Glutton for Punishment

Glutton for Punishment


I neglected to mention in my previous post, on my way out of Alaska’s house New Year’s Eve?

Yeah. I caused quite a ruckus.

He rents an apartment in his brother’s basement. I spent Thanksgiving there and used one of the platters that my daughters made me (back in 2008) to plate the food I brought. I left it there and kept forgetting to pick it up.

First, we tore apart the kitchen looking for my platter. It wasn’t there, so he told me that he would talk to his brother’s girlfriend and find out where it was – I could come back a different day and get it.

Then, once I got outside and started walking to my car, I realized that I had left my phone charging on his TV stand. I knocked, got the dogs all riled up, but he didn’t come to the door. Probably because he was back down in his apartment and didn’t realize I was trying to get back in.

For a minute I totally panicked. I was SO mad at myself! But, once I took a breath, I realized I could go around the side of the house and knock on his basement window until he came back up. In the process, I fell over the child gate blocking the deck from the dogs.

I’m actually surprised none of their neighbors called the police. It probably seemed louder to me than it actually was…

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Ahhh, FetLife

Ahhh, FetLife

I have ‘met’ a few men through FetLife (here’s a post about one of them), but I’ve only met two in person.

The first man was back at the end of April, right before TC flew out to meet me in May. He was my age. We got together twice, but I didn’t like him so much. Once he told me he was married, that was the end. He wanted to continue things, but I explained to him I no longer wanted to be the “other woman” (that and the fact that I didn’t really like his whiny ass very much).

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Sk8cation: The Rest of Saturday

Sk8cation: The Rest of Saturday

Read about Friday here

After our wonderfully awkward morning together, Scorpio needed to take a shower (ya think!?). But it wasn’t only because of his little phone sex episode in the bed earlier, it was also the fact that he has to be as germ-free as possible at all times and he had just spent and entire night sleeping across a king-sized bed from my filthy ass. (Can you feel the sarcasm oozing here?) We were going to a free picnic in the park that afternoon and he needed to look his best.

To be honest, I don’t remember what I did while he was taking forever to get ready. It didn’t bug me for the first half of the vacation, but he just takes so long to do everything. I was probably out on the deck again getting high. That’s probably why I don’t remember.

Anyway… The picnic was pretty freaking awesome!!

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Contacting Loserman

Contacting Loserman

I had to call Loserman today about my broken truck, Bear.

We only talked about my truck.

(That’s the way I wanted it — it’s hard enough just thinking about talking to him, let alone doing it without tearing his heart out and having it for a snack…)

At the end of our conversation he told me that I could have called or texted him Friday night when it happened.

I explained that I didn’t want to bother him, and then said I was sorry my truck broke.

(because I am really, really sorry that Bear took a shit before I was ready to talk to Loserman about it)

He said, “You’re never bothering me.”

I told him that I don’t feel that way and that my heart still hurts from the way he treated me (on our sk8-venture from hell).

I told him that I still cry every time I think of him.

(Mondays are the hardest and I don’t know why, but every Monday my heart aches for him.
I didn’t tell him that, I am just sharing that with you.)

It got uncomfortably silent.

His eventual response was, “I will think about Bear for a couple days while it’s cold. From what you’re saying it sounds like there are two things going on. I’ll call you later in the week so we can make plans to look at him when it warms up a little.”

I just want to hear him to say, “I’m sorry I broke your heart, Mamacita.”

I don’t want to get back together with him — at this point, nothing would make me want to get back together with him.

I know that after talking to him today.

The entire time I felt uncomfortable and defensive. I was holding back tears and sniffling. I wanted to lash out at him. It was hard to hold my tongue when the mean things in my head were screaming so loudly to get out!

I just want him to tell me that he’s sorry for what he did to me — without me having to ask him for the apology.

I want him to acknowledge he hurt me.

I want to know that he feels bad for it.


I wanted to be in a good mood, but then work happened…

I wanted to be in a good mood, but then work happened…

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! I wanted to be in a good mood today. Most days I want to be in a good mood… My last post even suggests that I wanted to be in a good mood!

I’ve written one other post about this co-worker in the past. It was lame and boring and I was going to delete it, but I didn’t… Well, she is in rare form today, let me tell you…Bitchy Mystique

I have talked to my boss about this co-worker before and the things that she says and how she acts, so at least she is aware of the problem and that this is not the first time. Boss-lady agrees, but says that “right now ‘bitchy girl’ is going through a very difficult time in her personal life.” Does that really give her an excuse to behave like this at work 2-3 days a week? This is the letter that I just sent to my boss about my super-mega-bitch co-worker from hell!

‘Bitchy girl’ came into my office and started spewing at me about how I make her feel stupid all the time and how I am always condescending to her. This was after I jokingly said to her that sometimes *I* am uncomfortable around *her* (hopefully you are catching the irony here?) (our boss had just left her office and bitchy girl had just said that our boss makes her feel uncomfortable. I was only trying to be silly.).

When she came in and started spewing at me, right before your meeting now, she closed my door and asked me to tell her why I feel so uncomfortable around her. I told her that it’s situations exactly like this where she corners me and starts attacking me. She told me again how stupid I make her feel all the time (those words were stressed) and asked me again why I am so uncomfortable around her. I wanted to tell her that I feel like I am walking around pins and needles around her: one day I say something and it’s okay but the next day I could say the exact same thing and I am the worst, most evil person on the planet. I understand this behavior coming from my 15-year-old daughter, but I don’t think that I should have to figure out how to deal with this behavior when I am at work – I shouldn’t have to act like I am dealing with a 15-year-old. In fact, I honestly don’t think that I should always feel like I am walking on glass whenever I speak to a peer, especially at work.

I feel that any other confrontations that I have with ‘bitchy-girl’ today will only be negative and turn out badly. I would like remove myself from the situation so I can try and displace myself from the things she said to me. I have a very hard time working alongside someone who thinks I am always talking down to her and treating her like a moron. Especially when I make such an effort NOT to treat her that way!

Thank you for listening and I would give anything to get to go home, but I can’t… So, I will try and behave.

But, this time I would like to officially go on the record and say that I have a severe problem with bitchy girl’s behavior.

I don’t have the hours to take the rest of the day off otherwise I would have just walked out while they were in their meeting (after sending the email to my boss); I checked before I wrote this. The hardest part about staying at work for the rest of the day is that Loverman has the day off and is waiting for me, in my neighborhood, to take me to lunch!! I could just leave for the rest of the day and be somewhere I want to be — somewhere with someone whom I do NOT make feel stupid and like a moron. Someone with whom I never feel uncomfortable.

(FYI – I am posting this out of spite and anger! She has no idea that I have a bog, but I feel like being severely passive aggressive — I almost left her name in it!)