Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Sharing Is Caring

I’m back on Tinder again

It’s an on and off again relationship

Much like the one I had with Alaska

Anyway, here’s a rejection I’d like to share with you

This was after dude ignore me two times when I asked him if he wanted to go out…

“Omg! I don’t know how I missed that message.”

Twice.

Yeah, right.

 

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Meet: The Kisser

goodkisser

As soon as I got my first smart phone (about a year and a half ago) I downloaded Tinder and started swiping almost immediately.

I slept with my very first match (not surprisingly – we really hit it off. You’ll see in a minute), but I didn’t share it on my blog.

I couldn’t remember why I decided not to tell you about him…

…and I couldn’t remember why there weren’t subsequent hookups.

I remember where he lived, that the sex was good; I remember his cock and I remember that he was the most amazing kisser!!

So amazing that, of all of the boys/men I’ve kissed since him, only one has even remotely kissed as well, and that’s Dreamboat.

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Mr. Player

screenshot_20161123-154532.png

(Nice kitty!)

I was having a “lovely” conversation with a fella on Tinder (because I caved and signed back up *sigh*).

He seemed decent enough. Usually I swipe left on guys without a picture, but this guy had made an effort to write a profile and put his height in it, the words were spelled correctly, AND he made a challenge about having fun!

I figured, what the hell? If I don’t like him, I don’t have to keep talking to him.

As luck would have it, I did enjoy talking to him and, before taking things any further I wanted to see a picture of him.

So we exchanged numbers.

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No More Fakers

(It was difficult figuring a name for this post. It was either the name it got or “Online Predators”. Both seemed appropriate…)

I’ve had quite a few terrible online dating experiences over the past 16+ months since my sexy Loverman left: Twitter, Tinder, Craigslist, FetLife, Collarspace

Terrible enough that every single one of my online profiles has been deleted.

Except my blog

dilberthateeveryone

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A Flake of Tinder

DatingIsHard

This guy seemed decent. He seemed intelligent, honest, fun, active… His photos appeared to be current and, if they were of him, he was attractive.

I swiped the match on a Sunday evening. He was out of town, but responded within a reasonable time that he was driving back into Denver early Monday morning, could I contact him sometime later that day?

Sure. No problem.

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Spandex Buddha… What?!

He calls himself:

Spandex

His profile said only:

Not sunglasses….

Usually I don’t go for so few words. I want to know something about the guy. At least then I can say something witty, instead of, “Hi. How are you?”

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T.M.I.

TMI-HowFascinating

Last Tuesday night I went on a “Tinder date”.

I was pretty sure it was only supposed to be a one-night stand, but that’s what Dreamboat was supposed to be and now he’s planning our long-term future together (still!).

This guy seemed okay from our brief Tinder conversations. My standard for that is: keep it brief and still be conversational; use some wit and we should be golden.

It’s pretty easy to tell if I’ll have any chemistry with someone based on this Initial Intelligence Interaction.

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My Amazing Aesthetician

Not only does she give a great Brazilian, she is very wise.

At all my appointments, we talk about the men in our lives (mostly mine, because she is more at peace with herself and her needs).

Last time, I mentioned I am getting frustrated with myself because I can’t figure out what/who I want.

I’m restless. Feeling old. I mentioned that I didn’t really want to reschedule another waxing next month because… what’s the point?

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Stepping Out

Coincidence_Pattern

Last weekend I stepped out on Mick.

Things with him have been driving me batty. I felt like I needed a break in perspective (whatever that means).

So, Wednesday I turned my Tinder profile back on, changed my distance settings from 10 miles to 50 and started swiping (left mostly).

As (bad) luck would have it, I matched with someone whose profile seemed pretty awesome. Especially the fact that it stated he was moving to Steamboat Springs (3 hours away) at the beginning of June. (He currently lives almost 40 minutes from my house so, even if he wasn’t moving, that in itself would be enough reason for me not to want to get too involved.)

Perfect! Something fun and very temporary.

Whatever… That’s not how it turned out.

I sent him a note and waited to see if he would respond. Within 24 hours he did:

OK great… I’m moving to Steamboat Springs and Tinder finally lights up.

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To Swipe or Not To Swipe

I swiped right

He swiped right

It was a match!

This is what happened next (I’m green):

image

WTF?!?! Why would you even be playing on Tinder if you were going to be leaving town in a couple of hours?!

What an ass!

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