A moan of pleasure escaping his lips, too, as we both reached our climaxes together. Quietly and slowly, he leaned down over my back and whispered, panting, into my ear, “There. Now that should calm them down for a couple days. Huh?”

He’s so cute! That made me laugh out loud! We cleaned up ourselves (and put my desk back in order) and got dressed. And, just as we were getting ready to leave and I was locking the office door, the cleaning crew was getting off the elevator….