Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

He’s Gone

He’s gone. I shouldn’t be so sad anymore.

But I am.

He’s gone. I should feel relief instead of loneliness.

But I don’t.

He’s gone. I need reach out to others for support.

But I can’t.

He’s gone. I still hate myself for being so stupid.

But I’m not.

He’s gone. So, why am I still broken?

Because he never refilled my cup.

After drinking so selfishly from it…

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Trying Something New

So, I have mentioned a couple of times here that I am trying to build my own Network Marketing business

I even wrote a post asking my readers to check it out and let me know what they think of it

A few actually did

Now I am here again asking for your support in my new-ish endeavor

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I Need to Learn How to be a Salesperson

TLC

Good morning and happy hump day, you lovely people!!

Alaska introduced me to Total Life Changes a few weeks after we started seeing each other. I was telling him about my work frustrations one night and asking him if he had a way I could get the hell outta there. I was kind of kidding, but he had an answer: I can build my own business!

It’s one of the ways he visibly takes care of me every day. He checks up on my progress and my contacts, he offers support and answers when I need help and have questions.

That being said…

Sales pitches aren’t my thing at all, but I REALLY want to share this with everyone I care about! I am SO excited about these products and the program!! I’ve lost 7 pounds in the last 3 weeks and I feel more energetic and healthy than I ever have.

If you want to get healthy and feel better, please come and see what I am talking about: healthy coffee and cocoa and a night-time chai that will melt off the pounds while you sleep better and wake up more rested; an amazing cleansing Iaso tea that guarantees you will lose 5 pounds in 5 days…! But the long term body balancing and rejuventaing effects of the Ganoderma and Chaga are even more awesome! There are skin care products, and even an online fitness program to help you stay on track.

And, if you’re interested in making some extra money on the side, you can sign up to be a IBO yourself! After people sign up underneath you and start selling too, you could make enough money to pay for your products; even MORE!!

Please visit my product page to see what has me so excited!! And feel free to contact me through my blog if you have any questions. If I can’t help you, Alaska will!

http://iasotea.com/heatherlee or https://totallifechanges.com/heatherlee

TLC2

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Disappointment

Disappointment

…or perhaps they *should* be…

A week ago Tuesday, two days after I got back from my visit to Houston, I had a job interview.

I was kind of excited about it because it would be working for a very large, very successful company with benefits that I do not have at my current position.

Conversely, the afternoon before, for extraneous reasons, I was seriously thinking about cancelling. But, rather than discourage myself further, I just decided that I was going to do it, or rather that I HAD to do it.

TC was excited for me. He took time out of his hectic morning to encourage me. It felt lovely! I was even going to post the conversation here, but my Verizon account is messing up right now and I can’t take screen pics of my texts *sigh*

I thought the interview went very well.

Once I finished up with the Departmental portion of the interview, they told me they would be calling me for a second interview so I could meet with the rest of the team.

After that I met briefly with the gentleman from Human Resources who had initially contacted me.

He explained that someone would contact me by Friday, August 7th either way: interested or not.

No one called…

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Tonight

CuddlingCouple

Tonight I wish he was here to hold me and support me, tell me I did good and that he’s proud of me.

The last two afternoons have been tough and I am proud of myself for having gotten through them, but I wish I could get really drunk and have my brains fucked out for the rest of the night…

I feel so lost

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Support

Loverman and I haven’t really had any alone time together for about 3 weeks. His work schedule has completely changed. He has been coming skating with Thing #1 and me on Thursday nights, but I can’t kiss on him and molest him then!

Supposedly, we are going to finally get to spend tomorrow night together. He has already told me not to get too excited, they might change his schedule again.

Strange but true: I actually have mixed feelings about seeing him.

Last week when I was telling him about the drama going on at work, he kind of blamed me!

It really hurt my feelings! Everyone is already on the side of Crazy Girl at work. He’s supposed to be on MY side.

After listening to him for a minute, I interrupted, “I need you to be on MY side here. I really do. You are my best friend and I need to know that when I come to you with a problem, you aren’t judging me. I need your support, baby. This situation at work is completely out of control and I haven’t been able to see you and ‘recharge’. I am having a really tough time going to work every day.”

He acquiesced then and said, “If you feel like you need to look for a different job, Mama, then that’s what you should do. I just don’t understand why we can’t all get along.”

We were on the phone, but I wanted to hug him because of how quickly he backed off. “I know, baby. I want to get along and keep the job I currently have, too. But it isn’t working out that way.”

Then I added, “I really hate having to talk to you about this crap anyway. I like how we’re always happy together and I really try to keep it that way.”

He agreed.

The subject changed and eventually we were both laughing and back to normal.

P.S. When I wrote this post in my head last night it was much more eloquent 😉

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Lost In Discovery…

It’s so simple

I crave intimacy

Intimacy

I want someone to hold my hand

To support me when I need it most

To fix the water heater when it’s broken down

To kiss me before bed

To kiss me when I wake

To cuddle up to after a bad dream

To make love to me in the front seat of my car

Or the shower, or the movie theater, or in my bed

Anywhere. Anytime.

I want someone who enjoys the same things as me

Someone who knows what I mean when I can’t make the words come out right

When I got married, I was too young to know any of these things

How I wanted my relationship to be

How I needed my husband to be

What intimacy was

Now that I know

I am lost in discovery…

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