Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Someone

It’s possible he won’t like that “Someone” is the name I chose for him…

We’ve been conversating through my blog for quite some time; it was right before my skate trip to Dallas when we exchanged numbers.

He came to my hotel one evening while I was there and we met in the lobby.

We chatted for an hour or so. I enjoyed his company, he was handsome, gentlemanly, very intelligent…

I actually wondered why he didn’t try to kiss me, but I figured it was meant to be a platonic friendship and that was totally alright with me!

Sex messes things up for me anyway, and my 21-year-old daughter was sleeping up in our room… There wasn’t much we could have done.

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What Do I Bring to the Table?

Strength_Weakness

I have been struggling to figure out what strengths I bring to a relationship. I know what *I* want and need, but what do I have to offer?

Everything I put on that list just seems plain fucking ‘cheesy’ to me:

  • I am a good cook/I can bake yummy things
  • I can take care of myself/be independent
  • I’m curious/adventurous
  • I take fairly good care of myself and am healthy
  • I’m a good teacher and good student (if it’s something I want to teach/learn)
  • I’m intelligent/articulate and want to communicate with my partner
  • I have a good sense of humor
  • I am (relatively) stable
  • I fancy myself to be good in the sack 😉

Are those actual things, or do I have the wrong idea?

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Emotional vs Physical Intimacy: Interchangeable or Interdependent?

Heart

One thing I noticed recently about my relationship with Mick is I don’t feel a compulsive need to be having sex with him all of the time we are together. In fact, my actual sexual libido is almost non-existent. I’m rarely horny any more. That could be because (when we’re together) he is touching me almost all the time and (when we’re apart) he never leaves me wondering if he actually likes me or not! We are honest and forthcoming with each other and communicate very regularly about uncomfortable things: his girlfriend and living arrangements, his tax situation (most recently), the fact that I will probably be roommates with Things #1 and #2 for quite some time yet… I expect we will continue to be transparent with each other, because that is our foundation.

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The “Bear” Necessities

Unfortunately, life and work are necessities.

Imagine how droll sex would actually be if that’s all we ever did!.

Instead, we trudge on through our sordid lives looking for that bit of relief and release that intimacy provides us.

BearNecessities

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Puzzle Pieces

It wasn’t long after I started messing around with Alaska that I had a painful realization about my “relationship” with my father.

I think it was at the end of the very first night he really spanked me hard and marked me.

As he was holding me in his arms and my ass was glowing red, I started to cry.

I couldn’t remember the last time my father touched me.

In fact, I struggled to remember if he ever had.

That’s probably when I started getting attached.

But Alaska wasn’t emotionally available.

EmotionallyUnavailable

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Thanksgiving

I had a lovely day with Alaska and his family and friends! Of course, it helped that I had already met half of them…

The atmosphere was comfortable. There was no stress or family drama. Alaska’s brother invited a client and his wife over to watch one of the football games that day (they had a bet going!).

Alaska and I even had time for some play before and after and an evening nap! (That boy sleeps a lot!! But I guess sex does that to a guy 😉 click here and scroll down to #4. Apparently it’s a thing.)

When I first arrived, I brought my veggie tray to the kitchen and said my “hellos” to Alaska’s brother and sister-in-law. I thanked them for having me and asked if there was anything I could do.

While I was helping with a few last-minute things, Alaska went downstairs to his apartment and instructed me to come down when I was done.

I am an obedient girl 😉 so I did as I was told.

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“Hard Out Here”

Hard Out Here

by Lily Allen

 

 

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It’s All Fun and Good Until Someone Gets Hurt

So…

Submission…

I tried it…

The first few times it wasn’t so bad. It was fun, really…

Then there was last week.

Whipped with a switch that I cut for myself…

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Sex Is Brainier for Women

I haven’t mentioned it yet here, but I have been doing a considerable amount of “romping around” over the past few weeks. The only time I’ve mentioned it here was to vent about being frustrated that guys are wimpy and flaky and they can’t handle me.

Well, Mitch and Azi are back (Mitch was never really out of the picture, I just haven’t been writing about him – I will very soon, I promise).

And there is a new guy I met on Tinder: Alaska. I will tell you more about him next week… 😉 Read the rest of this entry »

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…on love

Quote

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