Smitten with Him

grown-up stuff happens here sometimes

Last Isn’t Always the Best Color

I’m not good enough to be anything but last.

How do I know?

People keep showing me

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It Sucks I Have to Pretend You’re Dead



My divorce from Doom-n-Gloom is final.

According to the agreement, in order to avoid paying him support, he gets to live with me until our lease expires mid-September 2016.

But, I am single now and I could be yours if you would have me.

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“Don’t Believe Him”

Don’t Believe Him

Via on May 20, 2015

Don’t believe the boy who says he’ll be there for you with a sweetly charming smile, but never actually shows up.

He’ll say a lot of things; talking is his specialty.

When he talks, he waves a wand, making words into sparkly magic tricks that trip you up all over yourself.

Silky, romantic whispers become mind games become lies.

And, f*ck, he lies so much that he lives in a gossamer web of glossy half-truths, unsure himself, of what’s real and what’s not.

With a lost look in his eyes and confusion stamped all over his heart, he’ll tell you he loves you.

But, he doesn’t.

He can’t.

He’s so empty that he’s forgotten how to love at all.

But, for a second, you’ll fall for his beautiful words and glittering strings of grand illusions.

You’ll give every ounce of your strength, trying so hard to fix his wounds and make him whole.

You’ll do everything, something, anything at all to make him stay.

But, he will never stay—because he was never there in the first place.

It’s okay.

You’ve known in your gut all along that something was wrong.

Believe yourself.

Kiss him hard and let him go.

Yes, let him go.

Then, when you’re ready, seek the man you can believe, whose actions match his words.

He will stand proudly by your side, honored beyond belief to weave his fingers through yours.

He will have integrity tattooed on his soul and radiating pools of golden-flecked kindness in his eyes.

He will be honest as shit with you because he’s honest as shit with himself.

He will not play circus-themed mind games because he’d rather buck up and bare his heart.

He will be brave enough to love you in all your messy, loud, tear-stained, gorgeously scarred glory.

He will not be perfect, but his flaws will compliment yours perfectly.

He exists.

Don’t settle for his cheap, a**hole imposter.

Because you, beautiful soul, you deserve the real thing.