All of the time I suspect that things are not what they seem…
…everything has a different meaning…
No one truly means what they’re saying… (I’m getting much better at this one)
Part of that is conditioning I received from my parents (mostly father). And, although I am not blaming them, I have a really tough time changing those conditioned parts of myself.
Right now I am on my second visit to TC.
I have total mixed feelings about it. Sometimes I am totally excited and then, other times…
I don’t know, you tell me –
… for my release?
I am horny and frustrated.
Pent up and repressed.
My imagination constantly returns to thoughts of pleasure and appeasement.
Not knowing when…
Is this a test? (is that a stupid question?)
Is this a part of my ‘training’? (and this as well?)
Would it be easier if I knew…
How long must I wait?
Smitten with Him 