Aside

He’s Gone

He’s gone. I shouldn’t be so sad anymore.

But I am.

He’s gone. I should feel relief instead of loneliness.

But I don’t.

He’s gone. I need reach out to others for support.

But I can’t.

He’s gone. I still hate myself for being so stupid.

But I’m not.

He’s gone. So, why am I still broken?

Because he never refilled my cup.

After drinking so selfishly from it…

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Aside

Confusion Tears

I don’t know, can you even call them that?

Am I confused or lost? Are they the same?

Hmmmm… And there’s double meaning to it, too…

What did *you* think I meant when you read the title of my post?

I meant the crying kinda tear, but after I looked at it a second time, it could also mean the ripping kind of tear.

Maybe that explains why it hurts so much – are my eyes crying because my heart is torn?

Aside

Daddy?

This is a comment a friend of mine made.

It upset me more than I can explain or understand…

It was strange how I reacted so strongly to a simple, ignorant statement.

For some reason I felt the need to educate her in a gentle and friendly way.

I thought for quite a while on what I wanted to say.

My comment was very basic. I just wanted her to open her eyes a tiny bit. It wasn’t important to me that she understand the concept entirely.

It’s kind of like a pet name. Like Baby or Sweetheart or Honey.

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Aside

Show Me

Reminders so I don’t take him back:

  1. Telling me my feelings are stupid when he doesn’t understand them
  2. His conceit and selfishness
  3. He’s a loud open-mouth chewer
  4. It’s always a struggle for his attention and time
  5. Not keeping his word, aka: empty promises
  6. Lack of respect and appreciation
  7. EXCUSES!!!
  8. Ignorance (circling back to #1)

If you love me, fucking show me!!!

(It’s taped at the head of my bed, so it’s there as the first and last thing every day)