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What Would “You” Do?

So…

If you were in a serous relationship with a guy for 16 months and just found out that he’s known he had another child since last Father’s Day, would it bother you? (she’s 14 – so he wasn’t cheating or anything)

If so, how would you handle it?

If not, why didn’t it bother you?

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7 Ways to Tell You’re Just a Booty Call (and/or that Your S.O. has Probably Moved On)

  1. He/She doesn’t show any interest in any of the things that interest you
  2. He/She doesn’t buy you gifts “just because”, or for holidays, or ever
  3. He/She doesn’t take you anywhere and always says “No” when you ask them to do something with you (outside of the bedroom)
  4. He/She stops inviting you over to his/her house
  5. He/She forgets your birthday, even after being reminded it’s coming up
  6. He/She only hears what he/she wants you to want, not what you actually want
  7. He/She can only find 3-4 hours a week to spend time with you – sequestered alone in your bedroom, working at least 50% of the time and ‘letting’ you please him/her the rest of the time

Don’t find out the hard way 😦

“Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”

“Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”

This book is brilliant!! Steve Harvey offers up advice to women and it’s SPOT ON!!

And blatantly honest. At one point in the book he addresses cheating and how all men will cheat on their spouse if given the chance and enough reason/motivation. I appreciate that.

SteveHarvey

He talks about:

  • what a man needs to accomplish before getting seriously involved with someone
  • how to tell if a man is really into you or playing around
  • how a man shows you he loves you
  • how to communicate with men and what a man needs in a relationship
  • AND how women need to actually MAKE their men take care of them! Require him to open the door for you, etc…

I’m almost finished reading it and I want to rush out buy it for every woman I know – whether she’s in a relationship or not!

For sure I am getting it for my daughters!

Learning Curve

Learning Curve

Every time something ends with a guy, I want to run back.

Maybe it’s because I don’t know how to deal with feelings of loss.

Maybe it’s because I want to stay with what’s familiar.

Maybe it’s fear that I won’t be able to find something as good. I mean, the relationship has ended, but it was something. If that something wasn’t good, I probably wouldn’t have stuck around for as long as I did (or want to go back, for that matter).

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Still on a Break

Still on a Break

So, I guess we’re still on our “break” (not that I am counting, but it has been 20 days).

I am completely losing my mind! I can’t focus on a goddamn thing!

I need to get out of my marriage… *sigh* Loverman is almost out of his and I think he is wanting me to take a bigger step. I don’t know. The things he said to me Sunday were so cryptic. I have so much thinking to do…

He is trying to get all of his stuff moved out of Diva’s house before the bank finally forecloses on it. He has no idea when that’s going to happen, but she hasn’t paid the mortgage for almost a year now. After that he has nowhere to go. Literally nowhere.

I am scared for him and I love him (I think) so I want to help and protect him (I think).

Sunday we got together to test drive my car. He’s been working on my Plymouth Breeze forever the last five years. It’s totally done now. I feel like I should be happier and more excited. I feel like I didn’t appreciate him enough.

On Father’s Day, after he hadn’t slept for over 24 hours (his choice, I get it, but still), I decided to push his buttons.

I fucked up a perfectly good day because I wanted to have a fucking discussion about trust (trust seems to be the theme-of-the-month).

He was telling me that he didn’t want to give me the switch for the sunroof in my truck because he thought the glass was slightly off track and wanted to be sure it was secure before I opened it on the highway and it flew off. We have talked about this already a couple of times.

I understood and told him that I just wanted the switch so I could open it a crack on my way home waiting in traffic (the AC in my truck fucks up the gas mileage something fierce so I don’t run it, but it gets really hot in there) and I don’t drive on the highway to get to and from work.

He said something about his friends Sean and Joseph and how he lets THEM have/do stuff and they don’t listen to him and then call him a week later to tell him those things are now broken.

I tried to tell him that I don’t like it when he doesn’t trust me based on something SOMEONE ELSE did (my parents were like that – it’s totally a sore spot for me). Most times I try to do what he asks me to do. Really hard. Most times he is right, and I like how he’s proud of me when I do what he says.

You would think that all the times I do (or don’t do) something that he asked me to (or not to) do, I should get credibility points or something. (I totally understand that my reasoning is flawed here because Loverman would be devastated if he found out I was fooling around on him – regardless of what he has told me in the past.)

He kept interjecting with “But” and giving me a reason why he didn’t trust me based upon a different someone else’s actions.

I got really upset, then he got really upset.

He left to get the sunroof switch.

He brought it back to me.

I could tell you the rest, but it’s long and boring. I was being a douche and so was he. We talked about uneven teeter-totters, trust and living together, broken marriages and futility.

None of it good, sadly. Or maybe it was, in the bigger picture.

This week he has been avoiding me, but I get it. He needs space and right now he is totally overwhelmed with life kicking him in the ass. The last thing he needs is a selfish girlfriend telling him she needs more validation.

I miss him, but every single year in June this shit happens with us. So, this year I am going to try and let it blow over and appreciate my alone time to sit back and reflect.

taking-a-break

I HATE Being a Girl!!

I HATE Being a Girl!!

BlameItOnYourPeriodI don’t want to get a sex change or anything. I am just saying that maybe if I had been born a boy it wouldn’t have been so bad.

I wish I knew what it was like to be a boy so I could compare.

Girls have all of these stupid, tangled emotions that get in the way. They’re impossible to sort out and sometimes the very worst ones come at the most inopportune times.

I can’t fucking shut off my damn brain! I just want to stop thinking. But no matter how hard I try, thoughts keep slipping in.

Like: why did I feel so disappointed this morning? I write here trying to figure out the answer to that very simple question.

Maybe it was because today was the first time in ever that Loverman didn’t get me off. I’m not sure I got off last night either… But, last night was about him. It was my time to worship him because he has been taking such good care of me lately.

We didn’t take a shower together like we always do. I showered alone. He hadn’t slept well the day before (he works 3rd shift and went to a friend’s house to work on their car and get a short nap) and then he said he didn’t sleep well last night, so he took the opportunity to sleep in while I was cleaning up and getting ready for work.

When he dropped me off this morning, I had spent our entire waking morning together crying on his shoulder. Not the weeping, sobbing kind. It was the kind where tears just keep rolling out of my eyes no matter how hard I try and stop them. He didn’t ask me to stop. He just let me do it. I’m pretty sure that he was uncomfortable because he was sitting next to a crying girl, but he let me cry and then gave me beautiful, sweet huggs and kisses when he dropped me off at work.

You should see me right now, sitting at my desk, all pathetic and fighting back the inescapable tears. Getting frustrated with myself for getting ‘so emotional’ that have to try even harder to hold back the tears.

I’m not really this upset that I didn’t have an orgasm, am I? My period just ended, is that it? I have been doing some deep de-tox treatments on my belly, could that be causing my emotions to spiral out of control? Is it stupid peri-menopause? I’m there: night sweats, hot flashes, apparently violent moods and depression now, too… My period was two weeks late — maybe it’s the extra 14 days of build-up…

Connection Lost by ookami-zone on DeviantArt
Connection Lost
by ookami-zone on DeviantArt

I think part of it is because we didn’t get to see each other last week, so I didn’t get my usual “fix”. The more time we spend together, the more I miss him when he’s gone (Distance) and we have been spending a more-than-normal amount of time together lately. This week I craved his closeness so much and I guess last night/this morning I didn’t get enough to get me “over the hump” (pardon the pun). Could it be that I am simply missing the connection that we usually make? Hopefully skating with him tonight will help…

Loverman has been so good to me for the last few weeks. I can’t even begin to enumerate his wonderfulness here, but most of it has to do with his incredible patience with me and the fact that my truck, Bear, has been going completely insane! Maybe I am upset because I am feeling like I am not meeting his needs — a personal feeling of inadequacy, he has never said such a thing. He tells me quite frequently how well I take care of him…

I have a better relationship with my OM than most of my friends have with their actual spouses and here I am trying not to cry about it?! WTF? It doesn’t seem like I really have anything to cry about…

Skating tonight will help….