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Dinner

It seemed as though Alaska may have missed me while I was away last weekend. However, this time he actually remembered I would be gone.

I actually shared my google calendar with him after he’d forgotten numerous times that I would be away for something or other… When he asked me why, I told him that was the reason.

The first time he called or even attempted contact was Sunday morning while my crew and I were getting ready to return home. He even made a joke!

“We’re on our way out right now,” I said. “Would you like me to call you when I get back into town?”

He snickered a little and said, “No! I do not want you to call me when you get home!” Then we both busted out in laughter. It’s a rare occasion that he plays around like that, if at all.

“Okay. It will be after 3 before I call. Have a good morning,” I replied and ended our call.

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About Last Night

About Last Night

Below are my email correspondences with Mick the day after our choking incident/mishap/”episode”

JumpingIntoBed
Hope you’re having a good day! I saw this picture and it made me laugh. I love a good bed to jump into and have it fluff all around me. Work is creeping along here like a turtle. I sincerely wish I could be jumping into that fluffy bed next to you.

Last night was amazing and special and very memorable. Thank you so much for sharing little bits of your soul with me. Yes, you’ve told me that you won’t be able to talk with me about some of those things ever – just the fact that you stayed mentally with me last night and didn’t withdraw into yourself was very special and meant a lot to me. And I was only scared for a millisecond. When I saw your face, I realized where I was, that I was safe and heard the same song still playing (though I can’t remember what it is now 😉 )

Enough of that sappiness… You are great and wonderful and I feel ever so special when I’m with you – like I’ve never known! Thank you for a lovely night and morning!
Your Kitten

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Chat

My Necklace

At long last, I received my necklace back from TC. Thank you, TC.

Is it a coincidence that it arrived on my birthday or do you think he planned it that way?

As you can see, it’s nothing much. It isn’t made of gold or silver or platinum and it doesn’t have any precious stones set into it.

It’s just a plain, ordinary necklace that I made for myself, then decided to hang in my wonderful truck, Bear. It hung there the entire time I had him (6 years).

When I had to get rid of Bear, I thought about moving it to my car, Breezy, but I wasn’t ready to see it hanging in front of my face every day: morning and night, reminding me of painful things too close to my heart. Instead I decided to give it to TC as a special “piece of me” that he would be able to keep close to him when I was far away.

Now that I have it back, I really don’t know what to do with it.

Now, it has even more negative energy and memories attached to it, and it used to be such a beautiful piece of myself.

Part of the band was mashed in a post office machine during the process of being mailed back and a few of the beads were disintegrated.

Maybe I can rebuild it and it will become more beautiful than before…

Quote

Amazing

He is amazing, but not like those guys in the stories.

He is amazing for the way he thinks.

He is amazing for the way he treats me, for his desire to care for me and help me improve myself.

He is amazing for his ability to keep me feeling special, even when I feel mundane.

He isn’t amazing simply because he’s a nice guy, he’s amazing because he found my soul in the quagmire of a billion and had the courage to reach out and touch it…

amazing

A Temporary “Problem”

A Temporary “Problem”

Before I wrote my Signatures post last week, there was a little bit of “drama” with Doom-n-Gloom.

After all this time, he still doesn’t have any type of government-issued picture ID! He wanders around with a ratty old County-Issued Birth Certificate that the state of Colorado won’t even accept as legitimate proof of identity and his photo ID from work. (I wrote my Is a Drivers License Important? post over 2.5 years ago)

When he gets carded at liquor stores, they won’t sell to him because he can’t prove his age. He then argues with the cashier because he is “obviously old enough to buy alcohol, gray hairs and all!” Of course that never helps, but he feels the need to do it anyway.

He has to call and make special arrangements if he needs to take an airplane anywhere. He gets to go to the Special Kids line… I’m so glad he doesn’t travel often, and never with me.

He can’t even get into a marijuana dispensary, let alone buy the shit!

Two weeks ago we went to a Notary Public at UPS to have our divorce papers notarized so I could file them with the county court.

Of course, the Notary would not notarize Doom-n-Gloom’s signatures because he could not prove he was really him.

I was absolutely furious.

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There’s Still Hope

There’s Still Hope

Monday night I received a text from Scorpio:

Hey just to let you know I got some of that money ready for you to pick up whenever you want

I was SO surprised! Based on my past experiences with men (and a recent conversation) I honestly thought I would never hear from Scorpio ever again.

We met on Tuesday night after work and he paid me $100 of the $140.

He greeted me with a hug and I’ll admit that it was pretty awkward. We haven’t even spoken, only exchanged a few texts about the money he owes me from our Sk8cation a month ago.

Also, he had a friend with him and I didn’t know if they were expecting me to give them a ride or what. I asked if they needed a ride, they discussed it for a minute and decided to stick with Plan A: take the bus.

Scorpio told his buddy that he was going to talk to me in my car for a second and would be right back.

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“I Am”

“I Am”

I love this entire album by Christina Aguilera, but this song always warms my heart.

(I needed very much to feel special today and Mr. X really helped this morning – thank you, Sir ❤ )

I hope you enjoy it, too

I am timid and I am oversensitive
I am a lioness, I am tired and defensive
You take me in your arms and I fold into you
I have insecurities, you show me I am beautiful

Love me or leave me
Just take it or leave it
It’s not that I’m needy
Just need you to see me

Take me, free me
See through to the core of me
Take me, free me
There will be no more pretending

I am temperamental and I have imperfections
And I am emotional, I am unpredictable
I am naked, I am vulnerable
I am a woman, I am opening up to you

Love me or leave me
Just take it or leave it
It’s not that I’m needy
Just need you to see me

Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands
I’m asking you to take me just the way that I am
Please lay down your arms, do you know me?
Make me feel safe from harm

I am temperamental and I have imperfections
And I am emotional
There will be no more pretending

 

Patience Has Its Rewards

Patience Has Its Rewards

Two FacesI totally behaved last Friday night (my real Valentine’s Day)! I was exceptionally patient and I was a very good girl! On the outside (♫ but that was all ♫ that mattered ♫ )

On the inside my 42-year-old id was on complete and total overload…

One minute I was raging mad about having to wait around forever and the next minute I was completely zen and asking myself what’s the point getting all worked up about it? Then the next minute, I would look over at Loverman’s sexy body and want to rip his clothes off right where we were!

In the end I was totally rewarded for keeping my insanity in check! Ooh la la! By the end of our night together I felt like a very, very special girl. It was such a fantastic ‘Valentine’s Day’ that, all week I wanted to run around bragging about how awesome it was to every single person I saw! Yeah, it was that good.

I am SO lucky!