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Saying “I Love You”

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Sometimes those three words are easy to say.

…to my daughters, my friends…

Other times, even thinking about their utterance is frightening.

I yearn to tell Alaska that I love him, but I don’t.

Is it fear of rejection?

I know he won’t reject me…

If he was going to reject me, it would have been long before now. Read more

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The Kisser: Kinky Talk

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I like almost everything kinky… sex outside… spanking… some light humiliation… bondage when done correctly… and I would love to go to a sex club!

Really?! I’ve wanted to try Mon Chalet for a while now. I don’t know of any others…

Awesome cool! It’s kinda neat there. I’ve only been once and during the day.

Nice. Just kinda neat?

That was a mild understatement. I wish I could have seen more.

I want to hear more about the bondage and humiliation…

Like calling me a dirty slut, tying me to the bed while you eat me out… Force-feeding your cock to me…

I will seriously try just about anything with someone I trust and who treats me well.

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Mr. Player

Mr. Player

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(Nice kitty!)

I was having a “lovely” conversation with a fella on Tinder (because I caved and signed back up *sigh*).

He seemed decent enough. Usually I swipe left on guys without a picture, but this guy had made an effort to write a profile and put his height in it, the words were spelled correctly, AND he made a challenge about having fun!

I figured, what the hell? If I don’t like him, I don’t have to keep talking to him.

As luck would have it, I did enjoy talking to him and, before taking things any further I wanted to see a picture of him.

So we exchanged numbers.

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Conversations With a Catfish #2

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08/16/2016

Morning buttercup

Good morning

How is daddy’s special girl doing today??
By the way, daddy loves her voice and talking with her last night.

Thank you for saying so. It was nice talking with you, too. But I don’t think that I am able to commit to abstinence and being “all yours” yet like you want. I don’t want to jump into anything like that.

I’m not asking you to yet sweetheart

I must have misunderstood then. My apologies.

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Status

No More Fakers

(It was difficult figuring a name for this post. It was either the name it got or “Online Predators”. Both seemed appropriate…)

I’ve had quite a few terrible online dating experiences over the past 16+ months since my sexy Loverman left: Twitter, Tinder, Craigslist, FetLife, Collarspace

Terrible enough that every single one of my online profiles has been deleted.

Except my blog

dilberthateeveryone

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6 Months

6 Months

She Wants

It’s been a little over a week since Mick had his flashback.

We have since spent another Thursday night, Friday evening and Sunday afternoon together – with and without kink and completely without incident.

Other than the two posts (Sharing Space and Mind and About Last Night), I haven’t written about it because my emotions have been pretty scrambled.

Thursday night was special to me because Mick accidentally let me see a part of his inner self. But after that, *he* was having issues with letting his guard down too much with me and *I* was having issues with liking him too much.

Spending Friday night with Alaska was supposed to help put some distance between Mick and me. Instead, it put more distance between Alaska and me (which is what needed to happen anyway).

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Monday Motivation: Mr. Rogers

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.” ~ Fred Rogers

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If You Thought You Knew How Awesome Mr. Rogers Was, Wait Until You See This – click to be redirected 🙂

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Waking Dream…

Waking Dream…

… I wake up to a gentle nudge at my side and then feel something being slipped onto my head and over my eyes. It’s soft but tight, and once it’s in place I truly can’t see anything. You lean in to me and whisper in my ear “Do you trust me, baby?”. I try to answer, but you put your hand over my mouth and I can only nod.

“That’s right,” your words have a reassuring tone. “Stay quiet, get out of bed, take my hand and follow me. I am going to take you somewhere.”

I do as I’m told. A lot naked and a little afraid.

You open the garage door and lead me down the few carpeted stairs leading to the chilly pavement. A shiver runs through me and I can’t tell if it’s the cold or fear. I hear the truck’s hatch as it pops open. Your hands envelop my curvy waist as you guide me toward to the back-end of your Jeep.

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It’s not you, it’s me

It’s not you, it’s me

It is *definitely* not you
It definitely *is* me
I am too needy

And
You weren’t the one who didn’t make himself clear

*I* was

It is so very important to me that you keep your word

Crucial, actually

Once the trust is broken
It’s broken
How can I know now?
What you mean and what you don’t?

My heart is guarded from you
Tender from your random radio silence
Convinced that you will do it again

And again

And again

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