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Bipolarity

I’ve been seeing a shrink

It started after I told Thing #1 I wanted to kill myself and asked if she wanted to come with

That was when I finally realized I was out of control

It’s been since high school, some 30 years ago that I’ve felt so self-destructive

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Square One

…you know, if you say a word enough times, it no longer sounds like a word… it doesn’t even look like one really…

hypocrite

I am such a hypocrite.

When I am dating (aka: fucking) someone on the regular, somehow I feel it’s okay to get possessive/jealous and not want their dicks to be in any other women’s holes,

yet *I* still continue to “play the field”

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Maybe Submission Isn’t For Me (aka The Note I Didn’t Send)

Maybe Submission Isn’t For Me (aka The Note I Didn’t Send)

Wild Submission~ submission photo WS3_zpsfe6495a3.jpg

I think part of my issue with my submitting to you 100% is that I don’t really know my place. It’s hard for me to define myself as your little girl (or you as my Daddy) because, no matter what, for right now I am only the temporary ‘side bitch’. The thought is preventative and defeatist, I know, but I can’t get it out of my head. I am so lost and confused in my feelings about ‘us’. Right now I am supposed to be yours as your kitten/toy/doll/little girl, but I don’t really know what that means or entails. We’ve established boundaries, but not enough for me to establish a definite ‘role’. We are just starting to touch on which behaviors of mine are acceptable to you and which are not. When do I call you Sir or [Mick] or Daddy? Or are they interchangeable? Also something to think on, I don’t know why but I am having a tough time with calling you “Daddy”. It has slipped out in the past, before you defined yourself as such, now I find myself resistant to it. I am so fucked up…

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