Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Today’s the Day

I recently found the most wonderful blog — Level Up Health. Lucas is truly inspirational! I wish I had found it sooner, it might have helped me get through some of my self-pity a lot faster than I did. This post actually made me cry because I was so happy for him. I am truly sorry now for all the whining I did when I was broken: I knew nothing.

Small Flower Divider

Today is the day if I find out if I am completely healed. I will find out if I am ready to go back to roller skating with my sexy Loverman again; if I am able to go bounding down the stairs again; if I can run across the street when a car is coming; if I can jump; if I can resume the Tree Pose; if I can have my truck back… I am nervous. I am excited. Tears well up in my eyes when I think about the closeness of it (silly, I know…).

This will be the first appointment that I go to without Loverman. Mostly because we’re both pretty sure that the orthopedist is going to tell me good news (I feel like I am going to have to get a note in order for Loverman to believe it, though ūüėČ ). But, also because I am able to walk unassisted now. In fact, if you were watching me walk, you would never know that I broke my ankle at the end of November and that I now have a metal plate in it.

I am so very proud of my progress! I listened to the doctor. I took my vitamins. I completely quit smoking, to the point that I don’t even crave one any more. I didn’t gain as much weight as I thought I would. Time passed so fast that I can’t believe that it’s gone already. Amazing!!

And tonight I get my great reward for letting myself heal slowly and completely!!! I get to go away to a lovely mountain hotel and spend two nights (and two days!) in a suite with my most favorite man in the world! And I get to do that regardless of my diagnosis!


Broken: Day 10 (Pay it Forward)

The World's Largest Roller Coasterat Fuji-Q Highland amusement park

The World’s Largest Roller Coaster
at Fuji-Q Highland amusement park

Please forgive me, I will be very random in this post… My Percocet is finally kicking in this morning and I am starting feel a little numb again (and my home computer sucks ASS!).

These past 10 days have been a total roller coaster — mostly of scariness.

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Scary Things That Upset Me

  • There were a couple days that people just sat there and watched me struggle with my crutches: while carrying a backpack, a purse and trying to open a freaking door. Just sat there and watched me struggle! Those were some pretty frustrating and angry times for me.
  • Insurance companies! I can’t believe how very un-helpful they truly are. Last Thursday afternoon was completely wasted on being transferred and disconnected and forgotten on hold – and ultimately, after someone finally told me they knew how to help me, the problem still isn’t resolved because that person hasn’t returned my call.
  • Crutches! My apartment is on the 3rd floor of our complex. Don’t get me wrong,¬†I don’t mind the exercise I am getting as a result of going up and down those stairs (and my bedroom is in our loft, on top of it all (pun intended) LOL), but I am scared to death that one of these times,¬†when I am ascending alone, I am just going to fall backwards… Aaaahhhhhh!!!…. And everything takes SO long.
  • I can’t roller skate – Saturday night was total hell for me! My youngest daughter felt sorry for me and spent the night watching How To Train Your Dragon with me but Saturday Night Skating has been happening for over 2 years now. It felt strange…
  • I can’t do my Yoga. My body feels so stiff and tight – I’ve been stretching the best that I can but it’s just not the same.
  • I can’t even go on my daily lunch walks (and the weather has been just¬†phenomenal here!!!)
  • Handicapped Parking – it’s kind of a joke.
Guardian Angelby Arunas Zilys

Guardian Angel
by Arunas Zilys

Refreshing and Happy Things That Give Me Hope

  • There were days where people were practically racing (and practically fighting) to open the door/s for me or to help me carry my things. There are definitely more good people than bad — the bad ones are just so discouraging.
  • My boss loaned me money so I could pay 1/4th of the¬†30% co-pay for my surgery. She gave me no timeline to pay her back.
  • AFLAC — Oh! My! God! I am SO glad it is offered at my new job. I don’t care how much $$ they give me, I will love every single penny of it (because otherwise i have no idea how I am going to pay these hospital bills, etc…)
  • The Office/Patient Coordinator at my Orthopedist. She is going to deal with all my insurance company issues because “it’s my job and I have some contacts at these insurance companies that can help me. It’s your job to get better and, to help you get better faster, just let me handle these problems for you.” What a lovely-spirited lady – Ashley, my angel of the week!
  • The Denver Broncos (Go, Broncos!)
  • Loverman!!! He spent his entire Friday last week waiting for me at the Surgical Center (he brought a bag of donuts with him, though, and I wasn’t supposed to eat anything. That made me laugh because the nurses didn’t let him hear the end of it!) And after it was all done, he carried me up 2.5 flights of stairs to make sure I made it home safe!!! (The husband watched the whole thing! That was like the frosting on my cake because, the night before, I asked the husband if he wants his daughters to marry a man like him — the husband, not Loverman… Again, he just got very angry at me and completely avoided the question – he deflected it.)
  • The Doctors and Nurses that performed my surgery and all of the staff there.
  • My totally awesome daughters and friends! I had no idea how many people care about me (and how hard it is to ask for help!).

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Sarah Larsonw/ George Clooney

Sarah Larson
w/ George Clooney

I think this broken ankle (partially) was my bad karma for inviting Loverman to the holiday party instead of the husband. ¬†Also, the last Saturday night that LM and I spent together (I meant to write¬†and tell you all about it. It was an orgasmic evening/night. One I will remember for a long time… But my life kind of got a little hectic so I haven’t been able to tell you like I wanted to.)¬†I covered it¬†up with a really bad lie (I know, I know¬†– there aren’t any good lies…). A lie that the husband almost called me out on.

I have my follow-up appointment on the 14th – they will change the dressing and let me know if everything is healing as it should…

December 15th is our office holiday party! I am still very excited (because Loverman is going with me) but I am also disheartened because I have such an AWESOME party dress and my biggest accessory will be this huge cast ūüė¶

Tomorrow I am going back to work. I could have been there the last two days, but my awesome boss told me to take this much time off “just because”. Also, I am NOT looking forward to the daily struggle of trying to get around like a “well person”. My temper runs short and it’s difficult not to focus on the angry…

I am grateful to everyone. Even the nasty people who are so anti-helpful — because, without them, I would not appreciate the true¬†awesome-ness of all¬†the helpful people out there.

So, (as a favor to me) please remember to:

Pay It Forward

And the world will be a better place!!!


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