A week ago I received this exciting message from a gentleman on FetLife (not Rock Star):
(please note that the days/times are not accurate on the screen pics… 😉 )
Part of me thought it was so smart and sweet, but the other part felt the actual content of the message was a little cold and flat.
It reads kinda like a form letter, don’t you think?
But it also shows respect to me, the recipient…
“Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! — I have as much soul as you — and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh: it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God’s feet, equal — as we are!”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
All I am hearing from you is fear and excuses. Are you even attempting to understand what I am trying to say?!?
I am trying to love you!
I’m scared, too. I was scared of being vulnerable and letting you in, but now that I have, I’m scared of losing you.
I am trying to give you forgiveness, openness, honesty, gentleness and love. With all of my being I want to fight back and say mean things that hurt you and make you cry. I want your heart to bleed as mine is, but that is just plain mean and I don’t feel like being mean. I care about you.
There’s a gentleman at work. He’s one of our agents and works as an independent contractor. He doesn’t come into the office very often, but we talk on the phone quite a bit.