Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

An Offer I Had to Refuse

My mom was in town over Indigenous People’s Day weekend.

All in all, things were uneventful and we had a decent enough time.

Red Rocks Park

At Red Rocks Park and Amphitheatre

She brought a friend with who had a problem with her mouth filter, especially as she became more tired. That made our final day together a little more biting challenging than I would have preferred.

Read the rest of this entry »

10 Comments »

Moving

(I haven’t been feeling very up to writing lately, but this has been sitting unfinished in my drafts folder for far too long.)

moving

This is NOT all our stuff!

The weekend before Thing #1 and I moved was absolute craziness.

Doom-n-Gloom and Thing #2 were planning on being out of the old apartment by Sunday evening.

Long story short: they weren’t. When the day was over, they hadn’t even moved half of their things. The rest for us to ‘deal with’ until their return Monday evening.

Read the rest of this entry »

5 Comments »

I’m Just a Mom: Moving

MovingDayIn a little less than 3 weeks, Thing #1 and I will be moving to a new apartment across town.

Finally, after a year of being divorced, Doom-n-Gloom will no longer be living in my apartment.

I’m super duper excited!!!

However, Thing #2 is kind of creating issues.

She has decided she would like to continue living with her father.

Read the rest of this entry »

17 Comments »

Life Changes

from Pinterest

from Pinterest

For the time being, my life is in a quiet, restful place.

Like the calm before the storm.

Read the rest of this entry »

1 Comment »

Smitten and Doom-n-Gloom Go to Court

divorce

Last Thursday morning was our initial status conference for the divorce.

I was anxious that, because Doom-n-Gloom doesn’t have a picture ID, we might have some problems. So ahead of time I talked with a court adviser who explained that the facilitator probably wouldn’t even ask for identification — but we should bring whatever he has just in case.

Read the rest of this entry »

2 Comments »

Quiet

I am thankful to say that the reason I haven’t been writing is because I have nothing really to write about. Things are mostly quiet in my life.

Read the rest of this entry »

4 Comments »

Return of the Ass Hat (aka: Loserman)

asshat

I have finally come to terms with the fact that my truck Bear is not going to get fixed. At least not while *I* still own him.

Originally Loserman was supposed to have Bear fixed by the end of February. That was the deadline I had set for him.

When he didn’t meet that deadline, he set one for himself: the end of March.

In fact, March appears to be the last time in here where I mentioned it or Loserman. (Infuriation? & Oops! I did it again)

There have been some interactions in-between that I almost told you about. One time he came over and showed me everything that he has done and exactly what he was and would be doing. I thought it went well. It seemed like he was really doing something.

Read the rest of this entry »

8 Comments »

Last Friday

(First off, I want to tell you that I had an amazing weekend with TC. Absolutely amazing!

But I like telling a story and it seems that I have a tendency to be long-winded, *per one of my readers* so I am going to be just that: starting with the beginning of my day Friday all the way through until TC left (way too soon) on Sunday morning. Ummm… but not all in this post…

There were some seriously mind-blowing times, so I might accidentally leave some things out. That does *NOT* mean I didn’t enjoy every single moment. I am still savoring them all. Every. Single. One.)

Read the rest of this entry »

4 Comments »

Being a Mom: Finances and Fatherhood

mother_daughter_fight

Last Thursday evening, Thing #2 and I got into a lovely row.

It started with her defending Doom-n-Gloom. For the first few minutes it was mostly civil: I have no problem with her standing up for her father, when she’s being reasonable.

I remember how I used to get when I was 17: entitled, presumptuous, a total know-it-all…

She was being all of that.

Then she said, “You’re taking an unreasonable amount of money from Dad every month. He can’t save money for anything.”

I stood up and looked her directly in the eye and said, “Your father pays me $200 a month and buys 80% of our groceries. He reimburses me for the $3,000+ in expenses it takes for me to maintain this household. Don’t tell me how I am being when you have no idea.”

“But I don’t know what’s going on, Mom. You never tell me how much you make or how much the bills are.”

“That’s because it’s none of your business and, if you wanted to know, this is not the way to ask. Please don’t assume that I am being the ‘bad guy’ here.” Then I got out the financial statements that we have prepared showing our individual incomes and our expenses. (To be honest, when I filled mine out, I was actually blown away at the amount I pay as opposed to the amount that he does. But, he carries their insurance… And I am divorcing him…)

I handed those financial statements to her and told her to look them over. When she refused, I sat down with her and I went over every single item I pay for and how much it actually costs me. Then his. It blew her mind. It blew my mind. So much that I was totally on the verge of breaking…

Which is what happened when Thing #2 brought up how Thing #1 treats their father/Doom-n-Gloom. At first, I explained as calmly as I could that it is IN FACT her father’s responsibility to treat both of his daughter’s civilly and with respect. I am a stickler for fairness between the two when it comes to my children.

Thing #2 was telling me that I didn’t know what I was talking about. That Thing #1 needs to be nicer to her father and I have to stop making excuses for her all the time.

I completely lost it. I was already angry, but that presumptuous child had no place telling me how an daughter/father relationship dynamic should work. I don’t talk about it much on my blog, but my father doesn’t talk to me unless he absolutely has to. Period. He will never make initial contact. My mother is the tie that binds. My brother is cool but busy trying to keep up with his best friends ↓

Here’s an example of how my father feels about me:

My mother had a heart attack 6 years ago, 2 years after we moved to Denver. My brother called to tell me Mom was in the hospital.

He also told me what Dad had said to him earlier that day:

Don’t bother calling your sister to tell her. She doesn’t care anyway.

My brother might be a fake Christian and a wanna be, but he doesn’t lie and he’s not intentionally cruel like my father.

I was grateful he told me.

Back to present time… There was a lot of yelling after this. Doom-n-Gloom finally came in and changed the subject back to the original: money.

He explained to Thing #2 that he doesn’t have a problem with the amount of money that he has to pay. It’s perfectly reasonable.

I thanked him for deflecting her. Then she proceeded to yell at him for 30 minutes. When she was done, she called her ex-boyfriend-now-best-friend so she could yell at him for another 30 minutes.

This entire time, Thing #1 was cleaning the kitchen to stay out of the entire ordeal.

Once Thing #2 was done with me and moved on to her father, I came upstairs and unloaded on a friend (who I will be telling you about tomorrow). We chatted. He was supportive. I felt better and went to sleep after that. I didn’t want to talk to Thing #2 again before bed. I was calm enough to fall asleep and I didn’t want to ruin that…

Selfish. I know.

The next morning I apologized to Thing #2. I was mean and said things I shouldn’t have said. I acted in an unmotherly way.

“I’m sorry for being so mean to you last night.”

“I forgive you, Mom. But you know that doesn’t make it right.” Then, she mumbled under her breath,“I’m sorry, too.” I barely heard her.

“Please could you repeat that last part? I didn’t quite hear you.”

“I’m sorry, too, Mom.”

I held my tongue in regards to her flippant comment in regards to “making it right” and told her I accepted her apology as well.

She walked to school that morning.

When I got home, she apologized for being such a bitch that morning when she accepted my apology.

Leave a comment »

Infuriation?

Now, back to real life…

Loserman came over to work on Bear Saturday afternoon (actually in the middle of my writing ‘Aftercare…‘ It made it tough to come back and finish, that’s for sure 😉 ). The whole experience with him went better than I expected it to…

At first I wasn’t even going to bother him, but I needed to ask him a question about Breezy and the spark plugs and since he was right there I wouldn’t have to bother him with a text and have him not answer me…

Anyway… I’m in the process of trying to get over him and then Saturday I see him and he’s actually doing what he says he’s going to do; we get along and make jokes while we’re talking; he actually shaved and looked good before coming over this time… My stupid feelings for him want to come back. I start thinking that maybe we can make things work…

We can’t.

Read the rest of this entry »

10 Comments »