“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” ~ Fred Rogers
Okay. I know it’s been forever since Loverman has been gone, but I have been thinking about him a lot lately (I am referencing him as Loverman instead of Loserman in this post because that is the ‘him’ I miss).
It probably has a lot to do with the evolution of my relationship with Alaska and the scary potential of actually even having one.
Waking up with him Sunday morning was even more wonderful than Saturday.
We woke with the sun. I started stirring about an hour before he did, fading in and out of dreamland, enjoying the way he felt laying next to me, relishing the comfort of the bed and the warmth of the blankets.
My head fits perfectly in the nook of his left shoulder.
So much so, that my neck doesn’t start to get stiff or my arm underneath doesn’t fall asleep. In fact, it’s so comfortable there, I can actually fall back to sleep in that place.
(A week later, TC still wakes up with thoughts that I am cradled there on his arm.
(get ready, this is gonna be a long one *smh* but also possibly very entertaining…)
I started a profile on FetLife a couple of months ago, but I haven’t done anything with it until recently. It probably has something to do with the fact that my first contact came on the first day and he was a total jerk that wanted to Top me immediately and get me into the group thing (and not the “munch” kind of group). He wasn’t even remotely polite about it either.
My profile blatantly states that I am totally new at this D/s & BDSM thing.
I told him that I was more interested in exploring things before I get into a full-blown orgy (although I might not be opposed to one at some point… I don’t know…) and that was the end of the conversation.
Well, last week when I ventured out again, I ‘met’ a nice man from Maine. He’s been spending time getting to know me. In fact, my recent venture into kinky erotica was first written in email-form to him. Not once has he asked me to call him Sir. We are just having respectful (and sometimes erotic and kinky) chat.
I wantso badly for someone to be proud of me and to tell me they’re proud of me.
To value me and help me feel that value.
To treasure me like I know I deserve to be treasured.
To wear me on his arm like a prize.
I do all that I like and enjoy almost every single day, but I still feel unfulfilled and I still struggle to fill that void.
I search for validation from my partner because, no matter how hard I try and no matter what I tell myself, I still do not have the power to validate my Very. Own. Self.
I want to bloom, but I don’t know how to nurture the tiny baby blossoms.
This was my response (with a few edits) to a comment made on my post the other day by luv2sex